I might kill myself over a guy?

Question

I love him so much that it hurts, but I can't have him because of our faith (apostolic christian)...we're not supposed to date, we just marry when we feel it is God's will for us to marry someone He leads us to. Anyway, I live next door to him, I see him at church and church social events, and my heart breaks every time I see him. It's been 9 months, and I can't get over him. I might as well kill myself.

he did say he's fighting and resisting falling for me, which doesn't help matters

Answer 1

hmmmmm... tough one please don't kill yourself over him. Maybe God wants you to be together and it's a test if you can resist until marriage, if he feels the same way you do then why don't you just get married, i'm sorry if i sound foward but i'm not really sure how else your religion works. But honestly if he feels the same way don't you think that maybe you were meant to be together and God wants you to be together. I really wish you the best of luck and i hope it works out for you and i hope you are very happy!! whatever happens, happens and i think that you two were meant for eachother. : ) : ) : )

Answer 2

What age will your elder pair you up with someone? Does anyone you know have weight in that person's eyes? I mean maybe someone could let him know that you and this guy could be a good match in God's eyes.

It sounds like your church is not "liberal" in allowing any dating, but the elder must get some idea of how to make couples besides praying. Think of it as another way of God telling him, just not as traditional.

If not, I suppose there must be some sort of way to talk to some in your congregation about how to work out your feelings. You can't be the only woman to have ever felt this way. Some one has good advice for you. Killing yourself would go against your faith, and if you were going to break your faith, wouldn't dating someone be a better way to break that faith?

Answer 3

If you commit suicide you are breaking your religion just as much as if you hook up with this guy so that is just as bad, except worse because some day you will get over him. I almost did the same over a guy once and now (not quite 3 years later) I hardly even think about him. It may take longer or maybe not as long but your day will come when it will not break your heart anymore. Keep busy and that will help.

Answer 4

Please dont go kill yourself over a man. No man is worth your life. I attempted suicide (a weak attempt, but just good enough for the hospital to admit me to the psych ward) when my marraige fell apart for good. My mother also tried to kill herself over a man. It was horrible...the guy is a jerk anyway...he drinks all the time and pops pills and is married and he kept stringing her along for over a year saying he was going to leave his wife. My dad's brother finally had to step in and talk her down from it. Sad thing was he was on his way back from a funeral that day.

You state that your faith wont allow you to date him. Well, perhaps you could pray and talk to God about this, and ask Him to remove the depression that you are feeling inside. Ask for His will to be done in your life and ask for Him to open the lines of communication between you and Him. Ask that He clear your mind and your heart and ask that He reveal His will to you when He feels you are ready. And remember that even though He may not give you an answer immediately, He is there beside you (or carrying you) through all of this. Most of all, remember that what's important is your relationship with your Higher Power. I hope that helps.

Answer 5

Listen, when you are young and in love, you can't imagine anything more painful. But put this in perspective for minute. There are people all over the world really really suffering. Torture, rape,molestation, murder, abuse, genocide, terrorism, and more...and you are thinking of death over a guy you cant be with???? Just think, one day you will be with someone and have those feelings and they will reciprocate openly and it will be the most incredible feeling ever. It may be with this guy and it may be with someone else. But you won't be able to have that beautiful moment if you are dead. Heartbreak is just part of life. It is happening now, and it will happen again. Life is test. Will you pass or fail?

Answer 6

You did not say how he feels about you. I assume that he likes you in return. Not dating means not being seen alone together. What about in small groups of guys and gals? Emails, text messages, etc. At least you can communicate. Love is from the heart, not just the physical contact. You could learn a valuable lesson from this. I live 7000 miles from my current girlfriend. I am learning to communicate with her and her being Thai, she is learning alot too, I think. Because being asian we don't necessarily communicate well man to woman, then again what male and female are experts at it. We both have an opportunity to learn more about each other without the physical contact.

Cut the drama and appreciate it in the ways you can.

Answer 7

You will get over him eventually... or change your religion!

Never consider suicide as an option- it will destroy your friends and family.. Plus christians usually believe that if you commit suicide that you don't go to the good place.. Maybe he feels the same way? You could always sneak around for a while and see how it goes :)

Answer 8

If you are concerned about God's will, how can you talk about killing yourself? How can you even THINK about it? You better stop that crap right now! Anyway, maybe it's God's will for you to marry this guy. You should be asking Him for guidance, not a bunch of strangers.

Answer 9

If you think all you have to live for is one man, you have larger problems and should seek help.

Have you considered those who love YOU? How they will feel if you do this awful thing? How it will color their lives?

If your faith requires you to kill yourself instead of expressing your true feelings, then Im sorry, I would question your faith.

Dead never solved a single problem. Just creates more.

Answer 10

Dont kill yourself. Not for anyone. Tell her how you feel about her. She'll find it so cute. If I were her, i'd love if a guy told me that. Cry if you have to. It'll help. Trust me.