Lately I have been feeling depressed b/c I want to have a baby.....?

Question

I'm only 19. I know that I am to young to be thinking about having kids.Plus my b/f of 2years doesn't want to have a baby right now either..and its not like we are even financially stable, but I keep thinking what it would be like to have a baby and it just makes me happy I feel like there is something missing in my life? Could this be it or do i just want a baby b/c all my friends do?? Please help?? My b/f does not understand what i am going threw right now...

Answer 1

Just remember that there is plenty of time for that. Get a dog or a cat that you can shower with love to satisfy at least a portion of the maternal instinct.

Answer 2

I do think it is natural to have these feelings esp. since your friends have babies. But it also sounds like you are an intelligent person who has two feet on the ground: you recognize that the man in your life is not ready to start a family; you recognize that you cannot afford to bring up a child right now (they are expensive, and the $$ for them never ends); plus you mention that something feels like it is "missing" in your life. If you do not feel completely whole right now, a baby is not going to complete you.

Try to get to know yourself better. Read, journal, read self-help books; go to therapy; talk with friends and family of all ages and gain their perspective. If you still need that baby fix, offer to babysit for your friends -- I am sure they need the break and you'll probably gain some first hand perspective on how tiring motherhood can be at times. You could also volunteer to hold babies at a neo-natal unit or something like that. I am sure you have a lot to offer, but I know you probably also have a lot to learn about yourself and life, too, right now. No need to rush the family.

Answer 3

You shouldn't have children until you are married and in a committed relationship with someone. If you are lacking attention then trying to divert yours to having a baby is not going to make you feel better. It will just give you some unwanted responsibility and that happy feeling will grow old, then you will regret the decision later. Seek comfort in the relationships you have and don't make decisions based on temporary feelings. Babysit or keep someone else's child or spend energy helping out as a big sister that way when you are married and it's time to have children you will be that much better at it and be prepared to be the best mother you can.

Answer 4

There is something missing in your life, you are right, and having a baby is NOT going to fill it up. Maybe you need to go out more with your girlfriends? are you going to college? if not, you really ought to start. Realize that your life ends when the baby is born and theirs begin, you are fully responsible for another being for about 22 years. You should see a therapist, a clergy person or counselor. The issue here IS NOT that you want a baby. You just THINK that it's the solution - once again it is NOT.

Answer 5

As you say, you are only 19. At your age it's pretty natural for you to want to fit in with your friends. As your friends all seem to have babies, you think you need to have one too!!

My only advice to you is to NOT have a baby right now!!! You say you feel like something is missing in your life, but a child will not help get rid of those feelings.

Being 19 is all about becoming an adult and figuring out who you are and who you want to be!! I would recommend that you focus on continuing your education or starting to figure out what your career goals are. It may also help to try and spend time with people your age who do not have children yet.

You have your whole live ahead of you, and plenty of time left to become a Mum. Don't be in such a rush to give up your independence!!!

I hope this helps!!!

Answer 6

Volunteer at a daycare center, or spend some significant time with your friends who already have babies. You're only thinking about the good things babies bring, but not what babies need from you. Life is hard, so give your future child the best possible chances you can. Wait until you have a solid future with your b/f, and you are financially secure, and you have experienced life yourself so you can pass on your knowledge and patience to your baby.

Answer 7

I understand what you are going through, but keep reminding yourself that it will be better for you and your baby to wait until you are financially able and have the support of a loving relationship with the father. There's nothing wrong with you other than hormones. For right now may I suggest a kitten or puppy to fill your time.

Answer 8

i am 19 and i am the same way, but my husband is in the army so we actually both want a baby right now, and i thought i was but i found out 3 days ago i wasn't so hopefully when my husband comes back tomorrow we can work on it some more, b/c i understand where you are coming from, i was the same way he didn't want a kid either for a while. he just turned 18 in July.
but i finally talked him into it, and now that's what we have been trying, you just have to talk to him and tell him how you feel. that's what i had to do, just talk to him, tell him how you feel about it, tell him how bad you want it. and hope for the best, and i hope the best for you, i hope it comes true for you. (oh and age shouldn't really matter after 18).

Answer 9

i think you may be 2 young 2 have a baby, y don't u volunteer to babysit some of ur friend's kids until ur financially stable? When u r, and if ur bf doesn't want kids, why don't u adopt 1? It will be less painful than having ur own.

Answer 10

I had a baby at 20,preggers at 19. I love him. But you want the truth? I'd have been a better mom if I had waited...he had to struggle AND sacrafice WITH me. It shouldn't be that way. You have time. I can relate, but think how depressed you'd be to look at a baby, and know you had no money for food. I've been there and its awful. I'd cry and cry. Wait....your baby will come:)