i have been with my boyfriend for about a year now and i care for him very deeply. he is going to study to become a resident pharmacist . balancing school, family, friends and me would mean that we would only be able to see each other once a week at most. he told me that he feels it is unfair to me and that i need to make a decision on whether or not we should be together. we used to be able to see each other whenever we wanted to but as time passes we see each other less and less. he says he likes me a lot but he also wants to study pharmacy a lot. the last thing he told me was if worst comes to worst he wishes we'd remain friends.
i'm not sure how he feels about me, i'm also not sure if this would work out...what should i do, how should i approach him?
2006-10-05 15:15:35 · 8 answers · asked by lilian grey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Pharmacy school makes strong marriages weak, and weak marriages nonexistent. He's not even married to you. I'd consider yourself dumped at this point.
I didn't date during Pharmacy school because it wasn't fair. But as soon as I graduated........
2006-10-05 15:40:11 · answer #1 · answered by jloertscher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say. I don't know the situation. Did you meet him before he started college or since he's been in college? You should have thought about this before you began the relationship. Are you going to school? That's the one nice thing because I already went to college for 2 yrs. before I met my current boyfriend. Even though I don't feel like college did anything because I ended up going into something totally different. But if that's what he wants to do then you have to respect that and I guess try to find someone that is done with college or has a steady job. Once a week isn't a lot, but you have been together for a year. So you aren't just beginning your relationship. You do have a foundation and know things about eachother unlike a new couple. But you have to determine if one day a week is enough to sustain your already existing relationship. It is very respectable that he gave you an out if you decide to take it. Sounds like he's mature and honest. College relationships are hard. I have one and the guy hardly had time for me. I'd make sacrifices for him like visit him at work on my days off just to be able to see him. See if he can give you more than just one day. He might be able to try harder. And just saying it's not fair to you doesn't solve the problem. It could be more than just that. Might be an excuse. I hope you find your answer.
2006-10-05 22:23:23 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone can't make you their first priority, the relationship has to be EXTREMELY strong. I am not sensing that yours is. I wouldn't want to spend my time wondering "what if"...So really I think you should ask yourself: Do you want to come second to something? Do you want to only see him once a week? Do you want to risk losing out on precious time where you could have meeting the real Mr. Right?
They say if things are meant to be, they'll be. If you two find that you can't live without each other, you'll be back together. He is trying to do something with his life that he loves and is man enough to let you go if that's what you need to do.
2006-10-05 22:30:34 · answer #3 · answered by Rachael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you guys could always give it a trial run. It sounds like he cares alot about you...and doesn't want you to get hurt. So maybe talk to him and say trial for a month or two and if your not good with it, then you guys should be friends. You never know ..it might not work out good right now...but whose to say you couldn't get back to gether later on. good luck.
2006-10-05 22:20:16 · answer #4 · answered by jessdjnick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is pushing the relationship aside. If someone wants a relationship to work, they will find time for it, even if it is only on weekends.... Because of a weird work schedule, my marriage was pretty much weekends only for a few years... But we stuck it out, and it is still strong.
2006-10-05 22:19:13 · answer #5 · answered by from HJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would sit down and talk to him about your concerns cuz if he really cares then he would make sacrifices for you! i'm not saying just quit school but....come on now, once a week. he needs to find time! and about the other thing....i would just follow my heart! that's what i would do...
2006-10-05 22:23:01 · answer #6 · answered by Conchita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know you want to talk with him and tell him to finish his schooling and that you will wait on him if you really love him and see where his head is at when you tell him that good luck
2006-10-05 22:20:43 · answer #7 · answered by poda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't choose between his job and you?! If he loves you, you'd be his first priority. You should talk to him about it, tell him how you feel. And honestly just realize you're drifting farther apart as time has passed.
2006-10-05 22:20:18 · answer #8 · answered by Goose Feet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋