Ok. Parental roles?

Question

I pretty much know the answers I'm going to get but here goes....

Sahm's... Does that mean it's your job to raise the children and the other half basically brings home the money and doesn't have the child burden?

Working Moms.. Is it still your responsibility to raise the children or do you get 50/50 help?

I'm just curious. I work 3rd shift part-time and I take care of my kids and my friend doesn't work at all just takes care of the kids and the family dynamic is polar opposite so I just wanted to see others answers towards this.

I just wanted to add after I re-read this.. my friend doesn't work outside the home.. I know taking care of kids all day is work.. so sorry I hope I didn't offend anyone that's not how I meant for it to come out.

Answer 1

My wife and I are the parents of twin 2 yr. olds. She works, and gets home at 7:15pm-7:30pm.

I'm left to get them off to day care, pick them up at 5:10, bring them home, feed them, change them, and try to get some freelance work down 'till sometimes 2:00am.

Somebody's got to be the primary care-giver, and I guess it's me. She sez that she looks forward to Mondays anyway.

Answer 2

I am a working Mom and I raise my daughter alone (single Mom. Dad split not too long after the divorce). Yes, I do have help from my family who watches her after school until I get home, but I raise her. I set the rules, enforce them, feed her, nurture her, and do everything I can to make sure she turns out to be a happy and healthy woman. I have seen SAHM's that have much worse behaved children than mine. She follows the rules and is an over all great kid, and smart to boot. She appreciates everything, knowing Mom works hard to get things for her and take care of her. She doesn't lack attention, because when I am home from work, I am all hers. I still go out and have fun one night on the weekends. I need a break once a week from the daily grind, a time that I can go let go of my worries. And, it isn't the working Mom thing that makes family dynamics different. All families are different regardless of the working issue. It's just how people are.

Answer 3

What role does your significant other play in the household duties and children raising? I think that who does what should depend on what both people in the relationship agree on.

My husband and I take a 50/50 role in raising the kids though I do most of the parenting. After all I am with them 24/7. My husband works and I go to school and do everything else. We do this because we agreed on it.

Answer 4

SAHM have a job.......to raise a child in the parameters of while other people work...even if that includes a short amount of socialisation for the child...ie a few hours in childcare per week so they get to meet other children.

It doesnt mean the other half has no input outside his/her work hours....just as if you were working fulltime. He/she has equal input out of the 8 hour per day work schedule.

If the other partner doesnt want to share the raising...you have to wonder if you are doing this all on your own..and if so, why? Parenting is a job....that is easier to chuff off to a caretaker....who is getting paid for that. Being a working mum is easier because you get time out from the main event..so dont sell yourself short OR put the fathers job above that because its BS. Most men WANT to work....for their own sake, not families...a power trip, getting out of playing mum....they'd prefer to continue being a big kid over sharing responsibilty.

If you have a man that actually wants kids and wants to help raise the....they will want equal time with the children and wont look for options out...like that dick Dr Rey in 90210...whose wife is anorexic due to not knowing how to parent and getting nada real support from him but she chose him knowing this....so where do you go then?.

Answer 5

It is both the Mother and Father's job to take of the children

I am a working Mom and my husband also works we both share the parenting role 50/50. This should not be the case just for working parents as the saying goes It takes two to tango

Answer 6

I think that it is all up to the family, or the couple. When I was married we did everything 50/50. He helped with everything at home. And he spent alot of 1 on 1 time with the kids. But I have friends that the man does NOTHING but work. I think this schould be talked about before you have kids, but it can be talked about after. You as a couple have to talk and decide on what will be done by whom. If you are feeling overwhelmed, tell him. That is what a relationship is all about!!

Answer 7

I work full time. My child is 4. She goes to daycare 2 days a week and my Father-In-Law babysits 3 days a week. When my husband and I are home, we raise them 50/50. We take turns making dinner, cleaning up after dinner, laundry, bath time for our daughter, we both play with her and spend time with her. Some nights i'm alone doing this because my husband is in school a few nights a week earning his masters.

I do most of my intense cleaning on the weekends.

Answer 8

I think it's whatever you and your SO decide. You've got to TALK about your roles and what help you need/want. Most of my Mom friends just take over ALL the home/Mom duties and work outside the home without talking to their SOs and then they get resentful.

I work outside the home full-time. When I went back to work after having our second child, I told my husband that I NEED his help 50/50 or I'm not working. He was cool with that and it works for us.

Answer 9

depends on the partnership.

as a stay at home (married) mom, i still deserve a coffee break and vacation somewhere in there. so yes, no matter what the circumstances, my husband still has to be a father and participate in the childrens day to day upbringing. However house chores are still my responsibility to get done. if i get too busy doing other things, him pitching in to pick up any slack is mandatory. he's not allowed to cook though. i hate anyone in my kitchen!

as for a full time working (married) mother, whoever has the kids, the other has the house chores until the kids are asleep.

for single full time working mom, she's doing it all.

Answer 10

Parental roles can be in any form or fashion as long as both partners are happy with their roles. And as long as the children are being taken well care of.

I am a traditional 1950's kind of wife, I stay home and take care of the homefront, he goes to work.
But it did not start out that way. He was going to be the house husband but I got very sick with pregnancy and he had to go to work and I had to stay home.

Answer 11

I am a stay at home mom. I think I take about 85-90% of the parenting role in the house. I also take care of the house and do almost all of the cooking.