I am 13 and I have a 16 year old brother. He was my absolute friend for my entire life, up until I was about 10. Those years we didn't have any other friends because we were homeschooled, eachother was all the friends we had. We were really close, we never went a day without talking and discussing something we liked. Now that he's 16, he has a computer, a game, and friends online he's never met before. They all seem more important to him than anyone in the family now. A few minutes ago, he said he can't stand any of us and doesn't like us (love was on the tip of his tongue). We haven't done or said anything against him. He barely has to do ANYTHING. But he complains about us as if we are the scum of the Earth. It's hard hearing those words from someone who used to be my best friend and hero. I love him more than life itself, but I don't think he feels like that anymore. What I'm even more afraid of is when I turn 16, will I be the same? Will I hate my family? How do I deal with this?
2006-10-05 13:00:23 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Lots of people go through a bitter, sullen stage when they are teenagers. Don't worry, adolescence isn't terminal and the brother you know and love is still in there. He is just buried under a load of emotions that he doesn't yet know how to handle. Many people deal with those emotions by become very self involved. This leads to selfish and bitter behavior. The real challenge of the teen is to avoid both the common "drama games" and to be sympathetic/ empathetic, focusing on how others may be feeling. Right now he is wrapped up in his own feelings and they confuse him, so he is acting rather like Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde. He needs love and support, but don't let him run over you or infringe on your rights at any time. His attitude may be improved if your parents seek counseling for him, themselves, or the family as a whole. But it is possible that a lot of his teen years will go by with him switching from Jeckle to Hyde-- often. Even if this is so, the brother you remember and love will emerge for brief periods of time during his teens and be back for good sometime in his 20's. I know this sounds like a long time to you, but the odds are against him "growing up" before that. And believe me these teen years will fly by.
The good news is that you can focus on and cherish those brief moments when your brother's "Dr. Jeckle" is around, and that you can choose to handle your teens in a better manner. You have a triple advantage here.
1. You have the blessing of being the younger sibling and can, if you choose to, learn from his mistakes.
2. You are a girl and girls are usually better at avoiding this kind of behavior.
3. You sound very mature for your age, and this will help you deal with the confusing emotions of your own teenage years.
Chin up kiddo. You'll make it. One day you and your brother will laugh about this. Just remember to meet your challenge of avoiding "drama games" and to focus on how others may be feeling. Also, remember this part of your brother when you start thinking about having children of your own. Perhaps this will help you put that off until you feel like you could handle living with a bitter teen 'cause they don't stay cute little babies for long!
2006-10-05 13:52:40 · answer #1 · answered by DidoDeeDee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through something rather similar with my brother but all his friends moved in with us and he treated me like garbage, only when he grows up will he realize his love and need for his family and you may be able to get things on track a little later, i wouldnt stress about it now as its just a phase he's going through, let him mature and then see what happens.
2006-10-05 20:08:47 · answer #2 · answered by ♡MaNda♡ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRUST ME IT JUST TEENAGE THING WHEN HE IS 18 HE'LL GO BACK TO LOVING OLD BROTHER BUT NOW ESPECIALLY AT HIS AGE EVERYTHING ANNOYES HIM PRETTY EASILY AND AND U KINDA WANT TO GET AWAY FROM UR FAMILY. I HAVE THE THING SINCE IM 16 TOO AND JUST GIVE HIM SOME SPACE AND LET HIM BE HIS TEENAGE SELF
2006-10-05 20:23:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
right now his probably going through some thing i say just let him have his space for right now and talk to him later he may need u in time
2006-10-05 20:06:42 · answer #4 · answered by Beautiful 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its those teen years talking. hes just going through a lot of "boy" things. and he is wrong to treat you that way but try to understand. if you love him enough then you will be able to wait for him to be nicer. goodluck
2006-10-05 20:56:53 · answer #5 · answered by i am the dream u r the dreamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give your brother some space, he'll come around. Just don't try and force him, he'll figure out how important his family is on his own.
2006-10-05 20:05:58 · answer #6 · answered by sweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he just spend too much time with you he dont mean half the things he's saying i know im 13 too
2006-10-05 20:02:56 · answer #7 · answered by tiggerbabez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust me evry1 is not the same
2006-10-05 20:02:53 · answer #8 · answered by ;p 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋