will a mildly autistic child suffer more if they are kept out of mainstream school and tought at home?

Question

my son has aspergis syndrom and although he is keen to learn finds it difficult to mix with children of his own age, he does not seem to be able to deal with confrontation and does not understand when someone is being nasty towards him, on the other hand his home life is difficult as well as he has a brother who refuses to go to school making it a difficult enviroment to teach him in, also i am worried about the social skills that he may be missing

Answer 1

I really don't like home schooling, but knowing and working with Children with Autism since 1994, I know that lots of children with an ASD cannot cope with large groups.

Try to educate him in a mainstream school, if not then look at all the options before home schooling, children need to socialise.

Answer 2

You didn't say how hold he is, and I believe that's the key to making your decision. I have a 4 yr old with mild autism, and I babysit a 2 yr old with the same dx. I would not even consider putting my child in school, and I can't see the one I watch doing it, either. If your child has had a few years in the school system to be able to test the waters, and he is sinking, then pull him out. The idea of an autistic child learning by watching doesn't work with MOST of them. They need one on one instruction on HOW to handle the situation, what should/shouldn't have been done, what does that expression on that person's face mean, etc. They typically will not learn this by observation. They can mimic play, mimic actions, but that's not the same thing as learning the hows and whys, the causes and effects of the other kids' actions, much less their own. These are things that have to be taught to these children, and the schools do not take the time to do this. What usually ends up happening, is while they are mimicking what the other kids are doing they pick up the mean, bad things that the kids are doing, repeat it,and they get in trouble for it because they don't have the social skills to know how to not get caught. Now, if you are just starting with school, I wouldn't, but you might want to give it a few years and see if he is more progressed then most, and will learn on his own. To me, sending them to school is like sending them to slaughter, because the other parents aren't teaching their kids to be compassionate, understanding, and thoughtful of ALL kids in the first place. Socialization should come in the form of small playdates, where you can sit there and teach him how to behave, how to share, how to handle himself when the other kid isn't being nice. When he accomplishes these things, back away and only intervene when necessary. When this is accomplished, add a couple more kids. When that works, let him play at someone else's house for an hour at a time and gradually work up the amount of time he's away, playing on his own. When that can be done with few problems, THEN you can consider something like a sports team or something. But putting him into school without this extra help, is a lot like throwing him into a pool and telling him to swim to other side without first teaching him to swim. As to his brother, if he doesn't want to participate in you teaching the one with autism, then that's fine, you can't do much about it. Just work with one at a time. Remember, with homeschooling, it's only about 2-3 hours a day, so you have plenty of time to work with the other one, too. Feel free to email me if you want, I can give you some info. I homeschool and will be homeschooling my boys all the way through school. I belong to a group on Yahoo for homeschooling moms of special needs kids, and trust me, they really do thrive socially, emotionally, and academically.

Answer 3

Only you can decide what is best for your child. My neice has asbergers syndrom, a mild form of autism, and is in mainstream school. She is coping just fine, but in a couple of years has to go to high school. As you will know, children with this condition do not cope well with change and difficult decisions will need to be made about how her education will continue.

The primary school she attends are extremely supportive in every aspect of her education. Luckily the autistic unit for the area is housed within her primary school and they provide additional support and information for the teachers.

Perhaps this might be an option for you. Check where your local autistic unit is. If it's in a local primary school, this school may be a good option for your child, taught in mainstream school with the additional support when needed.

Attending mainstream school has brought her on in leaps and bounds. She is far more sociable, has friends come round to play and stay over, but there are still problems, it's not a cure, just another routine which she has adapted to.

Answer 4

I wouldn't use the word suffer as I don't believe autistic children do suffer. However as a parent of an Autistic child I would say getting my son into mainstream school was probably the best thing we could have done for him.

My son was diagnosed soon after his 2nd birthday so we had plenty of time to decide on the best course of action. When he was about 2 and a half we managed to get him a place in a specialist classroom at our local children's centre for two afternoons a week. The change in him was amazing, he went from being a child who rarely made any effort to communicate, to using simple words within a couple of weeks.

Although we were still dubious about mainstream schooling we allowed him to go to the local school nursery when he was three. At the time Adam was very hyper and could be extremely disruptive but with the help of a one to one teaching assistant and extremely supportive teachers he began to thrive. The only problem we experienced was that Adam found it hard to cope with the lack of structure at nursery, luckily he had regular visits at nursery from his speech therapist who developed a picture timetable for him to use throughout the day. This worked really well and Adam soon became one of the most popular kids at nursery. The change was amazing, Adam has some odd habits and he learnt to use this to his advantage by entertaining the whole class with his songs and dizzy dances.

He is now in year one and is thriving. He is reading at the level of a 10 year old and doing year 2/3 maths. He has had a few problems with other children taking advantage of his good nature but in general the most significant problems have been with the 2 older autistic children at his school, who do not understand not to hurt Adam and he does not understand that he shouldn't let them. This made me realise that if he had gone to a special school it would be like this every day and he would not have anywhere near as much opportunity to learn social skills as he has. He still gets frustrated and frequently stands up during assembly and tells of the headmaster because assembly should have finished two minutes ago. But this is nothing when you think about how much he has benefitted from his schooling.

I will say that every child is different and the quality of schooling also makes a real difference. We know we are very lucky with our school as we have heard horror stories about other schools in the area who make the parents come in at breaks and dinner to watch their child. There may also be a delay in a statement being drawn up and problems getting the school to stick to the statement. However if you look on the following site:

http://www.ofsted.gov.uk/

you can find out how well the schools in your area perform. Adams' school got an overall rating of good, however they were rated as outstanding for the special needs provision, and deservedly so in my opinion.

I cannot comment on home schooling as it was not something we ever really considered. But I will say that the lack of social contact may be detrimental in the long run. Either way it is your decision and I hope you manage to find a solution which suits you and your child.

Best wishes, Mel.

Answer 5

Each situation is so different. It also depends on how you go about it. I know some people homeschooling their autistic children and it's going so much more better for them at home than at school. These parents aren't sheltering their kids--they are giving socializing time in doses that their children can handle. It's working beautifully.

Your case, however, has other issues. Like why your other son refuses to go to school and how you are dealing with it. What the environment is like at your home--the impression I've gotten from the limited information you shared was that your other son is a 'problem child' and so you feel that having them together would not work.

I would say don't homeschool your autistic son until you've got things worked out better with your other son, until you've got a decent environment at home. Also do some soul searching and see if you really feel willing and able to take it on.

Answer 6

Thank you for the question. I am a mother of an 8 year old boy diagnosed with aspergers. I often ponder this question myself. Am I doing the right thing. He is in a mainstream class with mild interventions and IEP. Yet his frustrations are greater at school and that makes me sad. But that's the point, it makes me sad not him. He enjoys the classes, the opportunity to be part of a choir, play soccer with his peers and many other things. If the day comes when he needs to be pulled out, there is no question I will home school. But that day has not happened yet. I think the regular class represents semi-real -life situations that will test him, and I think that's most important, not the academics for my son. I can simulate and give opportunities for socialization, but they do not represent a true real-life situation which is needed to assist our ill-equipped, sometimes naive youngsters. Good Luck and know you are not alone. I was lying awake at night yesterday wondering if the Bully on the playground would give back his favourite ball tomorrow or not. Just another day in the life with our boy.

Answer 7

This is a very personal decision but I want to tell you that you can be successful home schooling a child with any form of autism. My daughter is autistic and she is doing wonderful being home schooled. She was in public school for 2 years and doing so much better at home. Like I said though it is a very personal decision. Good luck! I also read above and people that try to say home schooled kids are isolated are not very educated themselves about the real world or world of home schooling.

Answer 8

Its a matter of opinion. Here are a slew of articles for you to read from people who are home educating with children who have your child's symptoms and kind of autism:

http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/weblinks/autism.htm

Here is a Yahoo Group specifically meant for those home schooling, considering home schooling or home schooling "part time", a child with Asperger's or High Functioning Autism:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AS-HFA-homeschool/

http://www.naturalchild.org/articles/learning.html

Best of hopes for you and your family. Just remember, if someone has an autistic child that they've only had public educated and are naysaying home schooling without ever having tried it then really, their opinion is nothing more than ignorant drivel based on negative stereotypes. Many are successful either way, it becomes a matter of what YOU feel is best.

Answer 9

He will definitely suffer more socially in my opinion. He needs to be out there with other children learning how to form relationships and get along in the outside world. This may seem harsh but there's gonna come a time when you r not around to take care of him and the more he learns to be independant the more he will be able to cope alone.
My 10 yr old daughter goes to school with a boy with the same condition and they have been joined at the hip since the day they met ( nearly four years ago). They both are adamant they will be together forever and even talk about when they will marry. I honestly believe that being in a mainstream school has conditioned him to survive in the real world whereas if he had been taught at home or been put in a 'special' school the focus may have been more on his differences and he may not have developed the skills to interact in the real world.
I have looked after him and although he has certain obsessions, he is aware of how they affect the people around him and does his best not to let them take control of his life.

Answer 10

My first question would be if he is on an IEP and what extra services he is recieving. As soon as you homeschool a child, most states refuse to provide any further speech, OT and PT. Unless you can afford to pay for these services or are fortunate enough to have an insurance that will, you need to consider the impact on your child of loosing these extras. Also, once the child is removed from the school system, the IEP is no longer valid and the child would most likely have to go through being tested and assesed all over again if you decide to return to public schools. Basically, you'd be back to square one.

Second, I would want to know if you have challanged the IEP and asked to have your child be re-evaluated and possibly placed in a different educational setting. It is the responsibilty of the school district to place your child in the least restrictive placement. Least restrictive does not always mean mainstreaming. It means the enviroment that best serves your child with the least amount of restrictions placed on him. Possibly, your child would do well spending part of his day in a tradtional class and part in a class for children with similar developmental issues. Or he might benefit from a year or two in a specialized enviroment where the teachers are trained in behavioral management issues as well as educational ones. In any case, unless you have exhausted all your legal recourses, I generally advise special needs parents to try and get what they want, and their child needs, from the school before removing him or her.

Next, if your child is not on an IEP, why not??? No matter what you may have been told by the school or your doctor, an IEP is a must for any child with special needs, especially developmental delays and the associated challanges. If your child is not on an IEP, go to the school and formally request he be tested and screened to see if he qualifies for services.

Finally, as you know raising a special needs child is extremely challanging. Educating one is just as challanging and to do both, while trying to teach another child, run a home and still be a Mom is a lot for even the strongest person to take on. I would seriously consider the impact this would have on your own emotional and physical strength, your relationship with your other child (I know my daughter says one of the best parts of homeschooling is she gets a chance to have time with just me, without her brother's needs interrupting), and your relationship with your spouse, If you choose to try and school your asperger';s child, your spouse will undoubtedly need to step in more when he returns home and be there to give you time away so you can unwind. If you have a spouse who work is demanding or has unpredictable hours, is unwilling to help out around the house or is generally not going to be able or willing to step up to the increased demands, then my concern is you will find yourself totally overwhelmed and burn out quickly.

Autism and aspergers are challanging disabilities. The things our kids have the hardest time with, the social and behavioral issues, are the things they need the most help to overcome and the things the schools often have the hardest time placing. There are wonderful programs out there...and it is your right to demand the best your district has to offer. I have worked with many special needs families as a parent liason and mentor. When asked my feelings on home schooling (which I do do for my 12 yr. old daughter , who has learning disabilities), I always advise parents to get the most they can out of the school before pulling the child out. It is the school's legal responsibility and your child's right.

Answer 11

I actually think that might be a wonderful idea for many children with and without disabilities, if the parents are able to arrange for it. Your child can still access any and all services that the public school would provide (speech-language, occupational therapists, taking part in certain classes). Some school districts also have music and art therapists that can work wonderfully with autistic children in helping them to express themselves creatively.

Your child can still get all the socialization they need by taking part in local team sports and clubs that are appropriate for his or her age.