We live in a small town in Oregon, its not like we live in China. I am and always will be a stay-at-home mom, because I work from home in my free time. My husband has a job he loves and that allows him a good ammount of family time too. So its not like the state or a daycare is ending up doing the raising. We already have one daughter who is 19 months old and we adore her. She's so laid back and loving, that we know we are doing something right, and are constantly complimented on how well we are doing despite being only 21 and 22. Of course, its possible we may have a difficult child, but with a good, loving big sister and parents, there will be plenty of love and patience for that child. If we love and support our children and do our very best to turn them into productive members of society, is it so wrong to have four of them? Some people have told us it is, but I am curious what the general opinion is.
2006-10-06 06:33:27 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have good experience with children, having done daycare for CARDV (center against rape and domestic violence). So I was frequently taking care of very troubled and difficult children. Its given me the patience of a saint. My husband works with developmentally disabled people and really does a great job, so we are even more prepared for the risk of a special needs child should that happen. If we have all healthy children like our daughter, then heck, they will just seem really easy compared to what we are used to.
2006-10-06 06:36:23 · update #1
I know this sound silly but I think it's because of all the kids that are in foster programs. Sure, it's nice to have your own blood but I think adopting is far better and a lot more noble. Have your kids, be happy, and forget what everyone else says!
2006-10-06 06:41:30 · answer #1 · answered by .vato. 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like you are some pretty upstanding people. You live in a rural area. I dont see you being a bad person. I mean at least you will probably raise them to be worth something. I am not really for people having a bunch of children because believe it or not one day (even in America) we will have to deal with over population. Don't get me wrong, I think everyone should be able to have kids if they want them, but 1 maybe 2. If you run a farm man that is different story all together. If you live in a modern society where people are dependent upon each other the way we are today then I see no reason for people to be breeding like rabbits. Have 1 or 2 kids and focus on them. The more kids you have the less attention each will recieve. I think that thier are way too many children that have horrible guidance today.
I used to work for a baby store (don't laugh). I saw more children that were terrors because thier parents didn't even pay attention to them. It was rare that I would hear a parent say something to thier children and them actually listen or even respond to it. I am totally agianst people that have children to have children. Because that doesnt mean they really want to accept the responsibility of the children they just want children. That is why you have so many crappy people today.
2006-10-06 13:55:53 · answer #2 · answered by Slappin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered adopting or fostering? With your experience and dedication, you sound like the perfect person to do either of those. You've been lucky to have children of your own and to have gone through that experience (many women believe it's important to go through the experience of pregnancy and childbirth), and maybe you could give back to those less fortunate.
I do not necessarily thing there is anything wrong with having 4 children, but with so many children out there that are looking for a loving family, instead of bringing more children into the world, it would be commendable if you could provide the love and support for a child that doesn't currently have it.
2006-10-06 13:44:08 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think wanting a bunch of children is the most awesome thing. We have 2 girls, 20 months apart who adore each other. We are expecting #3 and could be #4 in there too (will find out soon). I always wanted 4 children. I know a sweet couple who just had their 7th baby and they are a wonderful family and have figured out how to live as a unit of 9 beautifully yet, they are constantly criticized, many comments like when will they stop, how can anyone take care of 7 kids, etc. I think people who are critical probably cant handle life very well.
Sound like you and your husband have great personalities and will be great parents to a big family! good luck
2006-10-06 13:43:17 · answer #4 · answered by momto2girls13 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sure, your husband has a job now... but what if he drops dead at age 29 and you're left raising 4 kids? (It happens, car accidents or whatever. My friend's 29 year old nephew dropped dead of an asthma attack! And he otherwise seemed very healthy.)
What if you drop dead and he's left raising 4 kids?
Do you have money in savings to help you through the rough times that might come up? What if your husband is laid off or this country goes through another Great Depression?
Do you own your own home? Because some landlords won't rent to someone with a bunch of kids and/or pets.
OK, so you have money in savings; you and your husband are each prepared to do whatever it takes to raise the kids as single parents if the other parent dies; and you own your own home... then, sure, go ahead and have as many as you like!
Most people don't give it much thought and then, if they get laid off or become injured, they have no money in savings to help them through the tough times, they lose their house, the government winds up having to help them feed their kids, etc.
2006-10-06 13:46:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, as long as all the kids have all they need as far as necessities and emotional care. I have four siblings, and my sitter has 4 kids of her own. If that is what you can handle, and what you would like to have, then by all means feel free to do so. Who cares what anyone else thinks, they may just be jealous because you can handle it so well and they wouldn't be able to.
2006-10-06 15:47:19 · answer #6 · answered by angelbaby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the proud mother of four boys and I see nothing wrong with it I may not get time for myself sometimes but I would not have my life any other way as far as why it's not wright in our society I feel that is A decision for your husband to make not everybody else as long as you have enough love in your heart for them I say go for it
2006-10-06 14:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by SAHM and proud of it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am having my 4th child in March. There is nothing wrong with it at all. I think big families are great and who cares what others think. Everyone supports me. The worst thing I have heard so far is..wow are you crazy?..lol But thats because Ihave 3 boys and they are very active.. People from church and our families, and friends are supportive though and excited for us.
2006-10-06 14:54:25 · answer #8 · answered by Blondi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ther is nothing wrong with having 4 kids. I have 5 myself. All from the same father. ( very unusual now a days ) I stayed home with all of them Now my youngest is in school and I have went back to work. I love all of them and dont care what others say. You do what you want, not what others want. Go for it.
2006-10-06 13:46:09 · answer #9 · answered by Joystick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not have children, and I don't think I'll ever have more than one. My husband wants one, but I don't want any, so as you can see, I am not in your position at all.
However, if you can provide for many children, and help them become good productive members of society, go for it.
People think it's wrong because there are way to many white trash people who expect other people to feed their kids. Also, there are way to many people who have many kids because they do not believe in birth control and try to shove their beliefs down others' throats.
As long as you're not one of those- have as many children as you want.
2006-10-07 21:37:43 · answer #10 · answered by jimbell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋