You just let go...and start acting like a healthy person would even if at 1st you don't feel like one. It will improve your life until you do feel healthy. If you are so messed up that you don't know what healthy IS, approach it academically and study, watch, gather all the info you can on how healthy happy people act and emulate it.
I am not talking out my butt; I had a pretty horrific childhood and let go of it by the time I became an adult. After all, I had already completed an 18 year sentence for no particular crime...why should I sentence MYSELF to another 60 years or so?
I was fortunate to have an older, young adult brother when I was a teen, who would always be terribly angry at one parent or another, depending on what his latest theory was about which one messed up his life more. I watched this and realized that I wouldn't have to worry about who messed up my life, if my life wasn't messed up. And I made the choice that it would not be.
That's what it is, not so much a process as a single choice. I strongly suggest you don't languish in therapy. If you think you need the help of a therapist, shop for a practical one who will aggressively help you learn new lfe skills in a time-limited fashion, like 12 to 18 months...not encourage you to talk about your childhood year after year. Hard to find...may as well just skip the therapy.
Just be very alert for the negative things you do over and over out of habit, figure out what behavior you would like to replace the negative one with, and force yourself to make the change until the new way becomes habit. You don't need to dwell on "why" you are the way you are. Once you are no longer making your present suffer from the past, the past will lose its emotional hold over you. God Bless.
2006-10-06 02:35:43
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answer #1
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answered by z 3
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Sweetie, The only way to let go of these issues is to leave them right where they are, (In the past). You have to forgive these people or circumstances in your heart even when you don't think they deserve it and trust me alot of them don't. You have to leave things behind and focus on the present and future. How can you enjoy your present when you are still living in the past????? (Literally!!!). How can you look towards a future or even enjoy one if you are still living in the past??? It's impossible to do either one because nobody can be in either one of these places if they already live in a certain time which would be the past. Do you understand what i'm trying to say???? To truly be free is to leave it right where it started, and that's in the past. That stuff is done, and yes it did inflict damage, but you are the only one that has power over what will continue to hurt you and what will not. You have the power here. Your life is meant for happiness and you should know that it's yours for the having!!! I know you have heard this saying over and over again, but it's true, we only live once on this earth. That's it!!! There is no coming back once where gone. All the happiness and fun will be at a dead end once our time is up. Who knows when their going to die???? That's why it's important to be happy and enjoy life everyday as if it was your last day because you just don't know. Life is not fair and it never will be, EVER!!!!! So knowing this you need to say, (You know what I had a tough childhood, but those issues should be a motivator in my life now instead of an emotional killer). I know all of this is easier said than done, but it's about being persistant, and working hard at this. Your the only one that can free yourself, and you have to make a decision whether you want to keep feeling this way or actually move ahead and say to yourself I will beat this and overcome this. Anything is possible with a positive mind frame. Take care and I hope things work out for you.
2006-10-06 02:43:31
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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You already are free: just takes a big perspective shift to realise that. Childhood's always going to be a hugely important time for any human being, when we're at our most receptive to what's going on around us. If you mean 'forgetting', that's no sort of freedom. Think back to those issues, which are, for many people, a mixture of painful and wonderful memories (don't forget the good stuff). Instead of comparing your childhood to some kind of artificial 'perfect' childhood, accept it as an integral part of your identity. The surest way to peace is by being completely honest with yourself and realising nothing can be quite so terrifying (and wonderful) as your own thoughts.
2006-10-06 02:35:21
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answer #3
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answered by tyrian&eustas(the puffin) 2
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I could inform approximately the capsules and allow the legislation do what they'll. You have got to discover a counselor immediately. There's no disgrace in it. Focus for your lifestyles and what you desire. It's tough when you consider that you are going to have the urge to check out to save lots of them. I cannot say if it might be valued at it to you to check out to press abuse bills. In the imply time I could fear approximately you and hold a ways for a time whenever you transfer out. You have got to heal your self first, then see if you'll support in any respect. But once more watch out not to get sucked in to looking to be the savior. There's by no means relatively retribution, however would possibly you are living a protracted a enjoyable lifestyles with so much happiness.
2016-08-29 07:03:55
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answer #4
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answered by ? 4
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Allowing the past to control our future is something that most everyone struggles with at some time or another. It is normal to have issues from the past affect you. Try to put events into perspective and realize that you aren't the child you once were and that you have the control over your ultimate destiny in life.
2006-10-06 03:28:06
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answer #5
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answered by Dragonfly 2
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In order to let go of them you have to first face/address them. If possible go back to the root of your problems/issues and confront them head on. A big part of acceptance is forgiveness. If you want to be free you have to not only accept that what happened happened, but whole-heartedly forgive those who did you wrong and/or hurt you. You need to learn from your hard times, and let it make you a better and stronger person.
2006-10-06 02:25:25
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answer #6
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answered by Ms Independent 3
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There's something that is bothering you, then you need to face it. Confront that problem. Because once you do, you'll be free. Even if its hard for you to do that. Then you can finally stop dwelling in the pass and look towards the future.
2006-10-06 02:23:27
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answer #7
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answered by Rica 82 5
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tell yourself you will not let it ruin your life, there are many books out there called self help books that really help with this. In a way it is like letting abuse from the past continue to abuse you, you must move on and now you are in control of your life so make it good for you, you deserve it!!!!!!!!!! good luck!
2006-10-06 02:23:05
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answer #8
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answered by ladynamedjane 5
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Do you want to be happy? or do you want to be sad and depressed? If your answer is be happy...well that is the answer to your question...just let go of the negativity in your life...whats in the past is in the past and there is nothing you can do to change it...just live your life from today forward. Don't forget to smile =)
2006-10-06 02:23:45
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answer #9
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answered by mami17 2
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Sometimes we all need counseling. I suggest you talk to a professional to gain perspective on your issues. You've taken a good first step in recognizing you have them and need help. Good Luck!
2006-10-06 02:36:02
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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