My boyfriend was invited to a barbeque by mutual friends of ours ..well we were both invited. But he called me and said he was going to go by himself because we didn't have a babysitter, he didn't even ask me if i wanted to find a babysitter. Which automatically makes me think "ok..he wants guy time" which is cool. so i found a babysitter and made some plans to have some long overdue girl time well when he found out i was all of a sudden invited, My question: 1. Why now does he want me to go along. 2.Why cant he just say I need some guy time
2006-10-06 07:55:30 · 22 answers · asked by slightlyjayded 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think the fact that i am not married and have a child is irrelevent I am a good parent. But I appreciate your two cents. And if i have offended you by the fact that i had premarital sex ...well....were in the 20 th century. Hello!!!
2006-10-06 08:03:52 · update #1
His friend asked him if the both of us wanted to come, he told his friend that only he was going to come...then my boyfriend asked me to come. sorry if I worded it wrong
2006-10-06 08:06:22 · update #2
also we live together and dont get out much so i dont think hes cheating on me
2006-10-06 08:07:17 · update #3
Maybe at first he thought you wouldn't be able to find a babysitter, so he figured he would go by himself for a little while to get some time alone and then when you found a sitter to go have "girl time" he decided that since you DID find a sitter it would be a good opportunity to have COUPLE time. Be happy.
2006-10-06 07:58:48 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I see some serious red flags, honey!
First, he makes decisions for you.
When you made some decisions of your own, he suddenly considered you "invited." This tells me that he wants to keep tabs on you.
These are signs of abuse. Yes, the ugly word. You probably either don't see it as that or don't want to see it.
Look back on your relationship. How often does he make decisions for you? Does he have to know where you are and who you're with all the time? Does he get nervous when you leave the house without him?
This may seem like a small incident, but I have the feeling you're going to see a lot more incidents and on a much higher level if you just let it pass. I highly recommend some counseling.
2006-10-06 08:06:59 · answer #2 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys don't think ,it does mean that he didn't want you to go with him in the first place. He don't want to leave you alone he knows that went you have the kid no one is flirting with you.(maybe) He didn't want any guy time he, just didn't want the problem of looking for a babysitter.He knows that if both of you are looking for a babysitter then it's that chance both of you may not go.
2006-10-06 08:19:37 · answer #3 · answered by sharon j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you're reading too much into it. You know it's not uncommon for men to make a decision (i.e. she can't go, she's gotta watch the kids. I'll just go by myself.) without thinking things through. Often there are no ulterior motives, just a single sightedness.
I can tell you I've been guilty of this myself. Get an invitation to something that I want to go to. Wrongly assume my wife can't go and decide to go by myself. Find out I'm wrong and my wife can go. I'm just as happy!
2006-10-06 08:04:39 · answer #4 · answered by Paul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be alot of reasons for his behavior. Why not get down to the bottom of it and come right out and ask him.
Maybe he's the control freak who thinks he is allowed to enjoy his time, but once you make plans, oh no........you can't do that!!
You don't make sense here............one minute your saying you were both invited, but at the end, you say all of a sudden you were invited..........Which is it? YOU JUST THOUGHT you should automatically be invited or what??
2006-10-06 08:02:16 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he wanted you to go all along.. he just didn't think you'd find a babysitter at all...
But if you wanna know the whole story, you should just go and ask him honey ;)
Oh and somebody said it's wrong to have a kid outside marriage... IT'S NOT!!! WE'RE IN THE 21ST CENTURY, GEEZ... it's a personnal choice, that's all...
They should mind their own business cause that's not the point at all here!
2006-10-06 08:00:20 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ AnGeL oF cLaRiTy ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two don't communicate very well. I also wouldn't be partial to him 'telling' me that *HE is going and I get to stay home??!! My dh and I discuss these types of things. There have been times when we couldn't get a sitter and/or I didn't feel like going and he still went, which is fine, but it was decided by the two of us.
You should ask him about his change of heart too. Trying to second guess his reasons for his behavior is never going to bring you satisfaction or enlightenment.
2006-10-06 08:30:29 · answer #7 · answered by Dragonfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should ask him. It sounds like you might be reading more into the situation that what might actually be there. At any rate, communication between two partners in a relationship is always a good thing.
2006-10-06 07:59:10 · answer #8 · answered by Angela B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably just wanted you to stay home but the minute he found out you were going out he wanted you to be by his side. Some guys are just selfish like that...I say talk to him about it and tell him how you feel..
2006-10-06 07:59:07 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Thang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you questioning the fact he wants to spend time with you?
Go the bbq and enjoy it and stop over analyzing it.
2006-10-06 07:58:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋