i'm bulimic and nobody knows.. ??

Question

i'm bulimic. four years now. I sit, hidden in my room, secretly eating piles of food. i know about the complications, and the outcomes, yet, they mean nothing to me. knowing all this allows me to pretend that I can control the disease, when really, it's the other way round. I feel a sense of revulsion about my body and myself. after bingeing, I see myself for the disgusting creature that I am. I know I should get some sort of help, but I'm not going to my general practitioner about it. I don't want to be labelled as having a mental illness or psychiatric disorder. I think that would make it real, something that's actually a part of my life, rather than just something I'm writing about. I'm not really sure why I am bulimic, im not 'fat', i feel i have a nice body. i work out every day. i eat, and for a few minutes I feel fine, then, comes the horrible realization of what I've just done. i'm a prisoner of my own self image. i'm a male, i'm bulimic. i don't want to live like this anymore.

Answer 1

Hey man, I'm sorry. I'm sure you will get this comment a lot, but, you really have to go out and seek support. Seeing how you have spilled your beans here, you have passed the step of overcoming denial. The problem is that many people don't and can't understand what you are going through, and think that it is easy to stop. I had a girlfriend who was anorexic and turned bulemic. She really struggled with this, and it really affected her and my life. She sought help from a psychiatrist, and it helped her feel better about herself, but she still couldn't control the urges. She wanted to overcome the Bulemia, but was so frustrated that she couldn't. The turning point was when she met my Aunt, who was an ex-Bulemic, ex-Alcoholic, and ex-Depressionist. She gave the understanding and support that my girlfriend needed to hear, and slowly she came to overcome her problem. She is much better now, though sometimes she has to fight off the urges when stress levels are high. Keep your head up, man, but do not hide it from everyone...find a group of people who understand what you are going through or at least willing to help you through it. But if you feel that you can't overcome it, and you desperately want to, you have to seek more professional help. The biggest step to overcome is to let others know that you have a problem and that you are willing to defeat it. You will see how much everyone will try to help you, and you will be glad to let it out in the open, because in the end you will overcome it and you will see who are the ones who really care to support you through this. Keep fighting, you will succeed and it will become just a memory.

Answer 2

It is real, it's not only a part of your life, it is your life.

Would you be embarrassed to be labled as a diabetic, or someone with heart problems? So what if it's a "mental" lable?

I know how you feel about lables, but I'm just pointing out the fact that most people that tend to lable others, have worse problems, so ignore them. Make better friends - a true friend understands.

Would you rather wait until your esophagus bursts? Or, something else happens? Think about that for a bit, because it is possible to burst your esophagus.

You say you know the complications, but do you REALLY? Have you really sat down and SERIOUSLY thought "what would happen if..." (for example the esophagus, but there's a lot more that can happen).

Then think about the good things that will happen if you get control of it.

You can do a lot of damage by vomiting over and over. Personally, I'd rather have people see me as a recovering bulimic than to see my esophagus burst and remember how I died that way.

What about children that you are influencing? What if they follow what you do since you don't get help? Do you have any little ones around you that see you this way? Kids see more than you realize.

Most people already know by looking at you, or just by knowing you, they probably know but just wont say they know. Who says you have to tell anyone you got help anyways? If you are worried about a lable, don't tell people, but I bet they already know or suspect it.

I say put aside your pride and get help. Join an online group for now, then you can sort of get help "quietly."
Just be careful who you trust online with all you say and do.

Good luck.

Answer 3

So get some professional help. The label of mental illness or bulimic is only used for treatment. It's not who you are.

Answer 4

You have already made the first step and realised you ARE ill. Now take the second and find some people you can trust and ask them for help, or go to any hospital directly.
Dont waste another day now. You can die from that.

Answer 5

forget yourself. show love to everyone and it will return to you.