Advice Please!!!!! This Child Behaviour Is Going To Drive Me To Drink!!!!!?

Question

My grade 2er has been getting into trouble at school lately. Nothing of a very serious nature, stuff like not listening, disturbing the class, not returning from bathroom breaks cause he stopped to play on the way back to class etc. Like i said, nothing BAD, more annoying. Regardless his teacher and bus driver are finding it annoying so we have to confront it. We talk, explain, give concequences, remove privledges, pray for the best. The next day he does it again. ANY IDEAS!!!!!! Oh yes, and he's charming., and he knows it.

Waxing the Turtle___ the "so what?" of it is the fact it means the school is calling and they expect results.

Answer 1

Sounds like your child is craving ATTENTION. Children love attention and negative attention is better than no attention. Some kids are very needy meaning they need lots of extra attention and they go out of their way to get it.
Spend as much time with your child as you can, playing games, going to the park, and cooking in the kitchen.
You can use these as a reward for good behavior at school. Tell your child what behavior needs to change and then tell them everyday they get to do something the grown ups do. You can let them help clean or wax the car, play on your computer with you, have a special game, get the mail, etc. Make a list of some grown up things you can do with your kid, they love the special attention and the grown up feelings. This is positive reinforcement.
Never use negative reinforcement like taking away certain things your kid likes like TV, video games, play time, etc. If you do they soon forget what it is like to have the things they like and the bad behavior continues. Giving consequences is OK as long as it is not threatening them to comply to your wishes. Consequenses should be for their actions like: If you get the school bus driver upset then you will have to walk to school and leave an hour earlier. That is ok but always follow though. Never ever say you will do something and not do it. That is not only non-productive it sends the wrong message to the child.
Once he gets more of your attention, I think his behavior will change slowly.

Answer 2

It sounds like you are trying everything except maybe forgetting POSITIVE reinforcement. Instead of punishment or removal of privledges why not turn it around and make him earn a reward? Think of something he really, really wants and start a behavior chart. If he gets so many in a row or in a week or month (whatever!) give him that reward. Children, as I'm sure you know, perform best when praised. I know you can't and shouldn't praise him when he doesn't deserve it, but try to set it up so that he can earn stickers at first for very small achievements. If he is charming then I'm sure he is also intelligent. Stop with the lectures because they are doing no good except giving him attention (albeit negative) and only give attention for good behavior then make a big deal about that. Good luck. He's young and hopefully will grow out of this phase, but you sure don't want it to become a pattern.

Answer 3

Set limits, (boundaries) and explain consequences. If he crosses the boundaries, then he has to pay the consequences. Make the consequences logical and pertinent to the infraction. As in "If you hit your sister with your toy, than the toy is going to be put up and you will not have it for , you will have a time out until you calm down, and you will be asked to make amends to your sister as well." He is testing the boundaries of society, this is normal for someone his age. If you really feel you aren't getting through to him though, you should maybe ask the school counselor for ideas.

The only thing that I find a bit odd about his behavior is the getting distracted on the way back from the bathroom part. It sounds like he is unable to maintain focus. I don't know that he is ADD, and I'd be concerned that if I brought such a concern up to the school they'd want to medicate to solve the problem. Seems to me like they pounce on the idea of giving kids medicines to keep them in line. (Not all schools, mind.) You might mention it to his doctor and see what they think though. Don't mention ADD, just say "I am concerned about my son, because he doesn't seem able to maintain his focus during simple tasks for his age group, , what do you make of this?" and go from there.

Answer 4

i had the exact same problem with my daughter when she was in first grade but they didn't tell me it was such a problem till 1 mo before school was out. It took about a week of consistant dicipine consistant is the key. If she came home with a bad report she new she was in trouble. Like you said your sons behavior isn't awful just annoying. You really don't want him to be THAT kid that every one dreads cause he will catch on to this and have low self. I think most of my daughters problem was boredom she would finish her work early and then thought it was ok to do as she pleased. she was on red apparently every day and was even moved into the hallway a few times. Had i known about it sooner i would have taken care of it sooner. Being a smart child is no excuse. It is to your childs advantage for you to teach him self control.

Answer 5

My oldest daughter also a 2nd grader was getting into trouble at school and at home. All minor stuff. I got her a Senior Friend (Its actually a college student), and signed her up for some counseling to help resolve the problems she is having/creating. It so far is working out very well.

My daughter is an overall outgoing, bubbly, happy, cheerful person. Was just making some wrong choices. Now we have better plans that we are working on.

Answer 6

You have to find the underlying cause. It sounds like he might be a little too smart for his own good. So maybe if the teacher can give him extra things to do. Like helping her out or working ahead so that he doesn't get bored. A lot of times a child like that just needs some control over something.

Answer 7

He might have A.D.D or A.D.H.D.

My cousin acted the same way when he was diagnosed. Talk to the teacher about the possibility, and than take him to a doctor who can help you check to see if this is the case. Also, try getting him into martial arts. Kids who have disciplinary problems tend to better in behavior when doing martial arts. I wish you the best of luck. :)

Answer 8

Hi......I know he's young and learning what they can get buy with,but you have too stop him now,tell him u r the mom and when u r bad u r going to just sit here at the table every day when u get home until it's time for dinner and bed.Keep doing this day after day after day......until it gets boring to him,and then let him play or watch TV...BUT THE MINUTE HE ACTS UP....IT'S BACK IN THE CHAIR!!! AND DO NOT GIVE IN...REMEMBER YOU R THE BOSS !!!!!

Answer 9

what does he say as to why he is acting the way he does? Start with his reason and work your way through the problem. Just because he is charming is probably why no one takes the situation seriously. but his behavior could get worst, if u don't nip it in the butt. Maybe there is something serious going on--

Answer 10

well...its probably just a stage (hopefully). If he doesn't act better, than take his privelages away. If he still doesn't iprove, give him a dollar and say that everytime he does something bad he has to HAND YOU a portion of the dollar. Seeing that his money slips away every time he acts up, he'll stop or become broke. Once the behavior ends, slowly stop giving him the money, perhaps everyother week...ect.