I have been dating this guy for almost a year now. He just got out a marriage a little over a year ago. Talking to him last night he said to me, he is scared of getting hurt or hurting anyone else. He also said, he got set up with a blind date, he must have been interested because he asked me how I would feel about that. And if I would still talk and "hang out" with him. He told me he wants to be sure I am the one for him. And he is just scared. Is this just a line, or is he really interested in me?
2006-10-06 07:55:47 · 45 answers · asked by wrthyofluv 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, if he got out of a marriage a year ago - and you started dating him around the same time... dont you think its only fair for him to explore his options.
You should be thankful he is up-front and honest with you. He could have gone behind your back and dated this girl with out even talking to you.
It could go one of two ways. 1) he can realize what he has with you is what he truly wants and dating other woman has lost its appeal. or 2) he can ask you for some space to date other women.
and while #2 sounds bad - at least it has the potential for a restart after he gets out there and gets some dating out of his system - as apposed to him sneaking around behind your back and ending the relationship on a bad note.
My advice is tell him that you trust him and that he can do what ever he feels he needs to do.
and remember- if hes out there dating .... you're out there dating. seeing you with another man can have a strong influence on his long term decisions. so even if you know hes the only man for you - go out on a date or two and give him a taste of his own medicine.
2006-10-06 08:08:30 · answer #1 · answered by AJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you guys met not long after his marriage ended, right? If he didn't ask you how you would feel about that, I don't think he would care. But he did. He apparently is not sure about his life and wants to make sure before he makes any commitments.
Be careful though, don't let him pull you along and if he sleeps with other women, forget it. It seems you've put your heart into this, so watch his actions, his behavior, listen to his tone, his voice. Look hard into his eyes. Eyes are the keyhole to the soul. Did you two talk every night, how often did you see each other in a week? Pay close attention as to how much he stays away and avoids you, or how much he calls and sees you. I wish you the best of luck, really I do.
2006-10-06 08:13:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
More than likely it's still too early for him to get serious again with someone. Did he get married at a young age? If so, then maybe he feels as though he needs to "live" a little before he "settles down" again if you know what I mean. Obviously his first marriage didn't work out, so he wants to make sure that doesn't happen again. I would suggest not pushing the commitment phase yet until he is truely ready for a serious relationship. He'll let you know when he's ready. Let him "live" a little and if he's the right guy for you and vice versa, then he'll come back with open arms. Good luck!
2006-10-06 08:12:44 · answer #3 · answered by Rogodogo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You say you've been dating this guy for about 1 year. Is he interested? Yes. But what is he interested in? I don't know. Long term relationship? Probably not.
He's afraid to get hurt or hurt someone again? Tell him to get over himself. In any relationship there is pain both given and received. It is the forgiveness and reconciliation that should come afterwards that shows the love and commitment that the couple have for each other.
Maybe that is your answer. He is not in love with you. If, after 1 year, he is not in love with you and wants to see others, I suggest that you do leave this relationship in your past and move on.
This may not be what you want to hear but it is the truth.
2006-10-06 08:04:13 · answer #4 · answered by Bud 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I could see where he doesn't want to go through another divorce some day, so he wants to make sure that he has checked out all possibilities. But, if the two of you have been in an exclusive relationship for a year, I think I would move on. You can't put a time limit on getting over a divorce, but after a year, he's wanting to go on this blind date. Yeah, move on.
2006-10-06 08:03:23 · answer #5 · answered by ABob 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The man is just kind of lost right now. Divorce sucks no matter who you are. You expect your whole life to be with that person and then it is over, he doesn't know if it is his fault or her fault.
He really just doesn't want to make the same mistake again. He probably really likes you, but he wants to know for sure and date around before he gets serious again. Divorce can be major baggage. His ex-wife was probably a perfect 10 in his eyes when they got married, and look what happend. He might think the same thing about you, but realize he has made that mistake before and doesn't want to end up hurting you our himself. Give him space, let him figure it out, don't completly shut him out.
Try going on a date with someone else ?
2006-10-06 08:03:47 · answer #6 · answered by tightlies 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's dated you for a year and he went on a blind date?
Honey, dump him. The fact is that he probably liked that blind date a lot but he's not sure where it's gonna go so he's feeding you a bunch of bull just in case the blind date girl doesn't pan out and you would still be around to fall back on.
Disgusting, but hey....
2006-10-06 08:02:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You really can't tell honestly by what he said. Just by the way he said it, it can go either way. He could be telling the truth because he did just get out of a marraige recently and he does not want to get hurt (again). On the other hand if his swagger is strong then it can be a line. The only way you can look at it is by the way he acted and is acting now towards you. Just judge his actions thats all. Hopefully things work out, good luck.
2006-10-06 08:04:18 · answer #8 · answered by DLB 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him to get lost, he's just not into you and wants to have his cake and eat it too. He obviously doesn't love you, or he wouldn't even consider going on that date. Him saying about the hurting, its a cop out and bulls...t. Face it girl, he's not the one. Break it off now, it's been long enough that he's been leading you down the garden path and its time to give him the boot. It will hurt like hell for a long while, but it's better now, than wasting your time for another year, because you know in your heart, that the end will happen someday, it inevitable.
Good Luck.
2006-10-06 08:01:47 · answer #9 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-12-08 09:39:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋