What does it mean when someone describes her son as "a good kid when he wants to be"...?

Question

At lunch, I overheard this expression used by a loud-talking lady on a cellphone ahead of me in line, and I got to wondering.
I'm not certain, but I believe that every time I've heard this used, it turns out that the kid in question has very poor behavior all the time, not just when he wants to. What do you think of the expression? Do you use it? What does it really mean?

Answer 1

The loud-talking lady on her cellphone should be your clue. :) People don't raise their children with any kind of self-discipline anymore and then chalk it up to their children's personalities rather than their own faults as parents. As a teacher, I can't say that I've ever used that saying. I might say "He's a sweet kid, but...." Everyone's a good kid when they WANT to be. The goal for every parent should be to have their kid want to be a good kid ALL the time.

Answer 2

Yes, I have used this expression. It means the kid knows how to act, but chooses not to act in the right manner. I have one of those! I have 4 children and my oldest is a problem child. He can control his behavior with the right meds, but I think he enjoys the attention he gets for misbehaving. I could usually tell when he "wanted" to be. If he was being rewarded or watched by a certain person, he would act right and not say things that were out of the way, but, if left alone with his peers, he was always trying to start something. This is definitely a behavior that needs to be controlled as my son is now in a juvenile center where someone else is trying to help him to learn to behave in a proper manner.

Answer 3

I believe that the kid has alot of poor behavior, but has knowledge of how to behave in a civil matter. But of course the kid in question would rather choose the "easy" way out. I bet the kid in question could behave in a good manner if he chose to because he has the knowledge of how to, but chooses otherwise most of the time.

I have custody of my brother. He is 17. and I am 24. I often think like this. But as far as me saying it, I would be saying it to protect his bad behavior. Witch by the way is a human response to protect family, friends, and anyone who may need to be stuck up for.

Answer 4

I'm with Manny. It means they are making an excuse for their bad child, and probably always will. It's called "Not my kid syndrome"
This is the parent that will be at the principals office to defend their child that beat someone up so bad they are in the hospital. This is the child that since Kindergarten has had the comment "does not take responsibility for his/her own actions"
The child's behavior won't change until the parents does.

Answer 5

It means the child is the one in control instead of the parents. The kid is intelligent enough to know right from wrong but he or she decides if and when to behave or misbehave. In other words, this parent has a spoiled brat and doesn't know what to do about it.

Answer 6

This term means that the kid is naughty, but if he is after anything in particular off his parents he starts being well behaved in order to get his owm way.

Answer 7

LIL this expression is used usually for a bad kid that acts sweet and innocent only yo get what he wants or when it is convenient for him

Answer 8

I think it means he's a good kid but he acts up a lot. You know how a lot of kids are very smart and sweet but they don't always show it cause it makes them look weak around their friends...my nephew. He's the best but when he's with his boys he tries to be tough and it usually gets him into a lot of trouble.

Answer 9

It means that they acknowledge in a nice way that they have no control over the kid anymore. It is a nice way of putting it.

Answer 10

IT MEANS THAT HE ONLY BE GOOD AT THE TIMES THAT HE KNOW HE CAN GET SOMETHING OUT OF THE DEAL. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, HE IS A TERRIBLE KID. THE PARENT IS JUST IN DENIAL.