My boyfriend lives with me (and off me), I have tried numersous times to get him to move out , or put him out and he comes back like nothing happened. I have most recently changed my locks and he has no key. I would move out if this were his place but its mine and everthing is in my name so I can't leave. I just started a great new job, my kids are in schools, and I am finishing college up so I have too many ties to just leave. How can I get him out asap? Really, I am just scared to ask him to leave anymore b/c what person in their right mind stays with all the things I have done to put his *** out.He has been physically abusive once before and he is verbally and mentally abusive to me and my children alot lately and my kids are scarred to stay home w/ him anymore. My boyfriend an I have a child together and this is the only thinkg holding me back b/c he is so young that I depend on him for childcare of his son. No one is willing to take on me and 3 kids at once. What can I do.
2006-10-05 16:51:35 · 21 answers · asked by nene 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This jerk is a parasite. I think you need to see an attorney about this situation.
2006-10-05 16:56:39 · answer #1 · answered by urbancoyote 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice I can give you on this is to go get a restraining order. Legally speaking, once you've asked him to leave and he continues to return uninvited, it moves into the category of stalking. A restraining order will (or should) keep him away. Otherwise, he shows up you call the police, he goes to jail problem solved.
The only other alternatives you have are to have someone else move in with you to help watch over you the kids and what's going on, more as a witness in the event something worse does happen.
Or you can move somewhere else.
I am truly sorry that you and the kids are in this situation. Believe it or not though, there are guys out there willing to take on a girlfriend or wife with 3 kids. I'd be one of them, I love kids so that wouldn't be a big deterant for me.
2006-10-05 17:03:53 · answer #2 · answered by KIRRA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to get a restraining order, and call the police if he violates that restraining order. Then pack up all his stuff and put it outside the door for him to pick up. It also wouldn't hurt, if you have a couple male friends you trust, and have them come over and hang around a bit for a little protection of you and your kids in case this guy still doesn't leave you alone. If he wants to see the child, go through the court system and have supervised visitation set up so that he is never alone with the child or you.
2006-10-05 17:03:05 · answer #3 · answered by Bluesman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off if u r serious get a police restraining order get a lawyer 2 document the whole thing . then what u want 2 do is take him 2 court , depending on when the abuse occured and if u reported it, i hope u did, either way try and associate urself with a womans group through school , then what u want 2 do is tell his family that u want him out because of what he has done and if not stopped will continue 2 do . but please get something on paper , abuse report or record him if and when u can while he is babysitting.good luck keep me posted q45dip at yahoo.
2006-10-05 16:59:13 · answer #4 · answered by q45dip 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I remember your story . I told you then and I will tell you now .... Tell him it is over . Let him know if he does not leave you alone you will file a restraint order against him. Better yet ....do it .... You have kids to care for . Why would you put your kids through all of this crap . If you have a Dad or a friend in the police dept. Ask them to pay him a visit to tell him to leave you alone ....
You screwed up once don't screw up twice . Take action now and if he shows up again. Call the Police . Also get a Guard Dog for inside your home .They will alert you if you have someone trying to get in uninvited like ...... Be smart for your kids ...Get Help
2006-10-05 17:02:11 · answer #5 · answered by marshoberg55 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this situation. It sounds like you need to cut all ties and get a restraining order. You do not deserve to be abused and your children do not deserve it. I grew up in an abusive home. Let me tell you it was hard and it is still hard to love a man. I can not trust them because I am afraid of them. I have a wonderful hubby that loves me but it is still hard. You need to move where ever you are and not tell him. You deserve to be happy!
2006-10-05 17:13:09 · answer #6 · answered by jessica h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you may have to get the police involved and a restraining order taken out! If he is abusive to you and none the less your kids you don't need his sorry ***! You can find plenty of good men out there who would lovingly take you and your children! Plus don't be in such a rush for another man focus on telling your kids you wont let another man be so cruel to them even if it is harsh words that is still abuse and sometimes just as damaging as physical abuse they wont forget it and wont forgive you if you let this man continue to abuse you all! Besides who's to say that he not going to start physically abusing them get out while your ahead please! Good luck
2006-10-05 17:01:45 · answer #7 · answered by Jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File a restraining order against him. If he's being verbally and mentally abusive to you and your children, there's no reason to allow him in your house another minute. you stated he was physically abusive to you once. Why wait until he does it to you again, or possibly to one of your children this time? Call the police tonight and have him removed. It's YOUR house, why live there in fear?
2006-10-05 17:00:07 · answer #8 · answered by eyeque195 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call a local church or womens shelter, they have resources and can help you, you need to get out for you and your childrens sake, do not stay with him and he will continue to go, and if you won't do this tell him you believe you both need counseling because something is not right in your relationship. It sounds like you are scared though and I would recommend the 1st suggestion of a church or womens shelter. Good Luck.
2006-10-05 16:57:55 · answer #9 · answered by whattheheck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His behavior would worry me...it is 2006 and there are crazy guys out there...especially his type who likes the comforts that you have provided. I don't think it is you he is staying for, not with that attitude of thanklessness and disrespect. Your moving him out of what he thinks is his nest and he's not going to go gently into the night. Get yourself a lawyer to find the best solution. I wouldn't leave my kids with him either...there is something wrong with him...I don't want to scare you but I am deeply concerned. You are moving up and not taking him along. Be careful. Good luck.
2006-10-05 17:24:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your kids are scare to stay with him, then PAY ATTENTION to that!! Get an attorney and pursue a restraining order. He can visit his kid "under supervision" of a independent overseer. Also contact your local Women Shelter that can guide you in these matters. Check with your local phone book.
Lastly, being an adult is learning how to be INDEPENDENT and dont be "dependent" on him. Youre a smarty pants. You can do it - in fact, for the welfare of you and your kids, YOU MUST DO IT. I wish you well!!
2006-10-05 17:01:45 · answer #11 · answered by rokdude5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋