My boyfriend had a really really bad childhood. Everyone he ever loved failed him and let him down over and over. We've been together for a long time, and he is really scared hes just setting himself up for a fall. I want him to believe that im alway going to be here and i wont ever leave him, but he has built this wall around his heart and i can't get in. He trusts me 100% but hes afraid to really really love me because hes been hurt sooo much. Is this one of those things that only time can prove. Do i just need to ride it out, untill hes secure enough with me?
2006-10-05 14:38:26 · 11 answers · asked by Misty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's so sweet! Most women don't give a damn what kind of childhood a man has had. If you really want him to feel safe with you, always be kind and thoughtful. Keep telling him you love him. He's got to feel secure with you eventually, so be patient and try to cheer him up. The past should not matter anymore. It is up to you to make him forget about it. Do anything you can to make him think about things other than his past. He will REALLY appreciate it if he likes you! I think you are both very lucky. Good night!
2006-10-05 14:47:05 · answer #1 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one to answer not knowing the guy but here it goes. The first thing you need to ask yourself is whether or not you plan on spending the rest of your life with him. If there is any inkling that you may not be together forever then dont make him believe that you will be because you will end up being a part of the problem. I you can see yourself with him when you are 70 years old searching the house for your teeth with him then tell him things like that. Make him believe that you will be there talk about what you want your house to look like, ask him what kind of kids he wants boys or girls what kind of animals does he want. If all else fails then time will only help.
2006-10-05 14:47:11 · answer #2 · answered by tindalos29 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good question,, i hope this helps..but if he is scared of being hurt then he hasnt been hurt enough, i dont mean to sound mean,, but if he had been hurt as much as he claims, then he would be hesitant not unwilling to be loved by someone,,i know i dont open my own doors to my sul to just anyone, and once i lock down i rarely openm them,, good luck but ride it out...it will be worth it
2006-10-05 14:44:06 · answer #3 · answered by kewl69charger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea..i think u should have him get help. i dont know your financal situation but if you cant afford that you should prove that your worth the risk. sounds like a tough situation and i feel for you. i really hope the both of you get through this
2006-10-05 14:45:09 · answer #4 · answered by raq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same situation .. Just love him.. Let him know of evryone who does. Make him feel great he will get better over time I PRO MISE
2006-10-05 14:43:01 · answer #5 · answered by x0hEEE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow my ex was just like this...i would say stick it out even if you break up cuz of this continue to be there for him and give him some time to figure things out in the end if he figures it out and knows you are still there for him and love him he will wake up and realize you and him were meant to be...
2006-10-05 14:48:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, but he could ultimately walk away from you. If you don't see any progress over a year's period, he may just enjoy being damaged goods.
2006-10-05 14:50:13 · answer #7 · answered by read c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok wait for the time that he can trust you enough and be patient! i know he will realize someday that he won't get hurt w/ u! good luck!
2006-10-05 14:42:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs counseling and you need to go with him at times, too. He needs reassurance. Prove yourself.
2006-10-05 14:41:12 · answer #9 · answered by s h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ya
2006-10-05 14:45:33 · answer #10 · answered by sunshine&rainbows 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋