My fiance argh!!?

Question

My fiance works nights so he'll get home like 7 on a regular day,I wake him up to spend time with him because he claims he misses me when hes at work but he yells at me for waking him up to early which is like 3 because he has to be at work for 6:30,we eat watch tv,etc but he gets mad at me which i think is unfair because when his friends comes over when he only gets like 4 hrs he doesn't get mad in fact he hangs out with them and run errands with them and of course he leaves me home....do you think its unfair for me to get mad?Tell me the truth i won't get mad btw thx for answering:)

kristy is it?I stay up waiting for him and i am trying to get the same work schedules he also works 6 days a week on his day of he sleeps

Answer 1

in my opinion you both have issues:
his: to grow up and act as though you are both a part of a partnership
yours: to figure out if this is actually how you really want to live your life.

If what you are saying is absolutely true (we're not getting his side here) then a man who puts his friends or family ahead of his spouse is not the man for any woman until he grows up
getting him up at 3 is a reasonable time.

ps - why do you allow his friends in the door when he is sleeping?

Answer 2

Personally, I don't think it's unfair for you to get mad, but you need to realize that he does work.

Have you thought about getting a job that matches his schedule?

Often times, couples will experience problems with such different work schedules. Or maybe you guys can make a "date night" in which one of you makes a sacrifice once per week to insure you spend some quality time together... Also, ask him to wake YOU up while he's home as well...

You can't just sacrifice his sleep, you need to sacrifice your own once in a while too.

Answer 3

Are you nuts staying with this guy! My ex fiance worked the same shift and made sure he was up in time so we could do things together. He blew his friends off unless I wanted to go with him. He never left me behind without checking to see if I wanted to go too. I often stayed back out of respect for him because he didn't need me around constantly but he at least gave me a choice. Sweetie the only reason he is my ex is because I wasn't ready for marriage. If he can't change his selfish ways then get rid of him. You'll always come after his friends forever!!!!

Answer 4

No it's not unfair; we are all human and we all need a little attention every now and then, but you need to sit him down and let him know exactly how you feel, don't be arguing everyday about the same situation and still not seeing any changes. so my advice to you is that you have an adult conversation with him one of these fine days when he seem to be in a good mood and lay it out on the table as it is in a descent and truthful way. God Bless.

Answer 5

That's what he does to his fiance'?!?! If he takes you for granted like this NOW... then HOW do you think he'll treat you when you are married. Put your foot down NOW! If he changes his ways, then fine, but if he doesn't, then you are basically accepting his 'rules' and have no right to complain about it later. (and be sure he'll SAY that! That you knew what he was like, before you got married!) Decide now if you love him enough to want to put up with his attitude towards you, to put up with it for ever more. If not, tell him now, and leave. Or you'll just be doing it later under the word 'divorce'. And Forbid if you two have kids when you leave because then you'll hate it even more. First, think about what I said, then talk to him about the 'problem' and talk it out... He might shoot himself in the foot and make it an easier decision for you. Best of luck.

Answer 6

Well, why couldn't he wake YOU up a little early to spend time before YOU go into work??

And if you don't work, then yes, it definitely unfair for you to get mad.

It's all about give and take; if he is always the one who has to get up early, than how is that fair? How could he NOT get mad?

As far as what all these other girls have to say about him spending time with his friends means he should be spending it with you.... If all he does is work and hang out with you, how long before he gets sick of both??

Hope this helps :)

Answer 7

wow he sounds like he is taking advantage of you i would get very mad of course you want to spend time with him and you should both do that since you are getting married to him this is how the rest of your marriage will be i hope you know unless you stand up for yourself

it also seems like he values his friends over you or he likes his friends more than he likes you theres a HUGE RED FLAG.

if he says he misses you then tell him he will have to make the time to see you cus you aren't doing it anymore.

and if you do happen to wake him up and he yells at you ,dont let him he has no right to and he is just being a butt

in my opinion if it doesn't get better you might want to rethink the marriage think

Answer 8

Im sure he does miss you but Im also sure that he's also tired. however you are entitled to your share of time with him and if he doesnt want to give you that then that becomes a very unfair situation... Try not to be up under him so much and give him his space. In fact, give him more than his space. Chances are that he's taking your company for granted right now and doesnt even realize it, but Im sure once you start missing he'll take notice.

Answer 9

If he spends soo much time working, he should spend his free time w/ you and go out with friends after he's spent time w/ you. I wouldn't wake him up early, but do let him know that you should be a priority, and his friends can wait...

Answer 10

I don't think your reaction is unfair... what's unfair is that he treats his friends differently than you. You guys should talk and set aside a time for just the both of you... whether it be before or after his shift.