really need some advice?

Question

Im a single father of a 3 year my wife died in a very bad autoaccident not her falt when my Daughter was just littel over 1 years old a few weeks back i heard her playing in her room a lone and it really sounded like she was talking to her Mommy she said some times she see me crying and she likes to play with her toys and likes when daddy takes her to the zoo or store i neaver tooken her to the cemetery and when she asks me about Mommy i just say Mommy is with god honey and it seems to buy me some time is what she is doing normal like talk to nobody or do you think maybe she can see her mommy some how also when is a good age to talk to her about this i try my best to be honest with her other family members think now is a good time some also feel its ok for her act like this im just a little scared and worred i dont want her to be a afford to ask me anything or say anythign to me

Answer 1

My son was one yr old when my mother died. A few months after her passing, he would talk to someone, but no one was there. I would ask who he was talking to and he said grandma. This happened numerous times. There was one time my son came by me and I thought he was going to come give me a kiss, but he went beside me and kissed the air. I said Who are you kissing and he said grandma.
If she asks you any questions answer honestly and at her level. I would talk to her now so as she grows up, she will know and things will be easier for her as she grows up.
My son is now 6 and doesn't see his grandma anymore. But we still talk about her being in heaven.
When he was talking to her, I would ask what she looked like and he would tell me exactly what she looks like, it was strange because he was only one when she passed.
Pray to God for guidance and all will be fine.

Answer 2

I'm sorry about your wife. I wouldn't worry too much about your daughter. When kids are young, they do have imaginary friends and your daughter may be pretending that her mother is there. It is perfectly normal. I would start talking with her more about her mother. It will also help you through the pain from losing your wife. Talking about the good times together and answering your daughter's questions will help both of you to heal. I would take your daughter to the cemetery and let her put the flowers where she would like her mother to see them. It will be hard for you, but go on your wife's birthday, mother's day, and any occasion to pay your respects. Healing takes time and you never completely get over the loss of a loved one, but the memories will always be in your heart.
Good luck and I wish you the best!

Answer 3

Your wife's spirit is still very much alive. Your daughter will see her as plain as day because she is a child and the veil is still thin between our world and the other side. Don't discourage her. Ask her questions about mommy. Tell her you are glad mommy is there to watch over her when you are not around. This is a good time to reinforce the truth that when people die we will always be around the ones we love, watching over them, keeping them safe.

Answer 4

Children talk to themselves all the time. Some children will have a teaparty with their dolls pretending there is actual liquid in the cups and that the dolls are talking.


The Power of Pretend
"Fantasy play may seem to be all about having fun. But on a deeper level, psychologists say, such play aids a toddler's adjustment to the world in several critical ways. Manipulating objects-such as dolls, puppets, or stuffed animals-gives kids a sense of power and control over their environment as well as their own bodies. "

I do recommend you going to the sites I have found for you and check them out.

Answer 5

Don't worry about your daughter. She's not seeing Mom but she may be talking to her because that's comforting to her. Don't think about 'right times' to talk about it. When she comes to you with questions, answer them honestly and plainly. Where is mom? She is with God. Why is she with God? She died. How did she die? She died in an auto accident when you were one years old. You really don't have to think about it too much. Just answer her and if you both start crying, it's okay. If she's scared about the crying, just let her know that you two are sad and miss her.

What I really recommend is that you and your daughter see a therapist at least once a year, together and seperately. It is great to be able to talk about things and if the therapist becomes aware of any oddities that need to be addressed, listen to them, but I very much doubt that will be the case. Good luck.