How Can i turn him down without hurting his feelings??

Question

This boy at school really likes me

i dont like him that way

his friends say he wants to ask me out

i dont want to go out with him

i dont want to hurt his feelings by being rejected because i know how that feels

PLEASE HELP MEEE

this guy has been my friend since kindergarten

i would go out with him bc i really want a bf but hes not the guy i like and every one thinks he is weird but hes not

i feel really bad

should i go out with him so i dont hurt him

bc he is a really great guy but every one thinks hes weird

i guess i would only turn him down bc of wat other people think...which isnt good

but i cant thinkof us like that i guess we could start off slow

idk

im so confused

Answer 1

Wow...
Honey, you're gonna hurt his feelings no matter how much sugar you put on your "no"
He's known you since kindergarten, what do ya think?
But if you insist, then do this : Go out with him!! Have fun but no sex. Do that a couple of times then tell him " look, I really like you, you're funny and all, but now I realise I like you better as a friend and not as a boy-friend, I don't want to ruin what we have together...but hey, I know this girl....."
Might work.

Answer 2

You have no control of his feelings. If a guy is rejected, it doesn't matter how it happens it is gonna suck. All you can say is that you don't feel that way about them or are looking for something else.
He will probably ask what it is you don't like. Honesty is a bold move when answering this but it is better to give him something to work on than no reason at all, because then he will just come up with a reason that eases his mind and it will probably be false.

The best thing you can say is that he is too nice, and that you need something more exciting or more of a chase. I don't know, that is typically how it goes. I wish some of the girls I asked out when I was younger would have said that.


Good Luck

Answer 3

If you guys are friends... then be honest with him and sit down and talk to him.. Tell him his friends have been telling you that he was going to ask you out and get the truth from him that way you know its not a rumor going around. Then tell him your feelings toward him. In the end it would be a lot better that way both of you don't get hurt.

Answer 4

It is impossible... but always be honest... explain to him how much you value him as a long time friend... and how you would hate to ruin a beautiful friendship by trying to turn it into something else... because no matter how many times you say it... it is almost impossible to go back to being friends once you have stepped out of bounds...

Answer 5

The easiest way to avoid hurt feeling is lie. It sounds bad but it will spare his feelings and you won't feel guilty. just tell him that you can't have a relationship with anyone because you're too busy or whatever excuse fits best. Good luck!

Answer 6

No matter what you say to turn him down his pride is still going to get hurt and besides that he'll feel bad about himself, don't date him and brake up with him because if you do and don't like him he'll feel bad about hiself! So my advice is say that you ain't lookin for someone right now or that you just like him as friends! Good Luck~

Answer 7

It's going to hurt but you need to let him know that it's cool if you are friends but nothing more than that when he ask you out and don't do it in front of a lot of people.

Answer 8

No No no no you got it wrong !
Only he can allow to be hurt.
You have not excluded being friends.
Just 'don't want to go out with him'.
Be honest, are you really going to REJECT him?
We all need friends we can trust.
Friends from K-grade No No - - - clear your head.
Be bold " walk straight into his chest and hug him" "say your buddies say you want more... BUT we are just friends... lets keep it that way, please" How could that hurt?

Answer 9

I'm sorry hun, there isn't a way that you can break it to him without hurting his feelings.

Just be honest, and he'll move on. That's all you can do.

Rejection is rejection, no matter how you put it.

Answer 10

One of the age-old dilemmas in life.

The answer is.... you can't.

Here's how this shapes up. Someone likes you, but you do not like them in return. We all have feelings and we all want to have someone in our life. So we go thru each day, thinking about, and acting upon those feelings.

We see, or know someone that we feel we like, and then we are faced with that 'decision'....what do I do to 'get them'. We post questions here, ask our friends, read magazine articles and on and on and on. Nothing wrong with that.

While the flurry of people are shuttling about there are those that want to meet those that do not want to be met; like you and this guy. He has to get the nerve up to ask you out. We men, 99.5% of the time, feel that we have ONE shot at success if we approach a woman to ask her out or talk to her, and how we approach it dictates that percentage.

We all (guys and girls alike) know that we can either succeed or fail. We all know that. It comes with taking that risk. So, when someone goes up to someone else to ask them out, it is often a very stressful situation. A lot of pressure we feel. We HAVE to do it RIGHT, we HAVE to PERFORM....we have to do this and we have to do that, because we are shooting for that 0.5% that we will succeed.

Ok...why am I blabbing on and on about crap we (probably) all know? Because the answer is JUST as obvious, but no one seems to realize it.

He knows the risk, so he is stressing about asking. You just happen to be privy to knowing that he wants to ask. So, fortunately for you both, you have time to figure out how to say NO...and you WILL say no.

Here's the pay-off. It's NOT that you say no to him sweety......not at all. He WILL get his feelings hurt. It's 100% guaranteed. It is an absolute certainty. It's this way for ALL of us.....and this we all know, and this is what we ALL try and avoid, but asking questions, talking to people, reading articles, watching Dr. Phil and all that jazz. If we didn't feel that risk, we wouldn't take all these measures to try and NOT get hurt. There is always that disappointment to some degree when we don't get what we want.

So, here is the answer for you.

Turn him down, BUT do so KINDLY! Be respectful to him. Be polite, be thankful that he asked you, but be honest, but not so much so that it's rude. Don't sway in your answer, be firm, but be kind and compassionate to the guy. It will minimize the hurt if you do this in this way rather than be snotty and nasty to him. Responses like this do no one any good. He will think you're just a *****, and it will affect how he approaches someone next time.

I no longer approach woman for this very reason. Unnecessary rudeness. Snotty responses.......and for no good reason really.

So, be nice to him. Think about what you want to say, ask your friends, post more questions if you need to, but have something ready, and when he comes up to you, smile, be nice and say your piece. He will get his feelings hurt, yes, but he will think you are a classy, NICE person afterward. The after-impression he has of you after you turn him down will count just as much as if you said yes to him. Believe me....this IS how you should handle this. I've been on both sides, and have had all kinds of reactions. Those that are polite are memorable, and whom I regard as good, people. If they are not interested....hey....ok, but there's no need to be an a.s.shole about anything.

Good luck to you, I hope things work out!