Ok... ive been with him for a year now...im 20 and a student hes 25 and working and guess what? i dont even know where he works! i always ask him and he evades the question.. his answers always " oh why do you want to know for, you didnt care when we first started dating "
I dont know why hes been sooo secretive, i see him everyday after he finishes work in town and is always dressed in shirt and black trousers.
Maybe hes intimidated because i come from a well off middle-upper class family and got a nice car and he doesnt have a car.. im so confused!
he says he doesnt trust me enough to tell me, and says that i might turn up outside his work,and do something crazy!!! wtf?? please someone give me your opinions!!!!
2006-10-06 00:54:34 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
his clothes dont smell of anything at all, just of his aftershave!! its sooo strange!
2006-10-06 01:05:20 · update #1
I cant even follow him because he lives quite far from me, he lives like 30 min drive from me and he starts work at 9am, he tells me his mum drops him off to work each morning!
2006-10-06 01:06:46 · update #2
The worse thing is, he knows EVERYTHING! about me... and hes sooo controlling, and possesive, hes always accusing me of cheating!
2006-10-06 01:18:14 · update #3
It's possible that he could feel bad or inadequate about what he does or where he works. He may not feel that it's good enough or glamorous enough. Who knows?
If he wears a uniform (the black pants and shirt) he probably works at a place that doesn't pay as much money as he would like to make and he probably has to deal with customers. I wouldn't pressure him or continue to ask him about where he works, he's probably embarrassed about it. It may even make him depressed because it may not be something he wants to do. He's 25. For a lot of people, this is the threshold to becoming old (30) and wanting to do something with their lives. And he may see his life kind of fading and his dreams as well. He may not know how to save his money or budget. Is he often "in a rut" or low on funds?
Another thing is (and I hate to say this but sometimes it's true), he could be a little jealous that you are upper-class and that he has to work. BUT... He might also be disappointed that he can't take care of you the way a good man is supposed to. He may be somewhat angry about that. Anything could be going through his mind about his money, his relationship, his future, his goals in life, anything. He is the only one who knows.
Instead of putting more pressure on him, try to help him. Try to help save and invest his money. Talk to your parents or a financial advisor and learn how to help him make his money grow. Also, and most important, let him know that you have his back and that are there to help him and stand behind him no matter where he works or what kind of job (legal jobs) he has to do.
Treat him sometimes. Let him know that you're his Queen, he's your King, and that he has nothing to be ashamed of. But you really have to find a way to help him save and grow. Men often don't mature as fast as women and a lot of people expect men to stand on their own feet and figure life out on their own. Everybody can't do that. It puts a lot of pressure on the guys. Don't add to it. He may already sad that he doesn't have a car.
Oh, by the way, if he likes to drink often or whatever, be sure to let him know that could be sucking up his finances as well. ...
(girlfriend calling)
Just try to be loving, supportive, and let him know you don't care about where he works, you care about him. Tell him you want to eat lunch with him sometimes... gotta go. Sorry if incomplete.
Try to be loving and helpful and show that you care.
Brother DzL (AsP)
"The Player's Lifestyle" (website)
2006-10-06 01:30:31 · answer #1 · answered by mo2dajizzo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've been together for a year, and he won't even tell you where he works??? I could see it if this was a new relationship and he was embarrassed or something about his job, but after a year you would think you've gotten past that. If he's not telling you this, what else is he hiding from you? His wife and kids on the other side of town?
This doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship from the small glimpse you've given us. A strong relationship is usually built on a foundation of mutual trust and respect... something that seems to be lacking in this case. I won't say to break it with him, because I don't know the whole story... but I'd certainly advise you to look very closely at what you want in life and in a relationship.
2006-10-06 01:32:59 · answer #2 · answered by simplyrelaxinginblvl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he had a stalker. But that wasn't you so it's not a good enough excuse to not tell you after a year where he works. If he doesn't trust you enough to tell you where he works then that's not much of a relationship. One of the most important things of a relationship is unconditional trust. And by him not trusting you only reflects on him that he is not trust worthy. You need to have this conversation with him and if he still won't tell you I personally think you should end things. If he is holding back important information like that then what else is he hiding?
2006-10-06 01:08:31 · answer #3 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After a year and he won't tell you then you need to ditch this guy. Why can't he tell you! That's just dumb. When he asks why you want to know simple...you're his girlfriend. What more reason should you have? What else is he keeping a secret? I wouldn't waste no more time on this guy. He is way too secretive. Double life? Another gir? If it's as simple as he is ashamed then he should tell you and then you can help him get another job or something. Very strange. If he were mine I'd ditch him for being secrative. Now I'm curious....wish there was a way for me to find out what he does!! lol Good luck girl.
2006-10-06 01:20:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is hiding something from you. If he doesnt want to tell you something so trivial then you need to wonder what other things he has kept from you.
Men do feel intimidated by a woman that has more money then themselves but if you have been together for a year he should be used to it and he must know that it doesnt bother you. But I suspect he isnt telling you the whole truth.
Ask for the whole truth and if he keeps making excuses tell him you are going to leave his ar!se for someone that trusts and confides in you 100%.
2006-10-06 01:00:01 · answer #5 · answered by wickedly_funny66 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's keeping secrets like THAT from you after a year of being together, I wonder what else he's kept secret? Seriously, I'd re-think this relationship, if he doesn't want to trust you with something totally mundane and simple as telling you where he works after a year, then why waste anymore time?
2006-10-06 00:57:27 · answer #6 · answered by freyas_kin28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smell his under garments, you may understand.
Alchohol smell - Bar Tender
Oil with food smell - Fast food
Tobacco Smoke smell - Resturant or Bar
Blood smell - Butchery
Petrol/Diesel Smell - Automobile Repair shop or Driver
Hope you will give me ten for my clever answer!!!!!But I am sure of getting two.
2006-10-06 00:58:41 · answer #7 · answered by SESHADRI K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cannot tell you where he works, I would be afraid he is hiding something and if he doesn't trust you after a year I believe I would move on. Kinda sounds fishy to me.
2006-10-06 01:01:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wanna know too. But if you've gone this long without knowing, then would you wanna break up over this? If you do find out though pls e-mail me, cause I'm dying to know as much as you now xx.
2006-10-06 00:58:03 · answer #9 · answered by siany warny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he don't want you to know that he has a bad paying job, If you found out he'd probably think u'd think less of him. He probably doesn't want you to know he doesn't have it as good as you but he cans till make it on his own.
2006-10-06 01:08:32 · answer #10 · answered by Mysterious 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋