I have a bad relationship with my mother. She not interested in me and dotes on my brother, his wife and the children. They have made it perfectly clear that im not part of their "Gang"! Should i cut my losses and get on with my life?
2006-10-06 01:27:15 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You know my mum is exactly the same! She is only interested in my step-brothers life (her husbands son) I am from her first marriage. I struggle between:
A) Telling her if she doesn't want to be a part of my life then that's fine...and then stop speaking to her.
B) Be the better person and just accept that she isn't going to change. She can be a small part of your life, but you have your friends and loved ones to be there for you and fill the void.
I get the feeling there is history between you and your mother. I wonder if this is something you can speak to her about? If it is, then I suggest you do. Otherwise, I sugest you get on with your life, don't rely on her for anything (material or emotional) and then you can still speak to her without her hurting you.
Wish you the best of luck hun. I know what it's like not to feel a part of the family. All I can say is create your own and it's not that bad. Like they say 'you can choose your friends but not your faily' so true! x
2006-10-06 01:43:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi if this is the truth which im sureit it then there is no need for you to put up with it anymore. So yes get on with your life as you will find it much easier and happier with out them if they just make your life misrable. If you have tried to patch things up and hey wont then its time to do your own thing and show that they arent getting to you anymore. Its a mean thing for a mother to do but unfortunately sometimes these thigs happen and in that case if she isnt going to be a real mother to you then she doesnt deserve you and you should do what you want from now on. Is there a reason why they dont like you or are they just pick and love to pick at you for fun. Anyways its none of my buiness but i hope you do well and take care in the future.
2006-10-06 04:03:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should. Cuz no matter what you do to impress your mom to be interested in you and/or your life, it's not going to be good enough anyway. Mothers should have unconditional love for their children. Unfortunately, all mothers are not alike. Write this off as a learning experience. Tell yourself you wouldn't behave like this towards your own children because you were hurt.
Spend your energy with other relatives and/or friends who really do care about you cuz your mother isn't the only person in the world.
If you really do have to talk to your mom, cut your conversation short to a minimum and end the conversation. Don't bring up any subject related to you and that she doesn't care about you cuz she isn't going to listen.
2006-10-06 01:56:51 · answer #3 · answered by choosinghappiness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what, I was an only child and felt that my mom didn't care about me and all that. But the only responsible one for that was me for all the mistakes I made, Have you done anything to disappoint her? I made my life apart from her and when I had my son somehow, that brought us together and helped us form a very strong mother/daughter relationship. I'm not saying go out and get pregnant but if you are old enough to go out and live on your own, do so but let her know too. Talk it all out and if you decide to do something about it, tell her. Don't hold any resentment towards her because after all she is your mother and you do owe her respect.
2006-10-06 01:44:47 · answer #4 · answered by bbygrl96 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. If they had told you that you were not part of their gang, then I would cut my losses. Not completely, but I would move on with my life and just call on holidays and stuff like that. She will soon realize what a bad mistake she has made and soon will be begging for you to come home.
I'm going through the same thing with my dad right now, and that is exactly what I am going to do.
2006-10-06 01:31:15 · answer #5 · answered by ceecee_41004 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If they told you to your face that your company is not wanted - yes, yes and yes again - let them go. Why be around people that don't care for you? I sure stay away from people like that and I recommend that you do the same.
My mother bails out my baby brother daily literally with raising his son for free while he lives with a woman and her son that has had him arrested and put in jail several times. But poor ole mom still cleans an estate at 65 for his bond. I say nothing other then I do not want to hear about it. she does not want to hear my advise of Tough Love but instead says that she knows one day she will be bailing me of jail just like him - NOT! If you knew me you would laugh at that. You see, some moms are real dummies. I try with every word not to do the same with my child. But then I gave birth to my mother - live with that and see if you don't need meds - HA!
Your heart will heal with time. Keep positive and you will get through this.
2006-10-06 01:58:03 · answer #6 · answered by MotherNature 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont let it bother you , she is your mom and if she cannot show you love that you deserve then just stay away, you do not need the stress, a mothers child should all get a lot of love from the mother no matter what the child has done in his or her life. Get on with your life but dont let the way your mom treats you bother you. there are plenty of people out there that cares about you
2006-10-06 01:30:18 · answer #7 · answered by daisy322_98 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, if she didn't abort you then you're luckier than a lot of babies in this country.
Lots of parents have "favorites." It's not nice but it happens all the time.
Lots of people think their siblings are the "favorites" whether or not they are. I know my brother thinks I'm the favorite when I'm not; I'm just easier to get along with, he argues while I just go with the flow.
If it hurts you so much, yeah, cut your losses and get on on with your life. But maybe you can just ignore it. After all, they are family. If your Mom died tomorrow and you had severed all ties, it will leave more unresolved issues than if you just ignore their behavior but remain part of their world.
2006-10-06 01:35:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can relate to what you are saying. i fell out with my sister and because of that my mum wont talk to me she didn`t attend my wedding 12 weeks ago. she has know stopped me from seeing my other 3 sister`s who are aged 13, 14, and 16 now that's hard as i really miss them. cut your losses let any dust settle then write her a note to say that you love her as a mum but don`t like the way she as been treating you lately, see if you can reason with her if not or you get no reply from the letter then get on with your life and try to be happy.
2006-10-06 01:47:02 · answer #9 · answered by shayney boy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm 21 and my mother and I haven't spoken since I was eight years old. She use to abuse me as a child so I hated her and never spoke to her since I went to live with my dad at the age of eight. The way I see it she was in the wrong and she hasn't made any effort in 13 years, so at the end of the day its up to you what you decide what to do, and whatever you do choose I wish you the best of luck (",)
2006-10-06 01:36:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋