I use a wheelchair and if I make friends with someone, I get slightly nervous. Some friends I had didn't want to be frends when they found out. What would you do?
2006-10-06 01:00:03 · 39 answers · asked by Boffdude 2 in Health ➔ Other - Health
Thanks everyone who's answered. It showed that not all people are insensitive jerks like those people. Thanks again!
2006-10-06 05:25:49 · update #1
Take care of yourself and do all you can to help, lots of people will
help back . I am half way there since I have a fractured vertebrae (L5) lumbar 5.
and from there down, disks have hernias or only squashed.
Ligaments are calcified, so, to keep me straight I have to wear
a corset with four steel rods, shaped to my body, to hold my
spine straight. This makes me biased as to your question as
there is no corrective surgery to fix my problem because of my
age (69). Your question has often worried me, however now,
I feel well enough to handle household chores, a little slowly but
acceptable. My biggest problem seems to be putting on my socks!
I go out on my own with a walking stick to keep balance, but I
know that my final destination on this side will be a wheelchair.
I sincerely feel that I will not lose friends, and up to now have only
made new friends. This is possibly owing to my age bracket. What
did I do? Started answering Yahoo Q&A and continued my studies
in the scientific field, write blogs. Above all, I wish I could help you more, but I live in Brazil. I can tell you that I have learned more in
the past three years than in the previous 66 years. I wish I could
be of more help but I feel certain that, if you keep your spirits high,
you will make new friends and not lose them.I wish you all the best
and feel certain that you will be all right. You must keep your spirits
high - yours aye, Iain Ritchie
2006-10-06 01:45:04 · answer #1 · answered by Ricky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone doesn't want to be friends with you because you're in a wheelchair then they've got issues - and their issues have developed into chronic stupidity.
If someone wants to be your friend, the reason would be because you have a nice personality. Being in a wheelchair doesn't change one's personality. It's understandable to be a little nervous, especially if you've had bad experiences. However, do you really want to be freinds with someone so shallow? The only friends worth making and keeping are those who can return friendship. It isn't a one-sided thing.
Don't just sell your friendship cheaply to any and every one. your friendship is a precious gift and you need to be selective of whom you give it to. Those who stop being friendly when they find out you use a wheelchair are simply making it easier for you to decide if they're worth your friendship - clearly they're not.
Also, for some people it mightn't be that they don't want to be friends. They may feel uncomfortable around you because they feel sorry for you. If you want to you can speak plainly to them and ease their discomfort. Let them know that because you use a wheel-chair they don't need to feel sorry for you. You're a person like everyone else and if they want to they can accept you for the person you are and not a charity case.
I often find that speaking plainly and honestly is the best way to go when making friends. Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.
2006-10-06 01:27:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've got a good friend who is in a wheelchair - we used to love taking her clubbing because we didn't have to queue and we had somewhere to hang our handbags and a tray for our drinks!!
Seriously though, her being in a wheelchair was never an issue in our friendship, sometimes things were a little awkward on days out etc but that was due to other peoples inconsideration more than anything its a lot easier now I drive!!
If these people stopped talking to you because they found out you use a wheelchair then they never were your friends in the first place.
Don't hide the fact that you use a wheelchair be up front about it then if people don't like it, its their problem not yours!
2006-10-06 01:17:49 · answer #3 · answered by libbyft 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The wheelchair wouldn't be a big deal. I would be a little more aware of how some places just aren't convenient for people with wheelchairs. It would be nice when going to sporting events or such, since alot of times the handicap seating is better and has more room:-).
Just be yourself, anyone who doesn't want to be a friend after they find out, they aren't really good friends, anyways. I always say quality over quantity.
2006-10-06 01:18:54 · answer #4 · answered by Ren 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just carry on as before a wheelchair is only a form of transport after all isnt it the person in it hasnt changed and if those so called friends were real friends it would have and should have made no difference at all i cant believe that people can still be so shallow dont you worry one bit the true friends will want and love having you around just the same take care of you sod the idiots
2006-10-06 01:18:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a sad reflection on your so-called 'friends' that they can't see you for who you are. I, too, use a wheelchair, but consider myself as good as the next person. The only thing I might suggest is that you are 'open' from the outset. Don't go 'out of your way' to tell people that you use a wheelchair, but don't hide the fact. It's sure to come out at some point.
Bless you for who you are ... and that's not from a Christian point of view. I'm not Christian, and don't see that it should make a difference.
2006-10-06 01:27:48 · answer #6 · answered by micksmixxx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those 'friends' who ditched you when they found out about the wheelchair were never your friends in the first place!
Tell potential friends about the 'chair as soon as possible, then they're not shocked - if that's the correct word - when they find out! If they don't want to know you then, that's their problem! Everywhere you go, all through your life, you'll get people who like you and people who don't like you. Not for any particular reason - you might not be their ideal friend.
If the reason for them not wanting to be your friend is your disability, the colour of your skin, your religion or even sexual persuasion then those people are better out of your life all together.
You're legs don't work! So what?
2006-10-06 01:18:40 · answer #7 · answered by Fin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The ones who didn't wanna be friends with you are a bunch of wa*kers!
I'd still be friends with anyone if they were in a wheelchair!
Don't worry about things true friends are what you want so this way your filtering out all the fakes.
Hopes this helps, and keep ya head up
2006-10-06 01:04:46 · answer #8 · answered by badboy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing! They are still the same person ( a friend) and as such I would continue to treat them as I would have before I knew. And anyone who did not want to be your friend because you are in a wheelchair was never your friend in the first place. You are better off with out them, and clearly you are a much bigger, better person than them.
2006-10-06 01:10:55 · answer #9 · answered by Marlene 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What has being in a wheelchair got to do with what kind of person you are? If you were a nice person who made me laugh, and we shared the same values and outlook, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest! A wheelchair is just something that gets you from place to place, it doesn't define who you are!
2006-10-06 01:04:47 · answer #10 · answered by Roxy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋