What would it take to get a guy to trust you?

Question

Not in the way you would think... :)

There is this guy that I am head over heels in love with. He admitted taht he felt he was "not good-looking enough" to be with me, and worries that I would just end up breaking his heart anyway. He loves me, but he's afraid to really give his whole heart.
What's the best way to convince him otherwise? Can my time and attention and dedication help him to overcome his fears? Or is there anything else that would help him? I've told him and showed him over and over that he's the most beautiful thing in the world. What does it take?

Answer 1

well.. the first thing to win anyone's trust is by trusting them.
if you trust him.. u'll win his trust too.
and secondly if he feel some what inferior that he is not good looking enought to be with you ( who he thinks is very beautiful )
my only suggestion for you would be try to tell him that , u like the thing in him the most ( something in him that he thinks is not good , like it can be his eyes, abnormal nose.. something like that ).

but you know waht ...i appreciate the efforts you have been doing to help him over come. u really are a sweet girl. i think you really know how to love someone.
you're picking person not from looks, and thats a great thing, which most of the people don't do.

* let me remind you guys one more time, " no one is perfect " , we all have flaws either its external look or internal "

so just cheer up and try to love someone for who they are not to hate them because they are not something that u expect.

Answer 2

It sounds like he has some confidence issues. This can stem from a few different things depending on the guy.

My bet is he has either had something in the past or had been repeatedly rejected by other women. If I was his friend I would tell him "Suck it up! Now you have a girl and you are just making yourself look unattractive by saying that you are unattractive. I have a face for radio too!" Guys are usually pretty easy. The hardest part is getting us to talk OR letting us figure out how to put it into words we can understand.

As a girl... I don't know if you can get away with that one. Does he have many friends? Does he get out very much? Does he work out?

Lack of friends, lack of activity, or lack of hobbies can lead to a form of depression. Physical activity helps endorphines... Endorphines are GOOD! Lifts the spirits. Just eating healthy helped me feel better. Start a work out program, learn how to cook together, get started in a dance class together... Nothing like learning how to trust not to step on each others toes.

Go shopping and pick out outfits for both you and him to try on. I would go find something hideous just to make my girlfriend (now wife) laugh.

The biggest thing, when ever he is talking down about himself... CUT HIM OFF! Tell him something along the lines that he must have a pretty low opinion of you if he thinks you are going to leave him just because Brad Pitt walks into the room. The spoken word is very powerful. If he is talking like he is ugly all the time then he believes it. If he starts doing things and SAYING things to increase his self image... that is allowed. I had a Judo instructor make students cry if they said "I can't.." Once they started saying "I can..." they were champions. Same thing here.

Hope something helps...

Answer 3

If you have never given him a reason to not trust you, there is absolutely nothing you can do. He is simply insecure and, as I see it, you have two options. If you can't deal with it, leave him. If you can, just let time work wonders. My husband was the same way and it has been tough at times dealing with his insecurities. But, this is something that he is aware of and has been willing to work on; when he needed extra reassurance, I simply gave it to him rather than getting frustrated with him. Time has made him more self-assured and I wouldn't trade him for the world. He is my best friend! Good luck to you!

Answer 4

what he is really saying is, when you wake up and see that your going to be, hit on by guys that he won't now how to deal with it, (example,icould shoot before i could walk)and you'll miss judge the whole thing, maybe you had great looking guys, this is a tuffy to answer but I've seen an awfully lot of toads walking around with a princess in tow, so go figure?, i say if you are a woman who can stay the course. fine but if you gotta be there for "show time",(grandstanding) when your out together it won't give him a moment with out stress, write down to your: own self be true list, of what can't work and what can and know where to see you Happy there or are you still trying to "adjust" him out alittle more?=that's a bummer

Answer 5

Trust has to be earned. If you really love this guy and assuming he feels the same way, patience is the key. If you are not willing to wait and just be friends until he feels safe with you, then let him go now. Otherwise, take it slow and continue to show him you mean business and he will come around.

Answer 6

He may have been in a previous relationship that ended with him getting hurt. He also may have low self esteem about his 'looks'.

You present a worrisome challenge in that you are perhaps 'too beautiful' to be with him.

He sees this as problematic and that it can only head in one direction for him. Downhill.

You have to tell him it's NOW OR NEVER and that you can't wait for him any longer and to believe in you and take the chance of someone loving him for him instead of letting it slip away.

I hope you win.

Answer 7

Well all you can do is keep on showing how much you care, if he still dont get it well maybe he never will. Sounds like he has already been hurt once or twice, give him some more time as you sound like you think he is really worth all your attention.

Answer 8

From my point of view, about this situation I think if he doesn't believe that he's good enough for you or trust you there's nothing special because a relationship is based on trust and to me it seems like he doesn't trust you with his heart.

Answer 9

Patience and consistency in your affection and reassurance. He probably has low self-esteem. Boost his self-esteem by giving him ur time and attention. When he feels that u really do love him for all that he is, he will commit and give u his whole heart. Much luck!

Answer 10

Tell him that you're willing to do what it takes to earn his trust and be with him, but that you won't wait forever if he's going to be insecure. It takes two to tango, and if he isn't willing to put himself out there, then you're fighting a losing battle.

If he continues to be this way, let go and move on. Continue to be his friend if you want, but close the door on relationships.