My mom passed away june 14th of this year.My step father moved in with me that same night because he can not take care of hiself.Since then I have moved from Ohio to Texas.Step father has compared me to my mom in everyway possible.The comparing is possitive but it had got to a point where I had to change dinner from 5pm to 6pm because I heard 20 times a day that Im (a good girl) because I have dinner done at 5pm just like my mom did.He sits around and tells me things like if my mom was to eat mushrooms right now it would make her sick because she dont like them.He sometimes dont take his diabetic pill saying he stopped taking them to be with my mom.He told my 15yr old last week that his wife is alive but his sister is dead when its the other way around.Im lost at what to do with him.A nursing home is not a option home for him and would only make his life worst.He cant go live with his sister because she dont want him.What can I do?
2006-10-06 08:20:31 · 10 answers · asked by darlene100568 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Also my kids lost a cousin in March,a puppy in May and a uncle 1 week before my mom passed away.I have not had no time to mourn.Had to be strong for the kids and step father,Im concern that step fathers strange behavior will upset the kids.They are ages 16,15,14,10,9 and 22 months old.
2006-10-06 08:23:31 · update #1
Whoa...could you possibly have any more things to worry about? You are a very strong person it sounds like. You have a lot on your plate, as they say.
Have you thought about contacting the senior center? I know ours has all types of classes that they can enjoy. They usually cost nothing to very little. If you are not able to pay I'm sure they would not charge you. There is also adult day care. They take the adult for the day so that the family members get a break.
I have to say I admire you for taking on your step-father obviously that wasn't something you had to do. Even if you feel like it was. You may want to find a support group for yourself too, you sound very stressed out. I don't know how you do all that. I guess you just do what you have to do. You're doing a great job, he's going through a tough time and it may be taking a toll on his body and mind. You might want to have that checked too.
There is help out there, you just need to look for it. You need time to just breathe. I don't think you get that.
2006-10-06 08:40:48 · answer #1 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
See if you can afford a nurse to come into your home and take care of him while you are out. This way you get a break from it all and he has another person to chat with. Or maybe you can get him involved with senior activities in your community. Do you have a senior center he can hang out at for a couple hours a day. This would keep him pre occupied with something other then your mother to think about. And hopefully the excessive talks about her to you will slow.
2006-10-06 08:26:31 · answer #2 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the confusion and the "good girls" and all are pretty good indications that he may be slipping into alzheimers. It's good of you to want to care for him, but I would start looking into nursing homes. I understand it's a hard decision to make, but when people get deep into their alzheimers they need 24/7 care and trained people to do it for them. They often will hurt themselves unintentionally or wander off and get lost. You have children to worry about. He has a while before it gets that bad, but start NOW figuring out where he's going to go next. You might be surprised at how "homelike" a lot of these places actually are and you can always go visit him every day.
2006-10-06 08:26:52 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might want to make an appointment with a Social Services person for your area to see what options you might have. Why would a Nursing Home make his life worse? He sounds like his mind is going, and may not even know that he is in one. If he does have dementia, it will be almost impossible for you to care for him. He could go for a walk, and NOT know how to get home, etc. If I were you, I'd either talk to Social Services, or his Doctor. Best Wishes to you.
2006-10-06 08:30:35 · answer #4 · answered by Just Curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say
I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way!
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all!
By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra
this, to your stepfather.
2006-10-06 08:23:19 · answer #5 · answered by Cobra 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to get him involved with in other things out side of your home, All so look in to boarding homes for older people then he could be with people his own age, There are many good boarding homes that plan activities for older people to keep there mind occupied. In the end it will be better for all concerned.At 80 my Mother did volunteer work and she loved it..
2006-10-06 08:36:03 · answer #6 · answered by larry B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just in mourning right now. Reality hasn't hit him yet. He's reminiscing thru you about his wife because of the things you do that keeps reminding him of her. It's going to take a while don't no how long but be there for him he needs you.
2006-10-06 08:26:28 · answer #7 · answered by TJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so sad. I wish I knew what to tell you. He just sounds so confused. and he misses her. You have got to be a great person to help take care of him in his condition. You may consider taking him to a Dr and have his sugar cheked and have him tested for alheimers too. Good Luck, and God Bless you.
2006-10-06 08:25:42 · answer #8 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe contact social services in your city, a clergyman could probably help you connect with the right people to help.
2006-10-06 08:23:34 · answer #9 · answered by jan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take care of him and may GOD bless you
2006-10-06 08:26:31 · answer #10 · answered by evening_dewpoint 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋