The child didn't get here on his/her own. It took 2 parents. Both parents have an obligation to that child. Every child has a right to support from BOTH parents. One parent should not be able to take away the other parent's support from the child, should they?
2006-10-05 12:37:57 · 15 answers · asked by julie j 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
What I'm suggesting here is that one parent is stealing from the child by denying that child what is rightfully his or hers from the other parent. Whether the father is a jerk or abusive does not excuse him from his parental obligations to his child. There are other ways of dealing with those domestic abuse issues that wouldn't effect the fulfillment of duty to the child, and wouldnt make the child suffer needlessly.
2006-10-05 12:55:54 · update #1
My cousin does that. I dont understand it. She says that if she takes him to court to get child support he will try to take her daughter from her and tell the court how she uses marijuana.... however, he held a gun to her and her daughters head a few months back and the police were there when he did it (they were there because someone called the cops about domestic disturbance). I think shes an idiot. But, whatever. When her daughter gets put in foster care she will have no one to blame but herself. (she was told she had to stay away from him because it was child endangerment... but she hooked back up with him a couple weeks ago...)
2006-10-05 12:42:46 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley P 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Through life experiences, I've found several reasons why women or men don't want support from the other person. The # 1 reason is, the state steps in and collects child support and whether the person pays or not, the person thinks they are entitled to harass or threaten the child/parent. When the person doesn't go for support, it is much easier for the child/parent to have a stable life or for the parental rights to be terminated. Lots of times these parents who don't seek support, know the kind of person they were with has a criminal background, is an abuser, is immature or knows the relationship isn't going to work. The majority of people I've known who raised the child alone without support, worked, and did a good job. Some of them eventually get married and the child is adopted by the new father. It is really traumatic on a child to see adults arguing constantly, choosing whose weekend it is, calling rarely to never, a true lack of commitment. It is by far, much better to have one very devoted parent. I agree that it does take 2 parents to raise a child but Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles can be good role models too in the absence of the other parent.
2006-10-05 20:07:37 · answer #2 · answered by kriend 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Usually because the guy is a jerk. I agree the father has an obligation to support the child and not depend on the taxpayers. The father also has a right to visitation too if he requests. But a woman does not have to take the support. but when the child grows up and starts asking questions about the father and the relatives on the other side what will she tell them.
2006-10-05 19:51:22 · answer #3 · answered by Bigboi47 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, it depends on the sittuation I guess. If both parents remain good friends, I don't see why the single parent doesn't ask for child support from the other one. But if both are either in bad terms or if the father is abusive or something like that, I guess it is wise for the mother not to seek child support.
First, if you give the father a chance for child support, then you allow the father to be involved in the child's life. Sometimes, life is better off without the father involvement, both to the mother and the child. If the father is abusive and/or alcoholic, gthe child might be influenced to do bad things too...
Second, it's sometimes better for the mother sake. I don't ask child support from my partner, because I don't think I need it so far. I told him I'd ask him if I need anything. My son is breastfed and toilet-trained, so I don't need money for formula or diapers so far. I personally hate to be dependent on other people (or ask for help) if I still can handle it alone.
I realize every child has his/her right to see both parents, but as far as support goes, I think the child can get support from anyone. If the support bring bad relationships between the parents, I'd just forget the support and raise the kid alone. It's good for him/her, and it's good for my mental sake.
2006-10-05 20:00:33 · answer #4 · answered by meetha 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Obviously those single mothers have their reasons why they do not want the support. Just because the child is not recieving the support (money) doesnt really affect the child. And parents do not take away the rights, the courts do. When they do, they usually have good reasons. For those women who do not want the support, that is their desicion. If they are working and taking care of their child then good for them. Maybe they dont want to take money or anything from the guy because they dont want to be dependant on him. It makes sense. I know a lot of single mothers who do not want the support (money) because that is just one more issue between her and the guy. And i dont see any guy beating down doors to pay child support, in some cases the father doesnt want anything to do with her or the child. Yes it does take two, but sometimes its much easier doing it alone than finding the guy, going to court, and wasting precious time going after a creap. That time could be spent with the child. Its in issue that has always been disputed and always will be. Thats life.
2006-10-05 19:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by LaAlicia 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think a lot of single moms do this because they don't want to be bothered with the father at all, and although visitation and support are two separate matters, many women feel that they want to raise their child without any interference from the biological father. If he is sending money he may next want to visit. I am not a single mom but I am a single parent now. My ex pays child support and causes all kinds of problems with the kids; he plays head games with them and they are much saner when he is not around. The extra money, of course, comes in handy but nothing is worth the price of a child's sense of security and if a mother alone can do that, then more power to her!
2006-10-05 19:51:18 · answer #6 · answered by mab5096 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
In situations where there was domestic abuse, it's not safe to be connected to the father. Abusive men use the child support system to track down the mother and child. It's not good when that happens.
2006-10-05 19:48:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Honey, sometimes it is most important to deal with matters by yourself, without adding more aggravation and stress to raising a child alone.
Took two parents alright, but when one is not working as a team, the custodian (mostly mothers) must choose what is best for everyone, including her emotional well being
2006-10-05 19:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
My aunt does the same thing, i dont understand why she wouldnt want child support from the jerk.
2006-10-05 19:45:47 · answer #9 · answered by Baby_Phat 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That really depends on the situation, what if the father was abusive?
What if HE doesn't want anything do with the child?
What if he has a drug problem?
What if he makes bad choices with the people he associates with?
It's not always black and white.
2006-10-05 19:45:07 · answer #10 · answered by Corsetry 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋