Please, i need help. I am 21 years old and have been dating this guy (23) for 2.5 years. I am totally in love with him, but sometimes i wish i could change him. I wish I could turn him into a genuinly "nice" guy. His biggest deal is that he lies to me, but at the same time he could be the GREATEST guy ever. I love him cuz he takes me out, spends a lot of time with me, and makes me laugh. I am in grad school so the two days ago I had midterms and i told him he couldn't come over the nite before because I needed to study (i told him this weeks ago). He comes over to my apartment cuz he needs to use my internet (his apt doesn't have it) and i said that he needed to go cuz i need to study. He ended up having like a temper tantrum, ripped up papers, threw a pillow at me, and the next day he though I needed to appologise, not him for kicking him out. But i do love him, and im at the point that I want to get married soon. What should i do? I don't think I can imagine myself w/o him
2006-10-06 08:59:08 · 18 answers · asked by chloe114 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Break up with him now. He will be dangerous.
2006-10-06 09:02:28 · answer #1 · answered by russell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if the selfish lil' bassturd has no consideration of the fact that you needed to study and asked nice that he not come over and then gets violent when you tell him he needs to go, then you need to get rid of him period. This is just the tip of the iceberg and it is obvious that he is not real concerned about what is important to you. If you are 21 and in grad school, you have a very bright future in front of you, don't mess it up by tying up with some hot head that does not value you or what is important to you.
2006-10-06 16:05:10 · answer #2 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do some re-evaluating. Is this a person you could see yourself with for the rest of your life? He's a grown man...There's someone out there that will fit you exactly the way you want. You're still young and have time to experience life. He sounds a little imature. He should be more understanding of your needs. But, it could be something minor that he could get over or learn to control. I would say think about the big pic and if you can't see yourself being able to deal with his pettiness then I would move on. It's difficult to let go of someone who you've been with for a long period of time just because you are comfortable with them. Its definitely not going to be easy if you decide to move on.
2006-10-06 16:09:18 · answer #3 · answered by B U Tiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is time to move our love someplace else. Sounds like the BF has power & control issies. It's highly doubtful that this will ever change. So unless you can learn to "like" the lies and enjoy his temper tantrums, it would be best to move on. It'll be painful for you, but, you shall be better off in the long run. You need to think of your future.
2006-10-06 16:03:34 · answer #4 · answered by Paul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reread your question.
He lies to you...how could he be the greatest guy ever?
He has temper tantrums....children have temper tantrums, grown men don't.
He throws things at you....a precursor to abuse.
You've invested 2 1/2 years in this relationship. It will be easier to get out now as opposed to 10 years and 2 kids from now.
2006-10-06 16:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by sunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem that could exist now is if he has a temper like he showed, what happens if he vents that temper on you, you dont want to be the focal point if he decides the next step is to hit you. I would distance yourself from him and ask a professional if he needs counseling for his temper. If you love him, you might have to let him know amongst others that since you are uneasy about his temper, you might have to let him go.
2006-10-06 16:07:06 · answer #6 · answered by Mike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is selfish and inconsiderate. He will not change. His behavior is completely unacceptable. Believe me, love is not enough to make this work. Now is the best time to break your own heart, on your own terms - otherwise he's going to break it when he feels like moving on. And you could end up with a broken marriage and a 2 year old that doesn't know what's going on. I learned the hard way
2006-10-06 16:07:16 · answer #7 · answered by Jan S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DEAR GOD. People break up for much less than this, honey. GET OUT OF THIS NOW. The more you tolerate that sort of out-of-control behavior, the worse it will get. Men like him are excellent at manipulating... obviously if you have stayed with this guy as long as you have, you are not being completely honest with yourself about how "happy" or "healthy" your relationship is. Respectful men DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, throw things or destroy property.
DUMP HIM, AND GO SOME PLACE SAFE.
2006-10-06 16:07:31 · answer #8 · answered by stillstanding 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should. I cant imagine a life with him. He needs to grow up. He isnt repecting you(time) He knows that grad school requires a lotof your time. He could have gone to a friends house or the public libary.
2006-10-06 16:02:58 · answer #9 · answered by justturning40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the guy seems to have a temper and thats not a good sign. But he seems to love you that it bothers him not to be spending time with you. Maybe you should try living in together before actually marrying him and see how that goes. You should also try talking to him and tell him the things that bothers you. Good Luck...
2006-10-06 16:03:35 · answer #10 · answered by wittlewabbit 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He. Won't. Change.
Get this through your head and you will be far happier. You can live without him. It'll be hard, but you can do it. You need to realize that you are worthy of being treated like a woman: with respect and dignity.
2006-10-06 16:03:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋