Why cant my girlfriend and I get married in a Catholic church?

Question

She has gone to church all her life, but the church said she would not be able to go anymore if she married me because I am an atheist and have been divorced. Yet if I was a Catholic who killed his wife then that would be Ok. Needless to say she hardly goes to church at all now, not because of anything I said but because of the churches own policies, she has also started to take contraception now as she does not want to have a child out of wedlock. Is it right for the Catholic church to force women to break with their faith to live in the modern world.

*****And please no tit for tat answers about how good the Protestant faith is compared to the Catholic, I am an athiest and really could not care who has the best faith, if I had to choose one it would be Budism or Islam or something like that and not any of the Christian ones.*****

Your all missing the point. Even if I was a Catholic, I cannot re marry after a divorce because they do not recognise divorce, yet if I kill my wife, serve my sentance, then its ok. Why is it ok in the churches eyes to kill someone rather than divorce them. And is it right for the Catholic church to make it hard for people to live in the 21st Century. Its not about me becoming Catholic or moving so we can find another church. Please read the question fully before answering.

OK for the last time READ THE QUESTION, this is not about me being an atheist or getting married in a church. I dont need comments from nuts who think I am some evil because I do not believe in what they believe in. Please can you read the question correctly before answering. Its simple, WHAT IS THE BIGGEST SIN, GETTING DIVORCED OR KILLING YOUR WIFE SO THE CATHOLIC CHURCH WILL ALLOW YOU TO RE MARRY. Is that simple enough for you.

Thank you paul cyp for at least understanding the question. Good answer but just because someone has served his sentence does not mean he has repented.

Answer 1

The catholic church do have strict rules about this however if you look around there may be a more lenient Catholic priest who is willing to help out but normally you need o attend classes. Otherwise just get married elsewhere.

Answer 2

The Roman Catholic Church is very strict and particular about this because marriage is a sacrammnet or covenant between two people who believe in one faith and willing to take responsibility to bring up a family. This is the general understanding, however, the bishop may accept other cases where both may not have come from the same religion but they are willing to attend catholic catechetism to familiarise themselves with the doctrines before accepting to take the sacrament.

In your case, because you are an a theist and you stand to it, it will be very difficult to wed in the church and it is wrong to blame the Church or try to make your way through false justifications. The Roman Catholic Church is an institution that is guided by laws and in this case I don't think you win the case. Look somewhere if the lady loves you that much.

On the side of contraception, it depends with the lady because because in Briatain abortion is allowed to acertain age even though the Catholic church has a stand on this as killing a young life. On contraception I cannot advice because its the State Vs Religion and its had to win this Case.

Answer 3

Officially the Catholic church doesn't believe in divorce, so once married it is for life. Therefore if they did allow a divorced person to marry they would be condoning bigamy. Officially anyone who is divorced is NOT allowed to take communion, as they have sinned against the churches teaching. That also applies to using contraception, however if those peopel all stopped taking communion then there would be very far far fewer than there are taking part. The Church of England is a bit more open, but not all vicars will perform the ceremony for divorced people.

Answer 4

In order to live out the Catholic faith a person must break with the American culture on many things. I presume that this is what you are referring to by the "modern world". The Catholic Church is not a social club that one chooses to join or leave. It is a community of believers. If you don't believe Church teaching you don't belong to the community of believers. A Catholic can marry a non-Catholic if the non-Catholic partner agrees to raise their children as Catholics. The Catholic Church holds and teaches that divorce, sexual activity outside of marriage, and contraception are immoral acts. It will never condone these things. Anyone who has committed any sin, which is all of us, can be forgiven of their sins. This is not however license to sin again. I can't be forgiven for using contraception while continuing to use it. There are many other churches that people may choose to belong to if the do not agree with the teachings of the Catholic Church.

Answer 5

The Catholic Church believes that God does not recognize civil divorces.

Jesus said, "Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate." (Mark 10:9)

However there may be hope of a declarations of nullity.

The term "annulment" is a misnomer because the Church does not undo or erase a marriage bond.

Rather the Church issues a declaration of nullity when it discovers that the parties were not truly joined by God and hence a full spiritual sacramental marriage as understood by the Church was not present.

Then the parties are free to marry for the first time.

Approach the appropriate person your in your parish who has been trained in the process. If you encounter difficulties, you may go directly to the diocese.

Be prayerful, honest and patient. It takes a while.

With love in Christ.

Answer 6

Living the truth is hard in any century. Your question makes no sense at all. Of course someone who commits a serious sin and then repents of it can marry in the Church. Why wouldn't they be able to? That situation is in no way comparable to someone who is already married being allowed to marry in the Church. God has said "what God has joined no man must separate". The state cannot "unbaptize" someone. The state cannot "unordain" a priest. Therefore by what bizarre logic should the state be able to "unmarry" two people who are joined in sacramental marriage?

Answer 7

A good priest would help you and your girlfriend prepare for marriage and not just kick you two out. You can't have the Catholic mass marriage, but you should still be able to get married in the church. My ex and I were planning on getting married in the chuch, and he was pagan (norse gods). We broke up over something non-religious related.

However, it seems to me that your girlfriend really doesn't seem to want to be Catholic. You stated that she wasn't really going to church very much. Though you may not think it, your religious desicions may have affected her (after all, she can spend more time with you and your obvious dislike of christianity if she doesn't go to church. A loved one does affect how we think about issues). Maybe you two should look into a civil ceremony, unless a church wedding is important to her. If it is, then go and talk to a priest and find out what needs to be done to get the wedding she wants. Otherwise, you'll probably hear for the rest of your life about the wedding.

Answer 8

canon law forbids a divorcee from remarrying in a catholic church,you can ask to have your union blest as did a royal couple some years ago. a catholic that has married a divorced person can attend mass, he/she is barred from receiving the communion and that is all. when the divorced partner dies he/she can receive communion once again. If your previous marriage was not blest in the eyes of God then it is just possible that the caholic church will not recognise its validity. this being the case could allow you to marry in the church providing you both agree to bring any children up in the catholic faith

Answer 9

That's the way their church works. I have never known of a Catholic converting to another religion. A non-Catholic almost always has to convert to Catholocism and promise to raise the children in the Catholic church -- if they want to marry the Catholic partner and be recognized by the church. That's just the way it is -- always has been and likely always will be. They are very controlling.

Of course, it would be very unlikely that your girlfriend would leave the church, or is it? That would likely only spark trouble within her family and other church members. It is a tough situation. Good luck to both of you.

Answer 10

what a difficult question to answer.
i feel it is a shame that people feel the need to depart from their religious denomination because rigid rules make it difficult to live life the way they want to (of course, within reason). i think that catholicism is very strict and that if your girlfriend is already breaking their rules by taking contraception etc then perhaps she should look for a different religious group that supports her choices more. surely it is ok to religion-hop so to speak to find the one that is right for her. i am not advocating a religious way of life by the way, just making a suggestion.
if she is so keen to get married in a catholic church i think that you would need to attend church for 6 months or something prior to the wedding also. are you prepared to do this?
a civil ceremony cannot include any religious words or songs at all, so if she wants a religious wedding she may be best looking for a different church group. i'm sorry that there probably isnt an easy answer for you.

Answer 11

The Catholic church seems to be less flexible than some of the others. Does she want to get married in a Catholic church? Most of them have rules, such as requiring that both of you attend classes and that you become a Catholic. Perhaps you can try to find a relatively liberal Catholic church in your community, which would be willing to bend the rules. Good luck.