Why do people chose to have their own kids instead of adopting?

Question

Why is having your own child considered selfless when there are already millions of starving children all over Earth that need people to save them? This is a serious question.

i am 18 so i will not be raising children anytime soon. and to the dumb **** who said this is a dumb question: read the whole thing you dumb *****! I am taking this seriously and you answering that way just proves you're a ****! Eat ****!

Answer 1

at the same time, why don't they MAKE poor ppl get their tubes tied and their men cut?
i mean why would someone who could have a baby be selfish if they chose to have one, instead of adopting?
why are there poor ppl having 10kids? why is that not addressed?

Answer 2

Most parents want a baby of there own it's not about all the other children when you want to experience the miracle of birth. Also you think if there where that many children they would make it a little easier to adopt. My sister and her husband cant have kids so they tried to adopt well there by no means rich and it was gonna cost them like 20'000 to just adopt and that was from another country I hear it's double for American children. How can you put a price tag on a childs head.

Answer 3

Do you know how incredibly expensive it is to adopt a child? A person could go through 3 or 4 pregancies before having their own babies equals the amount they'd spend trying to adopt one baby.

It's ridiculous. I think that after a seriously in-depth background check, meetings with the prospective parents, and a few home visits, the adoption agencies shoud be happy that there is someone who would be willing to take in a child.

And, okay, they need money to keep themselves running, but they'd have more adoptions in the fees were out of the 50,000 dollar range.

And I don't really consider having my own baby 'selfless.' In fact, it was kind of selfish, because I wanted a baby.

Answer 4

I plan to have my first child right out of college. I will be about 23 so adoption is out of the question. I do however plan to internationally adopt also. Probably from South Africa or Haiti.

There are some nieve close minded people who believe that it is impossiable to love a child they did not give birth to. There are others who also try to say that adopted children turn out messed up and rebel at the parents who took them in, and saved them from living in a cardboard box with no food or clean water.

I'm all for adoption and think that it is an amazing thing. I've seen alot of adopted kids turn out great and completly normal.

Answer 5

Have you adopted or considered it? There are children in your own state/province that need homes desperatly, don't forget them. Every one is so quick to want to adopt from foreign countries, and if you can afford it , then what the heck. But most people want that instant bond of birth, the experience of being pregnant and feeling life inside you that you created. It's not possible for everyone and adoption is a good first or second choice. There is nothing wrong with either option, it's just up to the parents to be to decide how their family will come to be.

Answer 6

I'm still too young to actually consider starting to raise a child for at least a few years, so this is going to be all speculation and/or opinion...

I think that the main appeal to having your own, biological children, is that you're carrying on your family legacy. Even if you don't like your parents or your extended family, there's still a little part of yourself inside that child looking up at you.

Sometimes it's harder to love someone who isn't biologically related to you, and it's easier to spot their shortcomings. For example: I love my brothers to death, even when they goof off or we fight. When I'm babysitting other children, it's much easier to think of a little boy as a "brat" because he is fussy and lashes out.

Also, I think that the "Sins of the Father" idea probably plays into this situation. Many people who live in prosperous countries may think that the multitude of starving children is not their fault; after all, the children's parents shouldn't have given birth to children they couldn't support. Therefore, the children may be looked down upon because their parents either had birth control available to them and were irresponsible (or an accident happened), or couldn't obtain birth control and did not abstain from sex.



To be honest, I would really like to have children of my own when the time comes. I like the idea of carrying on my genetic code... I may change my mind between now and then, though. I have plenty of time.

Answer 7

Well, for one thing it's harder to breastfeed a baby when you've adopted. For me, formula is not an option as a food for my baby. So giving birth ensures I will have the right kind of milk for my baby, and I will be able to meet my baby's needs entirely. While adoptive lactation is possible, it is very difficult for some, and impossible if you adopt an older baby.

Also adoption is prohibitively expensive for many. It costs $20K+ to adopt children sometimes. Whereas it cost me nothing to get pregnant, and only a couple hundred of dollars to give birth. If you can spot me $20K, I'd gladly adopt a baby from China in a heartbeat.

Also sometimes adoptions don't go through. I don't want to deal with that kind of heartbreak. And adoptions can take months and years to go through. It took my friend 18 months to adopt from China.

Plus birth and pregnancy are such amazing experiences. I am glad I got to experience it for myself.

Answer 8

Unfortunately it is very expensive to adopt a child. Dealing with infertility myself, I have been researching adoption. And not that cost should have anything with having a child or not, adopting a child is very expensive. Sometimes it is expenses that your insurance would cover, were it your own. I would love to take in 5 or 6 of these poor needy children, and we are fairly well off, but we cannot afford to adopt a child. Sad, but true. Unfortunately we are not all blessed with Angelina Jolie's bank account.

Answer 9

some serious thoughts then.

People want to continue their linage and their genetic heritage. It is almost instinctive. Many women don't consider themselves a woman until they have had their own baby from their own bodies.

And there is a phrase .. blood thicker than water .. and I think it true.

And there are echos in many people's Christianity that children who are up for adoption are somehow less pure and more full of origional sin than other children.

My parents decieded to adopt after my mother had me and was told it was life threating to try again for more.

Several interesting things happened.
1. she kinda of regretted it due to over work and Christian overtones mentioned above. These Christian overtones hit my mom hard after they were about 6 years old .. She had them drummed into her head when she was little .. and they leaked out.
2a. Neighbors and co-workers of my pa were unkind and odd rouomors happened that my adopted brothers and sisters were love children of my pa.
2b. These thoughts did have some basis in truth. A nice young black fellow who grew up in our almost 100% white neighborhood, who was also adopted, turned out to indeed be related to one of the two parents. I cannot remember if it were his mother or father. Oh the scandel for the time .. a 1/2 black, 1/2 white child of a local businessman.
3a. My adopted brothers and sisters are very different than my parents and me .. and yet I am very like them both in look and temperment. So much so that it bothers one of my sisters who really misses our mom who is now gone.
3b. One of my sisters and my brother have found their birth parents and were both so astounded that they were so alike physcially and mentally to their birth families and also felt more at ease with them because of this simularity.
4. due to many reasons .. we now are never close, certainly never close as many other familes I see.

So adopt with care and love.
Hopefully it will work out for you.

But think on this whenever someone says Polyanna-like .. Oh I am going to adopt . without thinking about the issues.

Answer 10

Do you have children? Why should couples not get to experience the joy of pregnancy and creating something that is part of them just because there are children in the world who need homes? Maybe if the system wasn't so screwed up, so expensive & so much to go through more kids would be adopted.
If you had kids of your own with a loving caring husband you would understand why couples have kids of their own. It is not their responsibilty to provide homes for those kids.
Why can't those kids be adopted by loving gay couples who can afford it and provide good homes for them?
Blame the system, not couples who want children of their own.

Answer 11

Money. I have 3 of my own and can't have anymore for medical reasons. I would love to adopt but we can't afford the expenses. Kids cost money I know that, our kids don't do without but to come up with 20K at once is different then making payments on deliveries. Diapers and formula are a weekly expense etc.