My boyfriend tells me all the time that he loves me and he does lots of nice things for me; things that any girl would love to have. He is a gentleman and does little sweet surprises for me. He is also very romantic and brings me flowers and tells me poems. However, I don't love him and I feel awkward whenever he tells me that he loves me. Should I keep at it and hope that I will love him too eventually or just try to find someone else? I don't want to loose him because he is wonerful. But I don't love him and I am not happy trying to show something that I don't feel. Does love come after a while? Should I tell him that I love him even if I don't? Or, should I tell him that I don't love him? I don't want to hurt him but I want to be happy too. What do you guys think? I keep fighting with him so I won't be aroud him but then when we get back together I feel great and I think that I love him too. Am I weird? Sometimes I think that I'm not capable of loving. Thanks for your answers.
2006-10-05 16:58:31 · 13 answers · asked by Dally J 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you care about him a great deal, you just don't feel "in love." It may be that you just haven't gotten there yet, or it could be that there is no chemistry on your part. How long have you been together? If it hasn't been that long, I would give it a chance. Otherwise, you may want to let him know you want to be just friends. But a word of warning. Sometimes when a man is really nice and affectionate, it turns a woman off. But coming from someone who dated some real a**holes, a nice guy like that is hard to find, and you may want him after he is gone. Ask yourself if he has other characteristics that you like, or if he is really nice, and just plain boring. Good luck!!
2006-10-05 17:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by Lawgirl 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell him that you love him if you don't... Try not to feel bad about it, we can't simply choose who we're going to love and expect that it happen. If you don't love him after a month or two then tell him that you think he's a great guy but that you don't feel the kind of passion towards him that you need to have in a long term relationship.
2006-10-05 17:02:36 · answer #2 · answered by Jason 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My thoughts are that your selfish. If you don't love him or don't have that mutual feeling for him then why are you with him? I do understand that this does happen sometimes, to stop that from happening try dating first it keeps out all the drama and saves hearts from being broken. That's my 2 cents.
2006-10-05 17:10:10 · answer #3 · answered by Tisha J 2 · 3⤊ 3⤋
You are capable of love, you aren't in love with him. Sounds like you are comfortable and miss the friendship when you aren't with each other. When you fall in love, BAM, you'll know it, you won't have to ask anyone because you will feel it, it just isn't with him.
2006-10-05 17:04:02 · answer #4 · answered by smily 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For one thing, everyone is capable of loving. What you are doing is settling, if you don't love him let him go. You are hurting him more by staying with him. If you stay with him and pretend to love him or expect love to flourish then you are fooling yourself as well as him and things will only get ugly.
2006-10-05 17:04:16 · answer #5 · answered by Val 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If yu don't love him then yu don't love him and if yu can't figure that out yu should not be dating. That is one of the responsibilities of dating. Yu have to be able to do what is best for yu.
2006-10-05 17:03:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let that boy reign you too hard, Girlie. But love makes us weak to such things... sigh This be a deep one needing pondering.
2016-03-18 05:28:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a womans nature to be nurturing & loving but,,,he is not for you so dont fake it. Move on,,,,yall can still be friends but ,,not where he's always around not letting you move on,,if that happens then,,runnnnnnnn
2006-10-05 17:07:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask him if he really loves u to give u some time 2 go and think but make sure u tell him that the love he has for u cannot be reciprocated right now because u dont know what love is , he does but u tell him that u need 2 find it in yourself , if he really loves u he will understand completly and give u the space u need , but dont u go depending on him he will try and send u flowers and stuff u make sure u send them back and tell him i asked u for time , and this means time away from u so please no flowers or poems.i hope u find love because its really not fair 2 him sounds like a nice guy.
2006-10-05 17:04:01 · answer #9 · answered by q45dip 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.
2016-04-25 18:15:20 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋