If you read my most recent question, you will know that my boyfriend asked me to move in with him, and then freaked out last week saying that he's not sure we should do this. We have talked a few times and we avoid the subject for the most part. I asked him if we'll be okay and he says "I hope so". He even said "I'm not saying don't move in, I'm just saying think about it....are you going to be happy?". Then we didn't talk about it that night.
He hasn't called for a couple of days now and I've been trying to give him his space. He knew that the movers were coming today and he didn't call to tell me to stop the move. Is he just hoping that I will disappear and decide on my own not to move up there? Or does he think that he can treat me like this and I'll still move?
I really can't figure him out, he's been married before and is much older than me. Is he insecure, doesn't like me, or what? What can I do? I love him but it's obvious that he doesn't love me the same way
2006-10-06 02:38:05 · 3 answers · asked by torn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
WOW! This sounds very VERY similar to my present situation! I am 20 and my boyfriend is 37, and yes he has been married before and has 4 beautiful boys. His marriage lasted a year but it was a relationship of 8 years. Yea we have a big age gap, but I can honestly say that he is the most compatible, honest and sincere person that Ive ever met. We get along very well, and I have little or no worries with him. We've been dating close to a year and he's now moved from a condo into a house and has asked me to move in with him. We live kind of farr away from each other, I live in the city and he's out in the suburbs, so my commute to see him is very difficult.
When we picked the house (about 2 weeks ago/he's already moved in), everything was fine, and he was like "baby you should move in with me, I dont want to be in this house alone, its too big, we should live together, etc, etc...". So I, of course, agreed. I want to move out of my mom's house anyway, so why not, right?
So for the past week or so, he's been like "are you sure you want to move in...you sure you want to do this, etc..." and Im like "duh im sure". So then I asked him why he was asking me that and if HE was unsure, and he said that he just wanted to make sure that I was happy, being that Im the baby at home and very close to my mother--he didnt want me to leave home and then be sad.
So i began packing my stuff last night and my movers are coming tomorrow, and of course when my mom got home last night she had a fit (especially when she had alread known for the past 2 weeks, but she still had a fit last night anyway). And when I called him last night to tell him how much my mom was bitching about it, he asked me again "are you sure you want to move in???" and Im like "yea I want to do it...im not gonna let my mom's argument override my desicion. If it were up to her, I'd never be allowed to leave home anyway...gotta cut the umbilical cord someday!".
So I am going to start moving all of my stuff and hopefully everything works out for the best. If not, then I can always go back home.
But dont take it as that your boyfriend doesnt want you to move in because if that was the case then I thin he wouldve said it. He probably just feels that since you are younger he wants to make sure that you are making the rightt desicions and that you are happy with them. If he loves you, the last thing he wants to do is see you miserable, because trust me it is much more different when you live with a guy. And dont think that because he's been married before that it automatically eliminates his urge for marriage in the future. Like I said before, my boyfreind was with his ex-wife in a standard boyfriend/girlfriend relationship for 8 years and had 4 kids before they even married. Unfortunatley things didnt work out and they divorced, but my boyfriend says that he would definetly want to marry again and definetly have more kids in the future!
My advice to you is to try to talk to him and definently tell him that you are confident about your desicion and know that this is what you want. Ask him whats on his mind and what are his expectations of the move. Ask him, if HE'S sure about you moving in becasuse you definently are. And then Im sure his confidence will come out. I rarely doubt that he doesnt like you or anything like that, Im sure he's just trying to make sure that your happy and dont regret any desicions you make.
2006-10-06 03:03:48 · answer #1 · answered by Roselyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you want to communicate it out with him. possibly they did have a relationship.....possibly his recommendations became only wandering. often times adult adult males are only so into the sex, they don't look into it on an emotional factor like we are, they only income from the texture of it. possibly it really is the first call that got here out of his mouth. it could be a real mistake. inspite of this he will be in love together with her and utilizing an image of her at the same time as making like to you. both way he owes you a minimum of the reality. i imagine after making this blunder two times you deserve somewhat honesty cos it ought to make you sense like crap. good success.
2016-11-26 20:53:50 · answer #2 · answered by turick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u move in..and if he says anything unexpected answer him well.
find out wht he really wants of u,and dont loose heart.
2006-10-06 02:46:23 · answer #3 · answered by tonima 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋