Im leaving an abusive, drinking, pot smoking, moody male and although i know its the best thing for me, am finding it hard to go. I dont love him anymore so am i just scared of his reaction when i go??
2006-10-06 04:08:51 · 35 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why would it be my hormones?? Im not a ditzy teenager!
For all the sensible answers out there a very BIG Thank you!!!
Will keep you posted!!!
2006-10-06 04:20:15 · update #1
TRUST ME, I completely understand what you're talking about. People tell you to just leave them, but it's not all that easy. It's easy to just tell someone that when you're on the outside looking in, but when it's you in the situation, then it's an entirely different perspective. You just have to remember that you deserve the best, and you need to do what's best and safe for you. I am in almost this exact same situation as we speak, and I am trying to decide what actions would be best to take next. I love him, but there are a lot of things that I just cannot stand for anymore. If you need to talk or vent, then feel free to e-mail me okay? I can be contacted through my profile. Good luck hun, you'll make it through.
2006-10-06 04:12:09 · answer #1 · answered by LibraT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your scared to leave because of the guilt you feel about taking the final step to end the relationship. Some relationships were just not meant to be and people have to make hard and difficult decisions about when enough is enough. In the end, guilt about ending a relationship is something I personally can live with as opposed to living with an abusive, pot smoking, alcoholic. That is something I know I couldn't live with very long. Guilt is the answer, You will feel guilty even though you are completely justified in terminating the relationship. That probably would make you a good person that you still might have some guilt associated with ending the relationship with this man.
2006-10-06 04:14:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Lanky
I am sure it is different for everyone but when I had to decide to get divorced it was the toughest thing in the world. You have to put your happiness ahead of somebody elses who you(hopefully) once loved. After months or years of not wanting to hurt this person you have to be brave enough to dish out the bad news.
Let peopel know you are doing this and try and have somebody close by in case things get out of hand. I have sat in the cold outside a good friends house before while she was breaking up with an aggressive guy. She didn't need me in the end but she said it was easier breaking up knowing I was there.
What should make it easier is making some new friends. Try and find a decent guy, maybe on the web. Yeah right, like thats going to happen :) Just kidding, you found me didn't you.
2006-10-06 22:15:38 · answer #3 · answered by mbaker_713 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi ya.
You might be scared of his reaction and/or scared of what it will be like going it alone for a while. You have a routine in your life and routines are reassuring things. The thing is that if you find a better situation as a result of leaving him you will look back and wonder why on earth you ever stayed with him so long. Think about that if you feel that it really is over with him.
2006-10-07 06:40:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just got out of a unhealthy relationship myself and I think I held on because we had been together for so long I got comfortable and afraid to start over but I had to realize that I deserved to be happy instead of arguing and fighting everyday. So maybe your afraid to leave your comfort zone but at some point you to will realize you deserve to be happy and love someone as well as them loving you. If you know in your heart you don't love him anymore then let go and hopefully things will end peacefully even if you have to the police there when you leave because of the abuse but I'll tell u nothing is better than being happy and having a peace of mind
2006-10-06 04:16:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear what you're going through. Poor you :-(
Sounds like you know you have to leave, but it's always a hard thing to do. indeed it's gonna change your life for a little while but in time you'll eventually be happy again just knowing you did the right thing for you. He'll get over it and it might make him change his ways as it sounds to me like he's a bit of a waste of space. sorry, i don't want that to sound harsh!
If you don't love him anymore perhaps it's the best thing to leave and look for someone's who will make you happy! You deserve it!!
:-)
2006-10-06 04:17:08 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Tickle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have given part of your soul to this man and you seem afraid to ask for it back. You were having alot of reservations that he would change and you see no change.So you feel the relationship is going nowhere and you want to move on so stay strong and leave before it may get ugly.You are a human being and you deserve alot better in your life.
2006-10-06 04:15:30 · answer #7 · answered by keishahayes2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to leave anything - Job, house, boyfriend, family.
This is because its like the old saying Better the devil you know than the one yo don't.
You do not know what it will be like without him so its a worry and part of you will worry about what happens to jim even though you no longer love him.
Well he is a big boy now , he'll survive. The shock may even buck his ideas up.
2006-10-06 04:21:24 · answer #8 · answered by philipscottbrooks 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A number of reasons:
* however bad it is, it is what you are familiar with. So it is just fear of the unknown in part
* abusive people by definition, disempower their partner. Emotional, physical, sexual, money. So it needs your courage to get out
* be practical. get together your escape plan to include money, where to stay, bank accounts
* keep a diary of any abuse from now on and any problems after you get out
* have a great life. You deserve it!
* X
2006-10-06 04:17:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is hard to let go of someone despite of all his imperfections because you love him... if you know that it is the best for you then do it... it is a matter of sacrificing your love to someone for your own benefit...it is not selfish it is just the way things are...if you know or realize the your relationship with that junk man is not helping you grow or make you a better person you better leave him and forget bout your conscience of leaving him... it is for your own good...you already knew it is for the best then do it before worse things happened to you...Goodluck...and you can do it... just have faith in you... hurt is part of growing up... learn from it....dont be affected by it life must go on there are better man for you out there just widden your horizons....open your heart for a new beginning...
2006-10-06 04:18:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋