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i have had so much difficulty in obtaining a relationship with the opposite sex. i am moderately attractive, in good shape, have a solid income, have some assets........but love eludes me........there are times im shy......but, there are times im overly aggressive. i never know what tact to take...........does anyone care to share the approach they find most inviting?????? i cant quite figure out how to approach women or when or when not to......i could really use some assistance.......not sure where to go from here...........thanks.

2006-10-05 18:09:27 · 16 answers · asked by blkhawk51 3 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

16 answers

Sounds to me like you know what kinda person you are....now, you need to find someone with similar qualities. By doing that, you just gotta be friendly at first and find out if they are into the same things as you or that they share similar views. Once you find them, then ask em out, and impress them with your personality. I can tell just from your paragraph that you are probably a charming guy.
FYI-never get too close to a chick who just broke up with someone, they can give off false info! Rebound city is just asking for trouble, wait awhile, play the friend role until they start to heal up.
Good luck!

2006-10-05 18:15:35 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0 0

Well, I think that this problem would be solved more easily with a proper mindset rather than an approach. We are all uncomfortable when we start off down this road - the important thing to remember is that ultimately you are looking for someone that you can live with and be yourself with for a very long time. It does not help to put on airs or behave out of character.

What does help is to simply be comfortable in your own skin. To be confident that you are a nice person with interesting things to say. To remember that there are lots of reasons why people (specifically women) would like to hang out with you.

Do yourself a favor and write yourself a list of your good qualities - funny, loyal, hard working, etc. - and then write a list of the things you want in a girl (and I mean everything from attractive, likes board games and football, has a family that likes you, is not extravagant, etc.). Once you have those things done, dwell upon that.

Thoughts become things - choose the good ones. The universe sends what you think about, so dwell on the positive. You might also spend a few minutes each day (say bed time and awakening time) to visualize yourself happy and in a committed relationship. You may not be able to see the particularly, but you can certainly see loving arms around you and your own self happy, loved and fulfilled. Visualize clearly for fastest results.

Peace!

2006-10-05 18:17:31 · answer #2 · answered by carole 7 · 0 0

Well, being overly aggressive is never a good thing. But still be yourself. We all have many facets to ourselves. I've found the best way to find something is to stop looking for it. Things happen for a reason & in their own time. As far as approaching a woman goes, you've gotta be careful. You don't wanna come off like some kind of nutt wanting too much to soon. Always be polite, I still like having a door opened for me etc... Before you approach a woman take as good a look at her as possible in order to decide what kind of aproach to go with. If she's dressed in Chanel, you don't want to start a conversation with "Hey Yo..." know what I mean?? Stuff like that. Good Luck

2006-10-05 18:25:26 · answer #3 · answered by yobaby 3 · 0 0

Try being yourself instead of working on some act. Talk to women like they are anyone else. Be friendly and polite. Don't stare at their boobs! Don't talk about what you have or don't have. It makes you sound desperate. Forget about picking women up at clubs, if you're looking for a relationship. Start doing activities you enjoy by joining groups (skiing, hiking, sports, photography, etc. Talk to the women in your group. You'll have something in common so it shouldn't be hard to think of things to say without being phony. You also set yourself up for meeting someone who likes something you do. Then it's not hard to plan dates where you know you both can be your selves and enjoy your selves..

2006-10-05 18:24:13 · answer #4 · answered by BILL BEAKER 2 · 0 0

Clarie, by no potential run from somebody to somebody ..... It takes time to heal .... yet you had a great guy effect you, your thoughts and you observed the way it may be finished .... Do you presently comprehend the kind you desire a guy to handle you .... the kind you desire to be respected? Then the midsection soreness develop into worth it ..... you discovered ..... no which you have a development .....a concept in an attempt to speak ... you may seem around you once you meet people to work out how persons degree up ... over the years your perspectives and needs & needs would substitute .... yet you have own expertise of this guy to assessment & evaluate to others alongside your existence course .... a individual who's extra effective perfect for you (closer in age) will come alongside ..... i pitty the fool ... he has great shoes to fill ..... yet I wager he will think of your worth it. in the experience that your in school ... try the counsilor for a referal on who to speak with, there may be peer counsiling communities too, the Church can help ..... final shot get the mothers and dads to earnings the medical advantages .... yet your maximum suitable shot right here ... is time and assembly new people. good success

2016-10-02 00:05:22 · answer #5 · answered by mauzon 4 · 0 0

My idea is not to "force it". Be a friend and allow the relationship to grow into something beautiful. Don't approach it from a romantic point of view or else women may end up be turned off.

2006-10-05 18:12:58 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 1 0

you really jus need to be yourself, dont put on an act . us ladies usually pick up on that. now u should be able to tell by the womans personality whether if she would like you to be aggressive or not. if the woman is shy you might have to be a little less aggressive and more of a friendly nice guy at first to open her up. i wish you luck, from the looks of your pic it should be easy for you. if i wasnt married i'd give you a whirl

2006-10-05 18:21:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

well you say that sometimes u are overly aggressive, so first of all you need to get a hobby like working out or boxing.. to help get out some of ur aggresion, noone likes mean ppl... or theres always anger managment ;) lol j/k. but then u need to get out and "mingle" with different kinds of girls,... just go out with ur friends and have fun... some girls dont see a good thing when it's right in front of them, so make them, politely though, lol

2006-10-05 18:26:27 · answer #8 · answered by ??? 1 · 0 0

Stop trying so hard. Be yourself at all times. Most women hate that guys try to hard or that they try to impress. Just be yourself and if they like you, things will be fine. Dont' sabotage a good thing.

2006-10-05 18:11:35 · answer #9 · answered by Ice4444 5 · 2 0

A guy who has a good sense of humour, is confident about himself but not cocky, honest, romantic and has a gentle soul will sure attract me.

Good luck.

2006-10-05 18:17:40 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

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