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We recently made friends with some people in our apartment complex and the have three little girls. Their oldest is six and they recently said that she has been interested in her own sexuality. They told me this because they said that when my daughter was over there, the two were playing in the bedroom and they said that when they walked back to the room their daughter was trying to kiss my daughter on the lips. They were then discussing what you do next. I am very concerned. Please help.

2006-10-06 00:13:48 · 17 answers · asked by Mama of two 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting Grade-Schooler

I will not send her over there anymore if we are not there. I am also worried that this has already affected her somehow.

2006-10-06 00:21:23 · update #1

My daughter is 4 years old and I also have an 18 month old daughter.

2006-10-06 00:28:40 · update #2

17 answers

Okay, first, it is natural. It's totally natural. Don't worry youself sick hun!
I remember being that age, like 5 or so, and kissing my friend (a boy tho!) on the lips. because I saw my parents do it. I was curious. There was nothing sexual about it at all. Its just a kiss. UNLESS the friend was trying to stick her tongue down your daughters throat I wouldn't worry too much. Obviously the girls felt comfortable to discuss this "foreign" concept of kissing and "what comes next" with each other. BUT it could turn to something more if not watched closely.
They see it on TV and everything, even cartoons have kissing and romantic items all over it.
So the curiosity is natural and yet as a parent I can understand where it's concerning!

For now, talk with your child. Tell her that kissing is nice and fun but only saved for people she loves, like mommy, daddy, gramma, etc....then it's a great intro the talk all parents dread (or at least I did) The talk on whats appropriate touching, whats not, what to do when someone touches you there, etc...
She needs to know this now.

Kudos to the parents of the other girl for telling you. At least they are honest and not trying to hide it from you.
Don't punish your daughter by not letting her see that friend anymore, or she is going to think that kissing is all bad and she might get confused. Just limit it to more public places, like the park, outside, etc....or have her over your house instead.

GOOD LUCK!

2006-10-06 00:39:14 · answer #1 · answered by Miz_Kassandra 4 · 1 1

Curiosity is normal and healthy, but it sounds like the conversation went a little too far. Explain to your daughter that you don't feel that she's old enough to fully understand these things yet, but that when you feel the time is right you will tell her yourself. You should also explain to the other parents involved that you are not comfortable with what happened the last time, and would they please speak with their daughter about this so that it doesn't happen again. It could be that their daughter was simply copying something she saw mommy and daddy doing and wanted to "show and tell". If they can't respect your wishes regarding this, I would personally limit the play time between the two girls for a while.

2006-10-06 00:30:35 · answer #2 · answered by Laurie K 5 · 0 0

We have a child in our neighborhood that did this as well. If it is just kissing than I would not be worried about the effect this had on your daughter. Alot of children especially girls show affection to their freinds. However the concern should be how much further it will go. this was just the first step to the child in my neighborhood who as we found out had been molestered. She than at the age of 5 had "sex" with a boy playmate. I agree that you should keep a close eye on your daughter when she is playing with this child until you are comfrontable

2006-10-06 05:52:43 · answer #3 · answered by ellc123 2 · 0 0

The only help i can give you is talk to your daughter, let her know this is unaccptable. Most peaple seem to misunderstand but even children that age are curious about sex, i speak from expeariance, when i was about 6 or 7 i was a real skirt chaser. My mother had a talk with me and asked me how i would feel about a man treating her like that, and even at that i age i understood. So let your daughter know not to let other kids kiss on her, it may upset or even embarass her a little but you are the parent and left uncheaked this could turn into a unpleasent complex in her later years. good luck.

2006-10-06 00:23:59 · answer #4 · answered by jaguarjake2000 2 · 2 0

You should state how old your child is...and the other kids in question....the reason I ask is that at a certain age it may be curiosity from exposure, but if it's little bitty kids, their may be abuse on their end where the 6 yr. old is concerned. I could give better advice if I knew what age group your daughter fell in. Overall, I think it is completely natural and innocent-remember their mimmicking adults , and not showing gender preference at this age.I think it's great that they have openly shared this with you...so you can monitor the actions...there is a fine line....just try not to invoke shame.

2006-10-06 00:26:14 · answer #5 · answered by jakkibluu 4 · 0 0

Speaking from experience, I would not allow my daughter over there again. For a 6 year old to be doing that already indicates more is going on than meets the eye.

If you want to allow your daughter to see the 6 year old again, and I wouldn't, but if you do, then have her at your house and under no circumstances leave them alone together. If the 6 year old starts with sexual behavior or talk then end the visit and the relationship.

It doesn't matter if it's innocent. That knowledge passed on too soon will impact your daughter. Step in and protect her mom.

2006-10-06 02:20:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 3

|Kids also do this type of thing at school or day care. Dont jump to conclusions and automatically assume its the new adult friends fault. There are alot of kids at the schools with many different backgrounds. This is the most probable situation. When your child goes to school and starts saying things and doing things you dont encourage at home you wouldn't want to be judged for it im sure. Of course always be concerned about such things, but also, get use to it. Every one around influences children not just the parents.

Id also agree with every thing 'Miz_Kassandra' said 2 posts up.

2006-10-06 01:56:15 · answer #7 · answered by CJunk 4 · 0 0

don't make a huge deal of it because it's natural for kids to be curious and if it comes across as something shameful it could be harmful to them both.

I would just tell her its' ok to be curious but there are appropriate and inappropriate ways to deal with that curiosity. Tell her when she has questions about things like that or if her friends do that they should discuss them with their parents and ask questions. When we shy away from sexuality like its dirty and unnatural it can make kids feel like they have to hide things or that they are doing something wrong. Keeping her away from the friend would make it seem as though she is being punished for something somehow.

I think the parents are doing a good thing by telling you about it and you can both deal with it together in a way that is healthy.

2006-10-06 00:26:06 · answer #8 · answered by Nathan arrived 8/4 :) 6 · 3 0

a 6-year old, or a 4 year old is too young to know their sexuality, don't worry, neither of the girls are homosexual. just keep your daughter away from theirs, that is probably the best thing to do now. but don't worry about ur daughter's sexuality preference. good luck.

2006-10-06 02:11:35 · answer #9 · answered by lomatar1186 7 · 0 0

Curiosity about bodies and how they work is very normal at that age, but the kids obviously know that the adults disapprove, so the solution is to have them play in the front room where they are in plain sight.

They'll grow out of it.

Just also remember to tell your child that she should tell anyone "no" who touches her in a way that makes her uncomfortable.

2006-10-06 00:36:55 · answer #10 · answered by Elaura 3 · 1 0

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