Am I REALLY that bad???? Fiance broke off with me because I am disgusting!?

Question

I live in Shanghai, China now (I am an American). My fiance finally had enough of me being disgusting.
I have a high sex drive. I like to make love a lot. My fiance says she enjoys making love with me but prefers only 1 or 2 times a week. I don't want to force her to make love when she doesn't want. So, I ask her to use her hand to help me. She says if she doesn't want to have sex, that means NO ANY kind of sex. She says I am disgusting for asking and not caring for her feelings. I said, all I am asking you to do is touch me. She got mad and broke off our engagement. She said my ex-bf would never ask me to do this if I didn't want to do it. I said - yes, but your ex-bf left you for another woman too! I would never leave you but I need to be happy, all I am asking is for you to use your hand when you don't want to make love. She said I was disgusting and for me to get out of her life until I change my mind!
So, do you agree with her??
Tell me your nationality and gender.

Answer 1

Im american, female...I think you did nothing wrong. I'm like your ex, I like it but not everyday so when i don't want it, hands work just fine to keep my man happy. She needs to respect her needs as well as you respecting hers. I wish you both luck through this. I hope all works out for the best.

Answer 2

I am a proud African-American female who thinks that she did you a favor by breaking off the engagement. Could you imagine living the rest of your life with someone who is as self centered as she sounds? There are certain sex acts I wouldn't perform, but there are also a lot of sex act I do perform, and they will keep my man pretty happy. When ever anyone questions your integrity in the bedroom that way, chances are, they wouldn't make a good mate. There is always room for compromise. Maybe she didn't want to touch you with her hand, but her mouth would get the job done, and I'm sure you wouldn't have minded, right?

Answer 3

I'm an American woman - I think she is being very immature - but then I think you might be the problem too.. Hand sex is yucky for a girl - so you need to do some more convincing to get her in the mood for the real deal. Personally, what works for me when I'm not in the mood is some wine - and if she doesn't drink... Then start out with a neck rub or back rub. Tell her you don't want to have sex (USE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY - Trust me this works!!!) Then tell her you ONLY want to kiss her. "If you don't want to have sex - can we just kiss and make out?" And if she goes for that - get into it and make it romantic for her. Kiss her closed eyelids and cheeks and ears and lips of course. She will melt and want to make love in no time.

But, men always make the mistake of thinking "I'm ready - she must be too!" NOT... Women need some time and coaxing sometimes - most of the time... Don't just jump on top of her - try the things I mentioned above - they will work if she loves you. IF that doesn't work -she is cold and you won't have a happy marriage.
Good luck.

Answer 4

Oh. My. God. He cheats on you because he CAN. he's had you lower than his thumb because you've been a ignorant youngster, and he conditioned you properly from that age through dishonest on you and making you're taking him back to be his suited robo-female. by no skill asking too a lot or pointing out some thing that would make his day lower than suited. there is not any way in the international that you nonetheless love this guy...you're basically USED to him and his demands, his dishonest, his extremely disrespectful treatment of you, his lies and his manipulation. Do you ever, for a minute, open your eyes and extremely look at him and word who he extremely is? you're saying he's "extremely wonderful" yet I assure if I met him, understanding what i understand from you, i might want to discover him horribly repugnant and disgusting. that's humorous that you ask if we assume of HE would have a situation - oh female, certain certainly he has an exceedingly severe situation; he's an severe narcissist. yet what about you, what's your situation? you could tell, despite the undeniable fact that he has you extremely properly brainwashed, that he has a situation of a few form. Do you actual elect your twins starting to be up with this ill bastard as a position form? Please, napping elegance, come out contained in the sunlight hours and word what's extremely taking position till now you existence is wasted any better on an exceedingly ill guy with a egocentric agenda and 2 innocuous babies searching on you to maintain them from the hell of starting to be up interior a similar abode the position you're so mistreated and disrespected. strong success; you'll elect it.

Answer 5

You might be sick. But whether you are or your not, you guys have different sex drives and you both might be better off finding people who have similar sex drives. There are woman out there who do want to bone all the time but wouldnt that make her really loose? Too much of a good thing could stink, careful what you wish for!
American Woman!!!

Answer 6

I don't think you are discusting at all. However, it is probably a good thing that she broke it off.

You are obvioulsy very open about your sexual needs. I respect that from a guy. If she calls you "discusting" because you are communicating your desires, than chances are a marriage wouldn't work out anyway. There are many women out there that are more than happy to fulfill their man's sexual needs. Just be respectful in the way you approach the subject. Women don't like to feel as though the only thing you want them for is sex.

She doesn't seem to be the one for you. If she brings up her ex when you are having conversations, she isn't willing to at least try to please you sexually, and she calls you discusting for asking her to try.......not very good signs of how your future with her may be.

Good luck! Your really horny, Miss Right is out there waiting for you! lol

(American, white, female)

Answer 7

I'm a black woman, but being black or being a woman has nothing to do with my views on this subject.

You have just pointed out why it's a good idea to be sexually active with your partner before getting married. If you got married to her, you would never be sexually satisfied. That's not about fault, not hers and not yours. It's about sexual comfort. Your fiance doesn't have as much sexual energy as you do. She seems somewhat conservative; and she has every right to be that way. She should not have to change for your sake nor should you have to change for hers. When people decide to get together, I think it's best that they already be on the same level in certain areas. Sex is definately one of them. If you're not sexually conservative, you won't match well with someone who is. If she didn't want to stroke you, I can image what kind of argument you would've had if you'd asked her for oral sex. I'm wondering how you guys got to the point of getting engaged. Did you just get a boost in your sex drive recently? I don't see how you could have been happy sexually all this time unless her sex drive recently decreased.

Now, as far as you needing her assistance, it's definately not a huge thing that you asked of her. But she's right. If she says she doesn't want sex, to have sex of any kind under those circumstances would be forced on her part. No one wants to feel obligated to have sex. I'm confused as to why you felt you needed her assistance when you have two hands of your own- unless of course, parts of either one of your hands are missing. There is no reason why you should need someone to help you masturbate. I'm sure it helps but it shouldn't be required.

Both of you guys were wrong in one sense. She should've never compare you to her ex boyfriend.. nor should you have pointed out that he left her to be with somebody else. Why add insult to injury? It would probably be best to just move on. Find someone who moves at your speed. That way, you won't find yourself being one of these people in a mixed up marriage who can't remain faithful.

Answer 8

From your description her thinking it is disgusting is the reason she has a low sex drive. Move on man find someone who will actually love you with a sex drive to match.

BTW PoliPino...If she expects something out of it then she is selfish.

I am an American male.

Answer 9

well buddy im pr n arabic and of course a female but raised in america... i dont think it is disgusting i rather have my man ask me to do something for him make him happy than have him go somewhere else and get it i mean its just a hand job we all have a sex drive and its not disgustin it is natural how do u expect to marry a women spend the rest of your life with her if she cant fulfill your sexual pleasures... just like you should fulfill hers... i mean if it is al da time then yea i would say no to you once in a while but i think you should find a freak just as big as you

Answer 10

To a women its still a very sexual act. Its not disgusting at all, but you really need to be with someone who has the same level sex drive or go and take care of it yourself!!