After talking for a little while, I went out w/this guy a week ago and never felt such an instant connection so quickly. I'm very leary about most girls coming on too strong so to judge a guy's comfort level by his ability to make future plans and talk about a potential relationship and he did both completely on his own. I ended up sleeping over but other then cuddling nothing happened. We talk on the phone daily and have spent every other day doing something 2gether and even a couple more sleepovers. There was one particular "heavy petting" session, but again no sex in any form. We're very open about everything so the comfort level is like i've been dating him for years. He smokes (which I hate) and he's working on quitting so for incentive I brought over this cute lingerie outfit as incentive for him to stop smoking. Even though we're both very sexual, touch feely people we still want to wait for sex b/c we both want it to be something special rather then meaningless sex. (con't)
2006-10-06 01:16:47 · 10 answers · asked by Kyppa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So yesterday hit an all time peak, he called me at work to say hi, he sent me the cute "I can't wait to see u later" text b/4 I came over there. I even went to his myspace page and followed a link to one of his friends where he was talking about how well things were going w/me and how awesome I was. He was being really cuddly last night but not really making out w/me. So as we were going to be and I practically humping his leg, he busted out a psedo "state of the union" address...this is going too fast and i'm not comfortable w/the lingerie being here and i'm not sure where I want this to go so the physical stuff (everything about cuddling) is too much too quick...so basically I was shocked b/c I thought everythign was great). I really really like him and honestly I think he's playing by society's BS rules about the length of time you "should" know someone b/4 you can be really into them. I really like this guy and I don't want to lose him. HELP!?!??! Can I save this?
2006-10-06 01:20:47 · update #1
I also forgot to mention that he made plans w/another couple 2nite and last night as he was telling me he was worried he was leading me on that he couldn't wait to go to the show 2morrow w/me.
2006-10-06 01:23:49 · update #2
I did come on too strong...I know I did...I got too excited b/c i'm not used to guy's treating me well (as pathetic as that sounds)...I really just want to save all this and start over if possible...any advice on how to save this is greatly appreciated!!!
2006-10-06 01:30:56 · update #3
My Dear, I don`t think you have anything to worry about. Atleast not from what you have shared. He sounds as though he is guarded and taking deliberate steps to ensure that the next relationship is built on something more than sexual and lustful gratification. If I had to guess I`d say he has been in a bad relationship at some point and will do all in his power not to follow in the last set of foot steps he made. I`m sure you are absolutely lovely and have only had the best intentions. But it`s time to step back momentarily, regain the cookie if you will. Let him see that you respect and feel the same as he does and that regardless of time frames involved he is worth the wait. He`s looking for a woman of virtue! This could be a rare find for you if you are willing to shift into neutral and let the engine run wild rather than trying to strip the gears and get the sex deed done. I admire you sweet heart, good luck and I wish you would let me know how it all works out. It`ll be great I`m sure.
Jim
2006-10-06 01:31:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-07 20:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by Betty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So when did you come on too strong for him?
Right, so I've read the additional details....Well you sound like a really passionate lady who any guy should be thrilled to have as a girlfriend. You haven't done anything wrong at all. This guy just got cold feet at the point he thought you wanted sex. Don't let his reaction put you off. He obviously likes you alot and he's just a bit scared about "the act of sex". I'm not sure how long he expects to wait for it to happen. Perhaps he wants to wait until marriage! If so then ask yourself if you are prepared to wait. I was a bit like him in wanting to avoid the sex act but eventually I just had to get the virginity monkey off my back. He might reach that point soon with a bit of your gentle help!!!!!!!!
2006-10-06 01:20:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st of all why are u spending the night at his house.. u just started dating and already ur in his bed.. u need to take it slow... ur not gonna be able to hold off sex forever if ur constantly in his bed and then showing him lingerie as an incentive to stop smoking.. smoking is addictive.. he needs to try the patch or something.. sounds like ur just ready to give it up and making up excuses why u should.....him smoking.. give us all a break darlin...
2006-10-06 01:21:20 · answer #4 · answered by Queen D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you are coming on too storng, but his feeelings seem real. You just have to let him come to terms with them on his own. A good relationship is an egg: if you don't hold on, it'll fall, but squeeze too tight, and there's a big old mess.
2006-10-06 01:30:46 · answer #5 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what your saying in the rest of your explain,it sounds like everything is going fine. There must be some reason your questioning this? What is it?
2006-10-06 01:24:09 · answer #6 · answered by kelley1031 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him and just explain that you were caught up in the moment. He seems like he may not be ready to jump into a relationship.
2006-10-06 01:28:57 · answer #7 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are smothering him...back off and set some boundaries. Tell him that since his little speech that you should only go out on the weekends for a few weeks or something.
2006-10-06 01:19:21 · answer #8 · answered by Akela 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats really sweet
2006-10-06 01:20:06 · answer #9 · answered by babybeast 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
seriosuly, possibly gay
2006-10-06 01:24:55 · answer #10 · answered by mark r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋