my b/f"s oldesy who is 4 has recently started wetting the bed, hitting his brother ,and is showing signs of hate tward things.we think since his mother has not came to see him that could play a part in his change in behavior. he was not as bad as he is now and we are running out of options on what to do with him. we have tried almost every thing we are open to new ideas. and please don't tell me to sit down and talk to him about his feelings because we have tried that over and over again and it DOES NOT WORK not with him atleast.
2006-10-06 01:49:55 · 7 answers · asked by angel_boo_2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well since his mother isn't their I would say thats a big part of the prob.... I would say maybe he just needs alot of extra attention he is only 4, and maybe since his mother isn't their U could love him as U would if he was your own flesh and blood and start out by calling him your son. Exspecially if you and your bf have any children together. He could just feel left out or feel he isn't part of your family.
2006-10-06 02:02:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dealing with step/children can be hard, i have a step/daughter and she is a hand full. But you need to remember he is hurting inside, he misses his mom. and that is not easy to deal with at 4. He's acting out cause he doesn't know any other way to get attention.
try spending a little ono on one with him. Try making him feel special and that he is the center of attention for awhile. He doesn't know why shes not there. he's 4.!!!
have his dad talk to his doctor and get some ideas on how to deal with stress from this!
just love him, and things will work out
2006-10-06 09:14:52 · answer #2 · answered by mother of 7! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 year olds know very little let alone their reasons for good and bad behavior,,you could sit him down and chat to him but he wont understand much,,children do not have the bonus of forsight,consiquence,or the ability to express how and why they feel the way they do,,you may be better trying to distract his 'bad' behavior as his mind cannot focus on many things at once and he will not associate distraction as distraction,,make it fun,,reward him with praise and hugs,,he probably does miss his mum but wont identify this with how he feels,he is incapable of that,,play,talk,be as firm with him as you would your own and dont be tempted to focus more on him than the others,he wont feel special he will just feel focused on and that wont help you,,make time for the family as a unit,include him the same as the other kids,if he talks about his mum tell him the nice version of recent events,,he doesnt,at this age need to know anything other than mummy loves him but you dont know where she has got to,,you will keep trying to get hold of her though,,,it really is all you can do,he may be upset but children have so many other things to focus on it wont last for very long in the day after you have given him an answer,,keep in mind the things he loves to do and if he does start to play up switch his attention to something he likes,,something he can see and speak of,,a bird in the sky,that pebble looks like....i bet you cant throw this in that bin over there,see if it works and keep his dad central to his life,,he needs him as much as a mother figure and at this time,,that is you,,be a family and do as we all do,,,try anything.
2006-10-06 09:19:56 · answer #3 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have a conversation with his doctor about options. He may need some counseling that you aren't able to provide. He could have a hormonal or chemical inbalance causing his behavior. Whatever you decide, don't abandon him. He's crying out for help.
2006-10-06 08:53:10 · answer #4 · answered by Alterfemego 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that if you want to get to the bottom of his sudden change in behavior, then you might want to consider getting him some counseling. Encourage your b/f to start by talking to his sons doctor.
2006-10-06 08:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by melcar12345 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kids just don't start doing this for no reason. You need to get some professional help. Talk to his doctor and have him checked out.
2006-10-06 08:56:57 · answer #6 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Act nice with him. Talk nice to him, when you can speak to him. In rest, ignore his acts. If he is angry, let him alone, to calm down. When you can have a contact with him, be nice....In rest ignore him. Maybe he will see that if he acts nice, people are nice to him too...good luck
2006-10-06 08:58:02 · answer #7 · answered by ota marmota 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋