BABY or no BABY!?

Question

HI. my boyfriend and i both want kids. like now. but we dont think we can afford it and we want our kids to live comfertably if you no what i mean. so honestly how expensive is having a kid because i see alot of people who are not as well off as we are who have like 3. we have been together for almost 2 years now we are engaged. he wants to wait till he finishes school and by then ill be like 30 and is that to old to start having kids? so i actually have a coupel questions. how expensive is it to have children? is 30 to old to start having kids? and what is a good time frame in between kids? (age differnce between them) any advice will be helpfull thank you!

Answer 1

Kids can definitely cost a lot. I've read in a few places the average cost for a baby is $500/month.

You can still have a child after 30. However, after 30 your chances of having a baby with Down Syndrome go up quite a bit. From 1/2000 to 1/1300

The optimal time for you between babies is 18 months, please read the below article:

Researchers Seek 'Optimal' Pregnancy Interval
By Amanda Gardner
HealthDay Reporter on 04/18/2006


TUESDAY, April 18 (HealthDay News) -- Pregnancies spaced less than 18 months or more than 59 months apart carry a higher risk of low birth weight, preterm birth and small size for gestational age.

"This sort of upholds the conventional wisdom that you want to wait between pregnancies, and you want to plan your pregnancies," said Dr. Jennifer Wu, an obstetrician/gynecologist at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City. "The conventional wisdom is to try to space the births two years apart at least. A family needs to recover physically, emotionally and financially between babies. It needs to be able to devote enough time to each child."

Wu was not involved in the study, which appears in the April 19 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association.

"Having these accumulating studies adds strength to the conclusion," added Dr. Peter Bernstein, an associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Montefiore Medical Center/Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City. Bernstein was on a select panel making recommendations to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for guidelines on preconception care coming out this Friday.

Although experts were hesitant to suggest an optimal interval, Wu said that ideally a couple would want to wait 20 to 40 months between pregnancies, with the earliest interval being nine months after the first delivery. Eighteen months is considered optimal by many.

Previous research had suggested that both short and long intervals between pregnancies increased the rates of adverse outcomes, but it wasn't clear if other factors (for example, socioeconomic status or mother's health) also played a role.

For this study, researchers at Fundacion Santa Fe de Bogota in Colombia conducted a meta-analysis of studies published between 1966 and 2006. Sixty-seven articles met the criteria for inclusion in the study, representing more than 11 million pregnancies.

The evidence showed that babies born to women who had an interval of less than six months between pregnancies had a 40 percent increased risk of preterm birth, a 61 percent increased risk of low birth weight and a 26 percent increased risk of being small for their gestational age, compared to children of mothers with an interval of 18 to 23 months between pregnancies.

Babies born to mothers with pregnancy intervals longer than 59 months had a 20 percent to 43 percent increased risk of these outcomes.

For each month that the pregnancy was shortened from 18 months, the risk for preterm birth, low birth weight and small for gestational age increased by 1.9 percent, 3.3 percent and 1.5 percent, respectively.

For each month that the time between pregnancies was lengthened beyond 59 months, the risk for increased by 0.6 percent, 0.9 percent and 0.8 percent, respectively.

It's not clear why short intervals make for worse outcomes, although several theories have been put forth. One is the maternal nutritional depletion hypothesis, which suggests that the mother doesn't have time to recover from one pregnancy to the next. Nutritional deficiency in the mother means the child doesn't get enough nutrients either.

It's even less clear why extra-long intervals run into more problems. "It may be related to the fact that women who have long intervals are getting older, and women of advanced maternal age have an increased risk of some of these things," Bernstein said.

The paper is, in a sense, an argument for family planning.

"You don't want to do it too soon," Wu said. "You want to plan a pregnancy."

"I don't know that providers are out there telling their patients at their postpartum visit you really should really try and not have another pregnancy for 18 months," Bernstein added. "Health-care providers need to start identifying this as a high-risk problem, and they need to counsel patients about planning."

More information

For more on healthy pregnancies, head to the U.S. National Women's Health Information Center.

Answer 2

your boyfriend needs to finish school, but how about you? do you have a degree? if something happens and you will have to raise a child on your own, do you have a degree that will ensure a good employment for you?
When it comes to how expensive it is, money is something that never will be enough anyway, no matter how long you wait. So I would say as long as you and your boyfriend both have degrees, it would be better to go ahead and have a child now. Children is something the sooner you have the better. 30 is not too late to have a child. My friend delivered when she was 34. If you deliver at 30, then by the time you will be around 50 y.o. you are going to hit two major expenses: 1) your child's college and 2) preparation for your retirement.
Daily expenses for a baby include: 1 pack of pampers, 3 fresh pajamas, baby food, formulas, 4 fresh sheets. Also formula supplies, blankets, shoes and clothes, bathing supplies, development toys, diaper rush cream, cold/cough medicine, monthly doctor visits, crib, stroller, car seat.
If you will want to work or stay employed, you will need to find a babysitter or day care that handle babies. The cost will be around $1000/month (at least). Because of that cost, you might want to consider to be stay at home mom as well for the first 3-4 years. This means your boyfriend will have to become a sole provider. When you will want to go back to work, you will have to find the kind of employment that has a flexible work schedule, so you can take your child to a day care and pick him up on time. Not so many places provide such flexibility. Your day care cost will still be high, around $1000/month. Also, you would want to send your child to a good school when he turns 5. This means you will have to find a place to live in a good area with high rated schools, and also look for employment around that area. The quality of schools will be a deciding factor of where you would have to settledown.
The good time frame would be to have one child, wait about half a year, and get pregnant with another child.
I also want to say, there is never enough money anyway, and people still have children, raise them, and live happily everafter.
Hope this helps/ Best of Luck to you!!

Answer 3

Personally I dont think 30 is too old. I am 28 pregnant with my first child and I am not a lawyer or doctor or anything like that. I have always said I want to have a baby when I can afford it & married "the whole nine" but truthfully things dont always go as planned. To prepare for a baby is hard enough trying to concieve one ya know. I think you & your financee should just go with the flow. Ends will meet sooner than later and with two incomes you guys could do well with a baby. Prepare and save up now since you still have some time til he finish school! I know they are expensive but one way or another it will work out. Personally I think a good age difference is two years apart. Thats how it was for me and my siblings and we were able to go to the same school etc.. thats the type of things I think about...good luck and I hope my advise helped some!

Answer 4

Kids are expensive, I have two so I know, and I'm only 22! 30 is not too late to start a family. You would be a little more mature and you might have more money by then. I think 2-3 years between children is good.

Answer 5

30 is NOT too old, seriously wait until he finishes school, has a good career. and a nice home. once you start having kids all the nice things for you go out the window, because its all about them.. if you want to take a vacation , do it now. Kids are pretty expensive.... I have 3, and if you figure 5 prs of pjs each, x 3.. when i go to buy 15 prs of pjs alone its $150 - 200 (with a good sale!). shoes, omg. costs me a ton. I cant remember the last time i boughtMYSELF a nice pair of shoes however ;).


another thing, you really should get married before having kids.... really. most people seem to like about 2 yrs between their kids.. ..

Answer 6

I have 4 children..ages 20, 12, 6 and 18 months. All girls and i would have to say to far apart in age. I have had a child in my early 20's late 20's mid 30's and at 40. I would say my 30's was by far the best age. as far as how expensive are children...lets see....diapers..clothes, shoes, medicine, childcare, healthcare , toys, babywipes,,, do I need to go on...then the real fun...COLLEGE... my 20 yr old cost us 25 thousand dollars this yr alone in college expenses.. My advice enjoy being a young adult there is plenty of time to be a parent.

Answer 7

Well I can't really tell you how expensive it is, just depends on where you live and how spoiled you want your kid to be. 30 is not to old to start. From a medical stand point you should wait at least 18 months in between pregnancies to give your body enough time to recoup and build up enough nutrients for the second baby.

Answer 8

My wife and I have 3 kids. There is about 2 years between each one. There is no way to figure out how much having a kid would "cost". If u try and save money, prices on everyday living keep going up and up. The more u try and save, the higher prices go so u will never "save up" for a child.

Answer 9

Kids are expensive. But you figure it out. I mean what if you accidently got pregnant, you would have to figure it out. I dont think that 30 is to old to have kids and i think it would be wise for your b/f to finish school if thats what he wants to do. But I wouldnt NOT have a kid becasue of the money. It all works out it really does. Good luck

Answer 10

Well people say a lot of things about how expensive it is but I haven't spent much at all, you get most things passed down or from Ebay, the only things you need to buy new are car seats and cot mattresses. If you are breastfeeding then its even cheaper!
It only starts getting expensive as they get older and want more things and care about how new they are etc...so you have plenty of time to get money:)