How close together in age are your children? Is it a good ammount, do they get along and relate well?

Question

Our daughter is 19 months old. We are itching for another baby, but arent at a place in our lives where it would be responsible to have another child. We are very much in love, happily married, and enjoy our little girl very much, but we dont think we can support another child yet. However, we dont want the gap between our children to be too big. At the same time, I almost think that it would be good to wait until she is in pre-school to have baby #2, that way there is at least a little time to focus just on baby. And then perhaps have our next children closer together. What do you think is a good age gap between children? Is 4 years too much? I am 8 years older than my brother and we never could relate and had trouble getting along. I KNOW we dont want to wait that long. And we definetly want more kids. What is your personal experience and opinion of a good age gap between children? Should we just enjoy the one we have until things are better, or have another on faith?

Answer 1

My oldest daughters are 2 years 5 days apart and at age 30 and 28 are still as close as ever. My little two year old was very motherly. My youngest daughter 24 is close to both sisters, but they mother her more and she does feel left out at times.

Personally I don't think children should anymore than 3 years apart. I think it's especially hard on an only child to have someone new come in after they get older.

We were poor as church mice when we had our children. My husband was in the military, but we got by.

It was a very happy time for us having our three little girls, they brought us a lot of joy.

Answer 2

I have 3 children and they are within 3 years of each other, My oldest is 9 the next 8 and the next 6. So when the youngest was born the oldest turned 3 one month later. There is 14 months between my first 2 and 22 months between the next 2.
It did seem like I was constantly pregnant and/ or nursing for a long time!!!
The good thing is I got out of the diaper stage fast. Diapers are very expensive. Now they are all in school together and they play together always. The draw back is that they are Very competitive and do fight a lot, but they also play a lot and are never bored. I think this is because there are 3, so they fall into 2 against 1 easiy, while 2 probably would not do that. They also play well together.
It is a bit expensive to afford child care, but you might get a discount. I was home with mine for a while and if you can be it is good even for a bit. One always seems to figure out a way to make everythign work personally and financially I think, just decide what you want to do and you will work it out. My kids do a lot of things together and the youngest keeps up with the oldest pretty good. They are all excelling students too. Certain rountines are easier with a couple of kids because they keep each other in line, you don't need to entertain them, they entertain each other.
My sister and I were 10 years apart and are not close.

Answer 3

Well, my brother and I are 1 1/2 years apart and we cant be near each other for more than 20 minutes without all hell breaking loose.

My kids are 12 years apart, I had my first in 93 and my second just 21 months ago. The little one loves the big one, immitates everything he does. And the big one is very protective, he has his moments when he doesnt want the little rug rat hanging on his every move, but basically really digs him.

I could barely support my oldest when he was born, so I waited till I was financially ok for another.

Now, 12 years is extreme for some, but I didnt plan on having a whole clan of children that will be raised together so they will always be protecting each other, so it makes me feel comforted that my youngest son has a big brother.

My husband and I had just started to hang out a little and stuff too, we were having fun, maybe to much fun thats where the little bugger came from...lol..but he was worth it.


My oldest can baby sit in a few years, so me and my husband will be able to catch a movie every now and then or grab a bite kid free you know, so the age difference isnt all bad.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

I have three children and I had the same worries as you. The gap is 2 years between each and for me it has worked out great. They play really well together and they can still relate to each other. My brother and I are also at a 2 year a gap and we've always gotten along really well. Even as adults we still communicate a lot. My husband and his brothers are at a six year gap and they're not close at all.

Answer 5

We have three boys
Sam: Dec. 5, 1996
Rhett: Sept. 14,1998
Heath: April 22, 2001

All three get along very well. They are very close at this point & the older ones always include their little brother in games, etc. They have their own separate friends as well obviously, but they even include the others when their friends are at the house, in most things.... I HOPE they stay that way, but only time will tell. They are sooooo much alike & soooo different, yet they get along....
As for telling you when would be a good time for "YOU" to have another child, that is only something you & your husband can decide. Good Luck to you though...
The way I see it, my oldest is 5 years older than the youngest & they are fine, at this point, but then again the youngest looks up to the two older boys & they in turn include him & help him. I still love to watch them together & like I said, I hope they continue to stay as close as they are now.

Answer 6

I have two amazing daughters... 6 and 8... they are so close... it's amazing. Though my 8 year old is getting more "Mature" and is definitely into new things, she still plays with her sister, reads with her sister & sits with her sister on the bus to school... they are so amazingly close, it's scary! ( But good )

I think 18 months - 2 1/2 years is perfect... but thats just by my experience.

Many of my friends have kids with greater age gaps... but the closer in age, the closer they seem to be. Just an observation.

By the way, thanks for the 2 points, I am now at 4000 points...woo hoo... do I win a car?

lol!

Peace!

Answer 7

i have 3 kids. all are girls. their ages are 12,10,&8 . they have their problems with sharing and aggraviting one another, but orherwise get along good. i thin 2-3 yrs is best this way the older child can help you with the baby and allows them to not feel jealous or feel like they are losing any attention or love from you. they also get to grow up together and will learn each other without being too far apart. i think if one is too much older by the time one is reaching teens then the other is moving out and leaving the younger alone .

Answer 8

Their is a 10 year gap between my 2 children. Initially the eldest was jealous, but then when i started to get him involved, IE; feeding her, changing her, he came around. Even though their is a 10 year gap, they still fight like cat and dog, but isn't that what siblings do anyway?
My son is very protective over his sister, which is nice to see. Their is no guideline on how wide apart kids ages should be. You just have to go with whats right for you and your husband

Answer 9

My girls are 4 and half years apart with my oldest being 5 years old and the youngest 6 and half months old. I could not have asked for a better gap. It sometimes seems that we had the baby for my eldest daughter. She is very much a mother hen! They are absolutely enthralled with each other. My eldest daughter helps with every aspect of the baby. Its awesome. I know as they grow up they will be best friends.

Answer 10

hey. i think that if you are wanting another baby now then you should have one. It would be great for you daughter to have a brother or sister to be close to. I am also in the same position as you are now. My little boy is 1 and we are itching for another one. We arnt really great financially but we get by, so im sure we will be fine with another baby. Everyone gets by with money, god wont give you another baby if you wont be able to survive it. So i hope everything works out and you get your 2nd baby. Dont wait too long, its better to have them closer together.