My daughter has a dirty mouth!?

Question

My daughter started school last month, and ever since then, she has said some very rude words. At first it was words such as "your such a dummy" or "you are a dork", I have tried talking to her, but she won't stop. In fact, it has gotten worse. She's now swearing, and calling her teacher stupid. Her teacher and I have spoken about this several times, and we can't seem to get my daughter to stop. I am worrying that she will say that to the wrong person, and will get hit or pushed. Can anybody tell me what to say to her and how to get her to stop?

Answer 1

What has she been watching? Who has she been around that talks like that? You have to pay attention to what she's doing and who she is with and what she is watching! Children pick up what they hear, and see! They don't make those words up. Be very carefull even if you think she's not listening SHE IS!!!!! My mom is a teacher in Day Care and has been for about 27 years! she told me some of the things that these children will say in class! Some are very sexual things and some are very rude! Not saying your doing it but YOU even have to watch what you say around her in her presents! If she's in the house and someone says something she should not repeat, 9 times out of 10 she will say it also because she will think it's ok to do it! You correct the issue before it's a problem! My mother never had problems like that with ANY of her kids! We have heard some stuff but we never repeat it! My mom taught us from the beginning that "you don't repeat everything you hear!" then she said "If your unsure or don't know, you come to meand ask if it's ok". Just be mindful even if she's asleep don't let the tv run or the radio. Cause she might not be asleep!

Answer 2

I know some people will think the soap thing is just wrong, but it worked for me. I still remember the day quite vividly. I was 3 or 4 and told my mom to shut up. I met Ivory, and I never spoke unkindly towards my mother ever since.
It seems pretty obvious that she's picked up the language from students at school. Isolating her from students like one person suggested is just asinine. Your child is responsible for what SHE says, regardless of what she hears and who she is around. If you're not keen on getting bubbly with her, taking away a privilege each time she says an inappropriate word might work. You might want to try the opposite approach by rewarding her for NOT using foul language. A simple behavior chart at home (and at school) with a simple reward each day should do the trick. The reward can be as simple as having extra reading/playing/drawing time at night. An entire week's worth of good behavior would result in a bigger reward like a hot fudge sundae from McDonald's (they're only a buck). Praising her for positive language will still give her attention for what she says.

Answer 3

Just tell her that this kind of language is not acceptable in your home. If she does it again she will be punished for it. Set up a list (in your head) of the level of naughtyness each word or phrase is and set a punishment accordingly.
Not too much for minor offences harsher discipline for the worse ones. Time outs are effective at that age. So is the loss of privilages (TV, music, play time etc.)
Some appropriate punishments could also include going to her room for an afternoon. No freinds over for the day, No phone calls. No computer/ home games.

Don't be discouraged she id trying to find out what her bounderies are. It is your job to set those bounderies (would you let her play in traffic? This is no different.)

It will take about a month to change these behaviors. If you need more help go to Dr.Phil.com or get one of his books on family problems. He cover it all.

Answer 4

A child's environment can influence his/her behavior.I 'am not saying you're not a good parent but perhaps you should re-think about who and what is receiving your child's attention.If mom,dad,and big brother are using nasty language,she is only going to follow in the foot steps.

T.V. can also be a big influence.Make sure you're monitoring what your child is watching.T.V. show have really changed these days. Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network aren't innocent any longer.

Find her most prized possesion such as a barbie doll, a video game(anything she loves to play with)and take it from her,until she has realized she is wrong.Continue to do this until she is coherent of her behavior.If this doen't work then you may have to spank her until she learns.

Answer 5

When my daughter started the dirty mouth phase, I tried everything from time out to taking away her favorite items. The only thing that worked was soap. I touch my finger to the top of the soap bottle. Just a touch so basically she would get the taste but not much in the way of soap. I have her watch me do this. Then I touch it to her tongue. She has to keep it there for 1 minute. Then I help her rinse it out. I explain before I do it and after I do it why it was done. I have had to do this maybe four times since my daughter was 4 years old.

Our parents did it to us and we are still kickin. I can grantee you my mom gave me more that a touch of soap. We had to leave teeth marks. She would also lather up, hold us down and literally scrub our mouths.

My neighbor puts Tabasco sauce in her daughters mouth. You can't rinse that burn off no matter what. I believe it is excessive.

Answer 6

All that is a learned behaviour. Children don't just come up with swears, bathroom words all on their own. She is hearing it from either you, family members, friends or T.V. It all has to stop in your home. She is modelling your behavior, your actions, the way you talk to others. Children are sponges. You have to take some blame for this so now is the time to stop. In our home, we never use foul language, name calling, insults etc.. and our children never talk like that. Next time she uses foul language, give her a warning and tell her you will remove a privilege if she does it again.

Answer 7

I honestly think that you are putting way too much emphasis on it. She is doing it for the attention, and probably likes the attention that she gets from it. Try talking about something else when she says something bad. I am not saying to ignore it. However she also needs to be told over and over that what she is doing/saying is inapropriate. Put her in time-out every time that she lets out a bad word. After a while she will know that the attention she is getting is not the attention that she wanted, and will hopefully stop.

Answer 8

It's time to get serious about the punishment. You are the parent. She only keeps doing it because you have not hit the spot with the punishment.

I can't tell you what works best for your child, but whatever you have done is clearly not enough. As others have said, a non-toxic soap will change that attitude quick, fast, and in a hurry. Other than that, you'll have to find the right button to push and remember, you're the mom! She does what you say or she faces the consequences.

Answer 9

Your daughter is old enough to know right from wrong. Other answers have told you to be careful what you say so she won't repeat it. Others have said monitor what she watches on tv or hears on the radio. No matter where she goes she will always hear things that you don't want her to repeat. You can't go around whispering or turning the tv down so she can't hear. She needs to know that even if she hears someone else say certain things, you still don't expect her to say them and she needs to follow your rules. If not...... she's punished. Plain and simple.

Answer 10

Warn her again and if she does it again, ground her. Tell her that she is grounded until she can prove to you that she is going to be sweet and not have a dirty mouth. Tell her that if you catch her sneaking out or talking that way to ANYONE that she will be grounded until she quits it. If she continues to do it, make her stay home until she doesn't. Trust me...as a teenager, I know that if my mom did this to me, I would definetly quit, mostly because I wouldn't want to stay home my whole life. I would probably be mad at first but I would get over it and start being sweet because thats the key to having a good home life.