I have an aunt in her 70's who smells really really bad. Somehow it doesn't bother her, but people often comment about this behind her back, because everyone is afraid to mention this to her. She goes to the hair dresser once a week to get her hair washed, and that is the only time she washes her hair. She does not shower. She cleans up w/ a wash cloth on Fridays, and that's it. It is sickining and unhealthy. What can I do? I've bought her bath and shower products, and they just sit in her bathroom unopened. There is also a handicap essable shower in her house, that she doesn't use. And she doesn't like to wear perfume, so that answer won't help! Yikes!
2006-10-06 11:54:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
When the person is 70 years old, the phrase 'set in their ways' comes to mind.
There is nothing you can do.
2006-10-06 11:57:12 · answer #1 · answered by Manny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should NOT tell your 70 year old Aunt that. She probably has a problem with her kidney's, bladder or bowels. You really don't know. Probably she is afraid to get into the shower, for fear of falling. If she needs help with a home health aide, then suggest that. Probably she needs assistance. As far as washing her hair once a week , that is a good sign. Most elderly women only do that once a week. They see no need to do it more often. So why don't you ask if she needs help ? Assist her with her laundry. Probably she truely needs a home health aide to help her bathe. She possibly doesn't know how to reach out to get help and doesn't want to bother you. Who knows? But don't insult her.
2006-10-06 19:20:11 · answer #2 · answered by Norskeyenta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your mom help her get a shower at least once a week. She is 70 so she needs someone to make at least this decision for her. If not then you may have your family consider putting her in a nursing home. Everyone talking behind her back is hurtful and not helping her. Take a lead roll in this she is your aunt and you will be glad you did.
2006-10-06 20:55:06 · answer #3 · answered by purrfectsandcastle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell, be proactive. Find out why she does not take showers/baths, and figure out with her how you can help her take baths. She could be afraid of slipping and falling in the shower, it could be that there is something that is physically or mentally hindering her ability to shower, or it could be that she simply forgets to do so. Discuss it with her first, and then figure out, hopefully with the help of other family members, what you can do to remedy the situation.
PS. She probably doesn't use the perfume because she knows from experience that masking the odor doesn't really help the situation.
2006-10-06 19:14:07 · answer #4 · answered by Haveitlookedat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she have children? Her children should tell her to shower. If she doesn't have children, then it is your duty as next of kin to tell her.
Say "Aunt __, I think you need to shower at least 3 times a week or whenever you have visitors coming over or when you are going out for errands or whatever. You also need to shampoo your hair at least 3 times a week".
I know someone who is the same way. He has depression and it made him dislike taking showers and washing his hair. The above is the same advice I gave him.
2006-10-07 13:13:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might not be able to smell herself. My dad is in his 90's and has the same problem. I just said, Dad, you need to take a real bath.
If you love her you will tell her.
Now, if you find out how to tell someone you don't know and who isn't related to you that they need to take a bath let me know! There's a guy that lives in my town of 300 people. He's really overweight and smells like a rotting vagina or rotten mayonaise mixed with fish guts. Everytime I go into the local store and he's there I have to hold my breath because his odor takes up the whole store. Now that I'm pregnant its even worse......
2006-10-07 00:46:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is desperately in need of some home-health services who would assist her with these things and would let her know how important it is to her health to keep clean. Maybe she is afraid while home alone to take a bath or shower, or perhaps she is embarassed to ask family to help.
2006-10-08 17:11:46 · answer #7 · answered by JenV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Aunt has onset dementia, perhaps Alzheimer's...you need to get involved with your parents and relatives, for this is one of the first signs the person is slipping into a irreversible state. She may not be safe living alone. Good luck
2006-10-06 18:57:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
same problem with my Grand Uncle. Basically you have to tell her out straight that she needs a shower. She'll be annoyed for a bit but will get over it
2006-10-06 19:47:07 · answer #9 · answered by starla_o0 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her to a Doc, and have them put her on Incontence Care.
2006-10-06 21:02:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋