What if....I don't want help?

Question

You know, I'm pretty young and all, but that isn't the point. You therapists think I'd be too young to claim I'm crazy or anything but uh...It just seems that way.

I have anxiety, depression,mood swings, I'm a pyromaniac, I love blood, dark things, I draw but I can't always draw what I want to, I isolate myself alot, easily irritated, pent up emotions,suicidal, so on and so on.

So as the title says.. What is some of us weird/insane people don't want help? I mean... We like being different and all...but living in a fantasy world 24/7 won't help us with the real world.. I still make good grades in highschool, but I feel like it's not worth it.. Even though it is, to do all this work. I feel used, you know? Constantly being picked on, no "true" friends {They use me too..the 'friends' anyways..}, being depressed whenever I think about it. You know how it is. I just don't know..

So yea.. back to the question.. What do I do if I don't want help?

Yea, I know... BUt I just have it on the tip of my tongue, you know? I can't really figure out what it is yet...

Getting worse huh? I made myself this way, you know.... I wanted to be crazy or whatever then I just went with the flow when I mentally started seeing things and my dreams were right there at the tip of my fingers. Feeling them, tasting them. Everything, even though things in the house have no texture like the things in my dreams. Plus I don't sleep walk..

Some say I want to get worse..

I know what I "need" ... I just can't get it. It's too far out of my grasp and the other things I "need" are definately not even touched by mankind. Only in my dreams until they're disrupted by the stupid alarm clock.. e_e;; -Sigh.-

Oh, right. I know. I made the belief up, but it really does set my mind free. It's like living in another world only....I'm planted to the reality world. ~.~; But anyways.. I know I can make a different belief system for myself, but I just really love this one. It keeps the annoying kids away and sometimes if it's bad enough, my parents will leave me alone. I have so much pent up stress and no way to release it. Screaming? No way... There's nearly no privacy around here. Crying? I can't force myself to cry and it takes alot to make me cry anyways. I'd need a useless beating or something. Punching bag? .... Uh.. No punching bags around here. Pillow? Tried. Doesn't help. Beating up someone? I don't want trouble, you know. Animal beating? ! What?! oO; Any of you who would have tried to attempt to tell me that would get an instant no. I love my cats.

I suppose it's just up to me.... But uhm...yea. I just wanted to see what you guys would say,then.......

so lonely...in this world...

Oi, oi... I know what I'm doing and I know the consequences. I'm brave enough to face the fact but I have too much hope to commit suicide. Burning things around here is hard, so I don't get to do much of it. Taking a life? I could deal with it, trust me. I just might not like the idea of police and jail.
I know my consequences, okay?

Oh, and... I'm not in a "me" mode. I do thinks about others. Probably the most thing I do all the time....... Just... Don't show my feelings..

Yea, thanks..everyone...

Uhm... -Sweatdrop.- I'm not 18....Actually...I'm 14....

Answer 1

I am a therapist. no one is ever too young to feel like you do. Your feelings are real, and they are what they are. The question you need to ask is are you happy being unhappy. If you are then be what you are.
The only time for change is if you want it. One of the primary criteria for any mental health problem is that the individual identifies it as a problem.
If you do not want help live your life they way you want. At some point you may get sick and tired of being sick and tired and think that trying something new may help.
I might add though that if your life spirals downhill and your issues impede or affect others that help may be forced on you. If you try to hurt your self you may be locked up against your will in a psychiatric facility for a period of time. If someone else is hurt worse can happen.
Think about all this, the consequences of your choices not on just you but others.
However, I full support your right to be as happy or miserable as you wish. I support your right to live free.

Answer 2

well, I used to feel that way when I was younger, maybe your age, and trust me, you need help. But nobody and nothing will be helpful if you don't want to help yourself. I really can't give much advise now, since I'm going through yet another dark time on my own. But I've seen it before, and I really don't care at all. Because I know that this thing that we call life is about the ups and downs, going back and forth; one day you have everything you ever wanted; a beautiful girl, a nice job, a loving pet, a few good friends, etc. but the next you don't even have a girlfriend, but you always know, that nothing can last forever, not even the bad times.
So relax, have a laugh, try not to be so serious. If you lose your ability to laugh at yourself, then you're better dead.
Try to find a purpose for your life; and I don't mean "saving the world". What is that you consider "beautiful"? From your question I can perceive that you already have an established code of moral values, (friendship, hypocrisy, justice) but you might not even notice you have them. It's always easier to list the stuff we don't like over the stuff that we do... try to think of all the things that you hate, and try to find an opposite.

I've always hated self-help and optimistic literature, being so naturally atracted to depressive, self-destructive stuff, and I always stop listening to anybody that has even mentioned such books in my presence. But in college a professor put this book called "Man's search for meaning" by a guy named Viktor Frankl on my hands, and things started to change, honestly. I really recommend this book, since I firmly beleive that this could be a good starting point for change.

You're not alone..... don't you ever forget that.

Answer 3

All your therapist can do, at best, is talk to into helping yourself. So you see, the only real help is self help. But you had better decide soon. At the rate you're going, you won't be around much longer to decide anything. HOPE IT WORKS OUT FOR YOU AND YOU DECIDE TO LIVE. Life is short enough the way it is. You have to change the way you think. You don't have to believe it at first, that will come with time. But you came up with this belief system, so you have the power to come up with a different one.

Answer 4

It is your choice if you are over 18 and out of the home. You sound like you are one hell of an artist! Instead of trying to draw what you want to, just let the pencil flow. Just keep being honest with yourself and IF the time comes and you WANT the help, get it. You sound intelligent enough to know what you are going through. I enjoyed my comfort zone until I became uncomfortable. Then I moved on to the next phase of my life.
Keep up with the art work and if you can, paint a blazing inferno. Sounds like that could be an inspiration for you(and less dangerous)
As Shakespeare wrote: "This above all, to thy own self be true"

Answer 5

The only reason you would "need" help would be if you were a threat to yourself or those around you (pyromania may be dangerous... depending on how manic of a condition it is for you). Otherwise, feel free to live with your bizzare idiosynchrocies and don't let anyone jam meds down your throat! Enjoy the things that make you different, be yourself and you will eventually find like-minded (or at least, open-minded) individuals that you can get along with.

Good luck

Answer 6

Sounds like you are enjoying the shock phase and don't want
to give that up. You like being depressed so you can have a crutch to get you out of commitments and obligations. I bet you
are driving your parents up the wall or else your are trying to
get their attention. You don't want help then continue on. But
with choices come responsibilities for the consequences of
your choices. If you keep setting things on fire one day you just might take a life. Are you ready to face those consequences?
I say you need to stop thinking only of yourself. Get out of the
"me" mode and start growing up. One day, if you don't kill
yourself, you will wake up as a grown-up. Good luck with your
rebellion.

Answer 7

If you don't want help, don't get it. If you're content with who you are then you're good to go. If you would like for some things to change but not get professional help, maybe do some research online or go to the library and read about whatever it is that you'd like to change.

Answer 8

After reading your question, I have the feeling you really do want something....but I can't for the life of me figure out what that might be.

Answer 9

Tell whoever is suggesting you get help.not to bug in when you dont want to.Not everyone wants help and that is entirely up to them.But you know if you dont get help your gonna get worse.But it sounds as though your sucking it up and being brave.So im sure your a strong person inner flesh and outter flesh.

Well *weird* is a hurtful word to say.And no i dont think your weird,but i do believe you did the right thing by telling people...about your problems.Which means you should be longing for help aye?


Honestly i believe everyone in this world has weaknesses,i was also suicidal from 13 yrs to19yrs old.I am a anxious person socially physically and mentally.I tend to worry about alot of things everyone does.No one is saying you want to get worse,im sure there saying your gonna get worse if you dont get help.Well you dont want help tell them to get lost and leave you alone.until your ready you will soon know when you want to.Dont force yourself to ,but if your deseperate like me then you will find it in yourself to get help.But im sure your just brave aye................Im depressed who isnt?have you heard of postnatal-depression?its common and im sure theres alot of people with same symptons as you.You sound like a goth?Emo?nothing to be ashamed of,but im sure your a good person inner flesh and outter flesh.......


Omg you know im watching you lol........Hey you dont need to hurt yourself......You dont need to slaughter someone else....YOu need to get friends.Your going crazy man....Are you making this whole thing up?Cause in that case im kinda concerned bout you.

Answer 10

Let me ask you a question. Are you happy now? being alone. coz you shut the world out. What do you really want?