My boyfriend, who i love with all of my heart, has loved two other people before me. And I can't help but feel like I just don't compare to those other relationships. I don't understand why this bothers me so much. However, because I'm allowing this to bother me, it is ruining my relationship.
2006-10-06 03:32:59 · 16 answers · asked by Srah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He didn't break up with any of his girlfriends, it wasn't his choice that it ended. One of the girls he loved broke it off only 6 months before he started dating me. I trust that he loves me. But it hurts to feel as if you're being compared. He told me that he had a great bond with one of them and the other the personalities matched up great. And he tells me all of these things, that in the end i just can't handle hearing like I thought I could. Plus he still has things save on computers and websites that are connected with those past relationships. Recently he deleted the folder that he had dedicated to the one ex, but there's still stuff saved on geocities.
Go ahead tell me I'm crazy because I know that I am.
2006-10-06 04:16:19 · update #1
Realize that you're the one that's with him now. If they meant anything to him still he'd still be pursuing them.
Let it go. Think about why it really bothers you. There is nothing he (or you) can do to change his past. Who he is now is partially a result of being with those other women. Love him for being with them.
2006-10-06 03:34:45 · answer #1 · answered by Canonball 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't feel you have any reason to be insecure unless your boyfriend has done or said something to make you feel this way. Haven't you been in a similar situation? There is probably not many people around who have not been in love before. You have to realize that he is with you and these relationships did not work out for a reason. Give him the benefit of the doubt unless you feel that he is being unfaithful. Good Luck!
2006-10-06 10:39:45 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same scenario. So how I try to get them off my mind is, I ask him how often he talks to them, how long they dated, why they broke up, and does he ever see himself with those girls again. My boyfriend has changed a lot since he last loves -- and nothing about the girls he loved before me currently interest him anymore...that really helps calm my mind. But I know my boyfriend would never cheat on me, and our communication is great in our relationship that we squash any arguements or disagreements as soon as possible. Hope this helped.
2006-10-06 10:38:22 · answer #3 · answered by bella_95746 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok
i had that problem with my x gf and it ruin our relationship
cuz her self esteem was being tarnish
but i never talked about my x
but she knew about my x thru a mutual friend of ours
she always thought she was pretty enough
when i constantly called her beautiful
i was happy with her and she didnt believe it
and cuz of that she will do things or prevent herself from loving 100% and it the end it broke us up
stop thinking about the x
u r in his life now
do what u have to do to keep him and he should do the same too
dont let a nice relationship go to waste over some dumb s h i t
believe i wish mine never ended i loved the person i was with
2006-10-06 10:39:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to let it go. He is with you. Something had to have happened between him and his exes otherwise he would still be off the market. You need to let go of your insecurities and allow yourself to be happy.
Unless you have a real reason to worry that your boyfriend might be leaning back towards an ex, you cannot let who they are bother you.
2006-10-06 10:39:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to feel the same with my ex. but just think...they're EXs for a reason. He's with you now because he wants to be! Don't make it worse for him or make the relationship worse...then maybe he won't wanna be with you anymore or will start missing his ex's because of your crazy ways. Haven't you had a boyfriend before? You don't miss them or compare him to them in negetive ways, right? You don't with you were still with them...same goes for him.
2006-10-06 10:36:52 · answer #6 · answered by Big and Rich 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep in mind. is he with you now or is he with them.. if you dont trust him that his over his ex, than you got a problem and got to end the realtionship. because it simple up to you and how much you loved him and why you choose him at the start
2006-10-06 10:38:32 · answer #7 · answered by SimileyDaisy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is fear, pure and simple. Because they were before you, you fear that he has not let them go completely. You need to look at it from a different perspective. He is with you, he chose you, they lost, you won...
2006-10-06 10:44:43 · answer #8 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he wants to have a threesome with one of the other girls. If he agrees, then he's not for you. If he is for you, he will tell you, "Honey, I don't want those other girls. I only need you."
2006-10-06 10:36:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you dont overcome your jealousy then its going to ruin your relationship you shouldnt be worried about the past you should only worry about the future and be glad you have him.
2006-10-06 10:36:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋