Advice on how to act around my ex when seeing him for the first time since break up?

Question

We are trying the friend thing, but we are meeting b/c we had made these plans with our friends prior to breaking up & don't want to ruin a good time for everyone.We have agreed to be civil & both recently admitted that we can't let one another go but we also know that we can't be together (we can't communicate well, we're opposites he doesn't want a committed relationship & I like committments) But he also wants the bf benefits without the committment. I want to be myself b/c if we're friends we're friends right? How should I act? What should I do to make him realize what he's lost without being a b&%ch?But also being able to be strong and not fall back into wanting him back? any advice would help. Thanks. (we do actually LIKE one another and I don't think either of us wants to see the other unhappy).

Answer 1

Your best bet is to wait about a year or two when feelings have disapated a lot. Doing it too soon is gonna bring back memories and you might just crumble into tears. I suggest avoiding him till you have the strength. If you dont know how to act then you still have feelings and want to know how to hide them when your around him.

Answer 2

Be yourself - try real hard to avoid thinking about the negative things that caused you to break up & concentrate on having a good time with your friends. I would just calmly talk with him when he speaks to you - avoid all mention of what you had & what you wanted. Let him see the real you shine through & let him see how incredible you are under pressure. Grace & confidence will make you look so much better - also, don't try TOO hard to have a good time - don't make it look like you're working it!! Be as laid back as you possibly can & let the others come to you - him included. Dress in something that makes you feel ultra beautiful - be it your fav pair of jeans & boots or a little black dress that shows off everything terrific!! - put on your most favorite perfume & make a little extra effort with the makeup - you'll want to look as terrific as the image you are trying to project. Good luck - but mostly just be YOU!!!

Answer 3

Cool, calm and collected. Not cold or bitchy but cool. You know, OK, like everythings OK. No crying. No reminiscing. Stay away from "old time" conversations. Dress well but not too over the top. Keep a little distance but be friendly, you won't be able to be best friends who tell each other everything instantly so don't try it now. Just try to get on and have a couple of drinks and take it easy. When you walk away you need to feel like you have a bit of power back. It's hard but you can do it!!

Answer 4

Sounds like you guys do have a certain amount of love there. But being friends don't mean you hang out cause you are beating yourself up like that. If you are still sexually active with him that is even worse . I think when someone says it's over let all the stuff be over.It sounds like in your mind like in most women's mind is that you can change him & make him see your worth BUT you got to change you & see what your worth is .Sorry to be so blunt but you really need to be a distant friend until you have built your self esteem back up. You can't handle this now cause you got your feelings all on hold & you sound as if you are hurting. Bad timing for just us being friends deal.

Answer 5

As if you are on top of the world. Don't let anything interfere with your fun evening, and even include him in some conversations, and, most importantly, don't talk to him one on one for any extended period. You don't have to be mean, just say I'm great, How are you? Good to hear. Then go make a phone call or whatever. Some people won't realize what they've got until it is gone.

Answer 6

If he is like this and justs want the perks, than chances are no matter what you do he won't see what he has lost. Just be yourself and have a great time, for yourself and your friends. Be kind and civil, but don't end the night with him! Be strong or you'll be giving him exactly what he wants and getting NOTHING in return, but lonliness and left still w/o any commitment. He'll just continue to use you.

Answer 7

Hang out with friends.. The best thing you can do is pretend that the breakup is not affecting you... it's hard but it's the only way he'll realise/ not realise what he's missing. No matter what though, kno that you'll respect yourself and he will respect you knowing that you'd rather commit than to not... Some guys take awhile to grow up, don't worry... if he doesn't realize it now, he'll realize it in the future when its too late... don't worry. You are strong and i respect you for not settling for less than what you want. My best advice for you is to pretend like you guys never dated. As hard as it is, it's the best thing to do. Good luck!

Answer 8

My sister is really outgoing and she has a bunch of friends and everyone loves her and I always wonder why. Well I'm the shy kind and never really talk so every time I'm out somewhere and I need to talk to someone or I'm at a party and no one is talking to me I always remind myself of her and I always tell myself that you're not going to get anywhere by just sitting, you have to get up and talk, the worst that can happen is if they don't talk back, then just go on to the next haha

Answer 9

I think you have made a very wise decision, You have to be proud and strong, it is better to get out now, then wasting years, and energy, on a relationship. that will only hurt your head. He is just not ready, to settle down, nothing wrong with that, but no need for you to tie your life, up while he goes out with Sally and Sue. etc. So when you see him, smile to yourself, that you can handle this, and that their is a lot in store for you, and that Mr. Right is just around the corner! Now remember one thing. the next friend, take your time, so you can get to know him, okay!

Answer 10

When you go to the bar or anything, get chatting to the bartender, laugh with him. Your ex will see this and will get jealous. Then he'll realise that he wants you. DEFINITELY wear something sexy, maybe something that you wore before having memorable sex. Also don't forget to be touchy towards him, touch his leg when you laugh, and maybe when you're saying goodbye or something, give him a hug and whisper in his ear. Your voice carries vibrations and when you're close to an ear, it kind of turns them on. Good luck :)