Etiquette: Who should apologize?

Question

A saying about arguments: "The man should apologize, even when the woman is wrong."

In general, I agree with the saying for the more mundane arguments that men and women get into. When the man is wrong, he should apologize. Any man should have the strength of character to admit when he is wrong, and should apologize appropriately.

When the woman is clearly wrong, the man should still apologize. The man needs to allow the woman to gracefully exit the argument without making her feel stupid or belittled or ashamed. The woman should then accept his apology gracefully and not turn his apology into an opportunity to embarrass or ridicule him.

When it is not clear who is wrong, the man should still apologize. Again, after both have spoken their minds, the man should apologize for the argument. The woman should accept his apology gracefully.

Agree or disagree? Why? If a woman, do you find this offensive and patronizing?

Answer 1

Whoever is wrong should apologize. When it is unclear, then perhaps both should say they are sorry.

For a man to apologize to me when *I* am clearly in the wrong is offensive in the extreme. If I do something wrong, I am just as honor bound and should have just as much strength of character to take the consequences as a man.

Anything else is saying women are not to be treated equally by men, or considered their equals, but that they are lesser beings who need to be mollycoddled.

Answer 2

Well I certainly disagree with what.Why should a man apologize for something he didn't say or do? It has nothing to do with being a man or woman.Who ever is in the wrong should be the one to say "I'm sorry" If the apology doesn't come, try to sit down and talk about it and come to a compromise before it gets out of hand.
You asked women if we find this patronizing.Personally I think you belittled a man who would do this unless you were trying to make him sound so good and if that's the case than the man doesn't know how to stand up for himself.Women want men with a bit of a back bone.
Again compromise and apologize only when in fault.

Answer 3

I disagree. I think that an immature relationship may benefit from that sort of thinking. However a man who follows this mode of thinking will end up a hen-pecked yes-man. Nobody wants that. Not the woman, not the man.

The person who has seen the error of their ways should be the one to apologize. The bigger person should say that they understand the other person's feelings even if they still think they are wrong.

But to lie and patronize a person and say "yes dear, you are right dear" well really all that does is reinforce the person's point of view. Nothing is settled and nothing is learned.


Good LUCK!

Answer 4

I don't think it's a man/woman thing when it comes to apologies. I think it's personality. There are some men who have no problem with apologies, and some that do. Same thing with women. It turns into a battle of wills sometime, and I think women apologize when they're right just to keep the peace way more than men do. I have never heard of the statement made in your first paragraph!

Answer 5

No man should apologize for anything he has not done wrong. When it's not clear who's wrong, usually the man would end the bickering by letting the woman have the last word, but I don't believe he should apologize. If a woman demands an apology from a man who has done no wrong, the man should stay away from her.

Answer 6

I think that whoever is wrong should admit to being wrong and both should apologize to each other if the disagreement becomes heated. The man shouldn't always be the one to apologize, that's demeaning for him and puts the woman is a place of power that she may not deserve to be, depending on the situation.

Answer 7

Both people involved in the argument should apologize. You should be sorry for arguing with eachother, arguments are a big thing to some people and can quickly change someone's view about another person.
Whoever was wrong should also apologize.

Answer 8

Whoever is wrong should apologize. It's not fair for the man to be stepping on eggshells when it wasn't his fault to begin with. Doing things like that may even encourage some women, thinking they can get away with anything.

Answer 9

It doesn't matter who is in the wrong .. just be the bigger person and apologize. If too much time goes by without anyone apologizing, it will ruin the relationship forever. Good Luck! :)

Answer 10

I find it to be something from yesteryear....when things were more civilized and less stressful. I wouldn't find it patronizing,unless of course the man WAS being patronizing....his tone,his words. I think that it takes a person who REALLY has it together to do this,man OR woman.