My husband and I have one daughter so far, 19 months old. We want four children. I come from a family of 6 kids, my husband from a family of 3 kids. We are ages 21 and 22, so still have many child bearing years left, but would prefer to be done with having chilren before perhaps age 30-35. We love our daughter dearly and are itching for more, but are hesitant because of our financial situation. Is love and faith enough? Whats it like having more children? What is a good age gap between them? Would it be better to wait, or to go with our hearts and not our heads? Would it be too difficult on our1st and 2nd children if there was say a 4 year gap between them, and babies 3 and 4 were closer together? Or is good parenting enough and age gap irrelevant? We really want our children to have a close bond. Any pointers, advice, opinions, experiences, or stories that are relevant to our situation? Thanks so much!
2006-10-05 19:18:36 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
No..
but i have 2 sisters and 2 brothers..^^
2006-10-05 19:22:06 · answer #1 · answered by andrew_at241 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I come from a family of 5, though I don't have four kids and never would because I saw that my parents couldn't keep track of us all the the younger ones (2 of them) went kind of crazy in the teen years.
I do suggest you read Positive Discipline as a good way to build harmony and respect and have well-mannered kids.
Love and faith may be enough. I'd take the issue one step at a time. One never knows. what life will throw you. Unless your next pregnancy results in triplets you don't have to decide now.
It's best to see how your life unfolds. There's so much good that comes our way unplanned. You can't control kids' personalities or gifts and you can promote a respectful, harmonious family, but some kids are born to rebel and won't care for their siblings. Don't ever think that you get to decide all these things anyway.
I would advise a 2-3 year gap between kids based on how my nieces and nephews are and considering the demands that caring for an infant entail.
2006-10-06 02:31:18 · answer #2 · answered by skellyatsogang 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I come from a family of 3 children, myself being the oldest. The gap of our ages is 4 to 5 years respectively. I was close to my sister, # 2, until I went to high school. I really never got to know my brother, # 3, until he had a famly of his own. By the time he got to high school, I had been on my own for 8 years and was loking to stat a family of my own. We now live in 3 different cities.
I have 4 kids with a 6 year difference between the oldest and the youngest. They are all adults now and have children of their own. They are very close to each other and always have been, that is more than I can say for my siblings. Three of them live in the same city, the other is 3 hours away.
2006-10-06 02:36:48 · answer #3 · answered by FOZ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want four you are going to need financial stability to help support them all. I say the ages should be at least 3-4 years apart so you aren't buying to different size diapers every week because they can get pricey. Also old enough to help with a new baby and know and understand about a new baby, and they can be a little more independent so you can focus on the new baby. This is my opinion but do what you feel is best.
2006-10-06 02:24:34 · answer #4 · answered by medevilqueen 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just make sure you want them and can support them.I have 3 with my ex husband ,he walk out on us saying he was tire of raising kids and wanted freedom for himself ,got involve with a woman who was desperate for security (both on their 40's) and she got pregnant at the first month of dating and now he is going crazy ,he even has to baby sit in the mornings and go to work from 3 to 12 at night an hour away .And the only ones who suffer are the poor kids.If you ask me,I adore my kids 3 or 10 it does not matter is the dedication and the commitment of being a good parent.
2006-10-06 10:25:41 · answer #5 · answered by Alijoy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
im a kid so u might need my advice i come from a family of 4 my mum she sent away my sister when i was first born so i could never see her iv never seen herd or hand contact with her so if u think this might happen to u ur better of with three
2006-10-06 03:42:05 · answer #6 · answered by samantha c 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i had four...one each year for the first 3 years..then my last one was born 3 years after my third...great fun..loved it when the were all small...all married now...wouldnt change a thing..and i was left to bring all 4 up by myself...two sons and two daughters...
2006-10-06 02:23:04 · answer #7 · answered by free-spirit 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Be happy and love them. I see you already do so go with the flow. You two be happy and love eachother and you will be blessed
2006-10-06 02:22:51 · answer #8 · answered by cowboygene2u 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
even 5 for next celebrations
2006-10-06 02:25:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go with your heart,love and faith are enough.Have them while you are young,you wont be sorry.
2006-10-06 02:22:58 · answer #10 · answered by frank m 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋