So what’s the contract between parent and child? I give and give and what do I get back?

Question

Someone to learn from me and continue my philosophy? The continuance of my genes? What’s the use of any of that? Just write a decent book and you’ll have many more followers than you could ever have children. Undying love? That’s doubtful! Someone to take care of you when you’re old? Unlikely since I’ll be in some retirement home with no privacy or self-respect. With some stranger paid by the state wiping my butt. Which might be preferable to having your kid do it? If it’s just a sacrifice, then why bother, if the kid is supposed to grow up and make money for the family, including you, then that might be something? He has to pay back everything, from before he was born, for years of effort to raise him, schooling, &c. His job is to get an education, grow up safely and rationally, get a job, excel and advance, and pay you back. If you don’t tell him that or insist upon it, then you’ve failed as a parent? What am I missing?

I am speaking philosophically, and question the validity of anyone's answer who responds to my question with a personal attack.

I think I assumed too much in asking this question. You people don't seem to get that there is a philosophy called objectivism which suggests that the best, most civilized way of interaction between human beings is reason and fair trade. The alternatives to that are mysticism and collectivism, which involve force. So either there is a contract of some sort between parent and child or I am missing something. Please enligten me. I'm not a monster abusing kids I want to know the answer so I can grow.

Answer 1

I wouldn't say that there is a "contract" between parent and child. Each person gets back something different even when doing the same thing. What you teach your children will carry on your legacy...your ideals in life and continuing your family name. No matter how hard you try, you can't make someone love you - and not everyone can love. Don't know why...it just is. There are many people that care for their parents as long as they can, but there are also conditions that don't allow it to happen. My grandmother has Alzheimer's and needs 24 hour care. It is impossible for anyone in the family to devote that care to her. She is now in a home and is happier than she has been in years. What gives most parents such joy is seeing that their child, their offspring is growing and learning and developing a sense of the world and you have something to do with it. You as a parent have the ability to raise another human to help make the world better (or worse) than what you made it. Just as your parents did for you. All I ask of my own son (who is almost 2) is to become a wise, productive, kind person. Just as my parents did/do of me. The difference between ignorance and stupidity is that ignorance can be cured. I hope to raise a child that isn't "stupid" and is very open minded. If I can do that and my son knows that no matter what, I will ALWAYS love him (whether he loves me back or not), then I know that I have succeeded as a parent.

Answer 2

I am amazed that anyone would seriously consider having a child "pay back" all the money you spend on raising said child.

Also, there is no contract, this is not a "job" where you can negotiate pay and hours and conditions.

Having a child is a choice, and YES sometimes it is a chore and YES sometimes it is unrewarding and stressful.

My son is 2 1/2 and he is the funniest little man I have ever met, he brings me so much more joy than I could have ever imagined possible. Sure there are times when I rant and rave and scream into my pillow because he's put Vegimite on the couch.

I forked out THOUSANDS of dollars in the first 18 months of his life for a skin condition that he was suffering greatly from. That was not his fault, and I would never dream of expecting him to pay that back when he gets older.

No Child ever asks to be born, it is a choice we make as adults, therefore any expenditure should be at your own cost, and not one that has an expectation of being repaid.


*** Please note, any reference to "you" does not mean you as an individual, but more the collective, universal you.

Answer 3

Well if all your looking for is someone that can do something for you then children aren't for you, and that is OK, not everyone needs a kid or 2 some people feel they have to "take care" of someone to feel fullfilled in life, others want a challenge, and some people think that they are going to have the next Tiger
Woods and won't have to worry about anything when they get older. Nobody thinks they are going to have the next John Mark Kar, or BTK, or nobody would have kids and you wouldn't have got the chance to be here today. So go out there and get a good education if you think you are going to pay your parents back, you will have a long road ahead of you. And remeber money can't buy 9 mo. of getting fat, having heart burn, swelling of your feet, just to get 24 or more hours of extrem pain, to be ripped open and sewen shut for 18+ yrs of ungratefulness

Answer 4

You are missing everything. Did not God make us and tell us to multiply? How do we carry on the human race if we do not pro-create?
Here is an example:
I have two boys, grown men actually. I have someone to give my money to when I die and a legacy (photos, collectibles, cars etc). And I can pass my business on to them and my home so that they will never be on the street or without money. With all the love I have given them from the minute they were born I know they would take care of me in my old age. Remember we are all living longer and longer.
I know several couples that did not have kids. They now will die in a resthome, give their money to charity, the state will take their home and cars, and they are ill and no one cares. What an existence? Just think when your family all dies no one is left to care. I see it all the time. An uncle and an Aunt never had kids. They said they miss out on LIFE, they died unhappy, lonely and the state got everything they owned. Why did they work? What for? Just to give it all to the Government?
I will use all my money to see lives go on, happy, prosperous, and grandchildren grow up with trusts so that they can start a life with money. Why not?

Answer 5

You are missing the whole point of parenting! You are to love your child unconditionally, not expecting anything in return. If you do this well you will raise a mature, responsible person who will return all of the love you have given him/her.

Find parenting classes at a community center or church in your area, before it is too late for your children. With your current attitude they will grow up to hate you. Counseling would also be a good idea for you, since you have some very strange ideas about life and you sound like a very unhappy person.

Answer 6

A heart and soul. If you dislike children so much I suggest you practice celibacy and do the world a favor by getting sterilized. If you raise the child correctly they WILL take care of you when you're old, love you unconditionally, and help to provide for the family. It's called instilling values and morals in the child. Obviously some place your own parents failed miserably.

Answer 7

I hope you don't really have a kid right now. You're not mature enough for one.

There is something called love. It's something that you give, simply because it's so welled up in you, you can't help but give it.

I don't have any children of my own yet, but I have a niece that I love so much I don't even know how I stand it. And if I love that little girl so much, how much more would I love my own kids?

You don't have a kid so that they will love you. You have a kid so that you can lavish love on them.

But hopefully you wont have one until you can fully understand. A child deserves better.

Answer 8

Man, u should not have kids. U already sound like u don't like them & think they're pointless. Maybe in 5 or 10 yrs you'll be ready, or u could be one of those that just aren't cut out for kids & prefer not to have any. They are a lot of responsibility & cost a lot of money. But they are also very loving & fun. Where a condom and maybe down the road you can take it off!

Answer 9

There is no "contract" between parent and child. The parent has children because they WANT to give of themselves, they WANT to teach, to mentor. If YOU don't want to do either I suggest you don't have children. If you are looking to get something back after your child is grown don't have children. As far as their "Jobs" as children they don't have jobs...their's is only to learn and grow and make their own decisions in time. Hopefully you've instilled good values in them and that they will implement these vaules but there are no guarantees...nobody has signed the "bottom line" when one has a child except to pay the hospital/doctor bills, there is no "contract".

Answer 10

do no longer waste some time with a settlement. the only way a man or woman is going to stay drug loose is that in the event that they willingly try this. you're able to write up a settlement and supply the international to the guy, yet while they nonetheless desire the extreme from the medicine, they'll take the medicine inspite of your delivers in any settlement. you won't be able to get a druggie off of the medicine with using any settlement. they could flow with the aid of a software willingly and build it interior of themselves to stay off the medicine. All you may and could do is supply ethical help and pray. the rest could basically wasted attempt.