was this a jerk move??

Question

9 weeks ago at the beginning of school i asked this girl out, she said no.

3 days ago she asked me out, i said no so i wouldnt seem desperate.

but i really like her still so much. and i mean really like her.. like i would run on fire to be with her and when shes not looking, i wish i could freeze time, so i can stare at her.

was this a jerk move?

i think i killed both our chances at being friends or starting a relationship.. =[

Answer 1

No way man! You should've joked with her--made her look like she should've been able to figure out that you are great and she should've never turned you down--something like, 'you finally realized I'm worth the trouble'.

You are allowed to change your mind, even though you aren't a woman. Since it was three days ago, you didn't blow it unless you publicly humiliated her when you turned her down.

All you have to do now is try again--start talking with her, wait for her to say something attractive or interesting (or bait her into it), and then say you guess you were wrong about her--give her a compliment and say you are going to ask her out. Tell her you were into her looks at first, and she was right to turn you down, and that you've been looking for a woman who was better than hot--one that has brains, is funny, or whatever, but you were wrong, she's got all that too. Then ask her to join you someplace low-key and fun (that you might have gone to without her anyway), and then she's your girlfriend.

Answer 2

That sucks, my kid has the same dilemma, some guy asked her out in High School and she said no, but now he's becoming a famous rapper and -what a bummer. Just give it time how would the relationship work if you don't. If she is a good enough person she will realize you both made mistakes and she will believe in second chances. Ego has no place in real relationships. Good luck,
P.S. nothing turns a girl on more than knowing they can humble a man.

Answer 3

Maybe you could try to explain it to her. Maybe things have changed for her and she realizes that you are someone she wants to spend time with.
I think it was wrong to say no because you should not deny yourself being with her just because you don't want to seem desperate. It's been nine weeks since you asked her out. How is waiting 9 weeks going to seem desperate.

Just tell her you would like to go out with her and your sorry for rejecting her. Hopefully she won't say "get lost" lol Good luck to you!

Answer 4

No, it wasn't. . . she obvious said no to you for a reason. Try to find out what it was, but trying not to seem desperate is not a bad thing. If she was just playing hard to get, then why is she now asking you out? Plus, remember, a lot of times the chase can be exciting.

Don't give up just yet.

Answer 5

yes it was a dumb move, but just ignore it. its a thing of the past, move on. find out if she is with anyone, if not, then go and ask her again. i would do that if i were you. if you had the balls to ask her the first time, you will have no problem asking her a second time, because now you know she wants to get with you, you will have more confidence.

Answer 6

i think so...you gave up the chance. Well its like if you liked her and asked her out 9 weeks ago then i totaly wouldn't have seemed desperate if you said yes. I think you should talk to her and tell her how you really feel....

Answer 7

guys are so dumb.....

if a girl asks you out say yes. Now shes going to be hurt you said no. you made a dumb decision you put pride before what ya want. go apologize and ask her out. If she says yes make the date a good one. you need to make up for being a chump

Answer 8

well i probably would have done the same thing as you because it hurts to be rejected. no one likes that feeling and if they do then there's something seriously wrong. lol. but anyways, why don't you just talk to her? ask her why she turned you down and then 3 weeks later decides to ask you out. maybe she has a reasonable answer.

Answer 9

Dude - sounds like you are young and know less than nothing about women. Be confident yet not cocky, cool & aloof but not mean. And yes - that was a jerk move.

Answer 10

well if i were you i would go back to her, and say that you were out of it when you said no, and that you really would like to go out with her. She probably did the same thing saying no to you because she didnt want to look desperate either, but relized it was a dumb move and came back to you! good luck!