How to stop a toddler from sleeping w/ us at night.?

Question

We have a three year old (our oldest) that we made the mistake of letting him sleep in our room on the floor at night when he just turned two (It was a weekend of thunderstorms). He kept doing it so we just let him. It has now come back to bite us b/c he is 3.5 and won't sleep in his room. He has a younger brother who he shares a room with (2 yr old) and he sleeps in there fine.

The 3y/o will sometimes fall asleep in his room with his brother while watching a movie but he eventually ends up in our room on our floor. Sometimes he wakes up crying b/c we aren't there and we have to go get him. I haven't put much effort into making him sleep in his room yet so I wanted suggestions and strategies.

Are there any tips on how to stop this besides taking a couple weeks to just keep putting him back every night when he tries to come in? The problem with that is waking his brother and he is very stubborn.

Answer 1

There is a TV show called SuperNanny, and she deals with this practically every week. The first thing she does is have the parents put the child to bed lovingly but quickly. When the child gets up, the parent calmly but in a firm tone says, "Bedtime," and nothing else while walking the child back to bed. When the child gets up for the third time, the parent walks the child to bed without saying a word. Every time the child gets up from there on out, the parent says nothing and puts the child to bed. It takes many repetitions, but the child eventually learns that there is no reward from the parents for getting out of bed. Same thing in the middle of the night. It seems to take 3-4 nights of this, but I would think it would be worth it to get your bed back! Good Luck!

Answer 2

You've certainly created a monster. Maybe you could start out by buying or putting together some kind of bed for him and put it in your room. Tell him and show him on a calendar or however you want to do it, a certain amount of time where he and his bed will be in his room. Make it colorful and make it fun. Take him to the store and go bed shopping with him...he'll see something that he likes and when he does, use this to your advantage. Tell him you'll get him the bed he likes but he has to sleep in his own room. This is going to take persistance and continuity. Every single night and probably 3 or 4 times a night. I feel for you. But if you stick it out, and it's gonna take a while, you'll accomplish your goal. Good luck.

Answer 3

The problem is he feels safe and secure with you. Some long talks about the safety of your whole house. Also about how he is your treasure, and you wouldn't let your treasure sleep where it isn't safe. If you have religion, talk about the angels that watch over him. And tell him that he has to be nice to his brother, by sleeping in the room with him. Let him know he can come to you anytime he is scared or has a bad dream. Then let him know that it is a new rule that he has to sleep in his own room.
Yes, he will come to you in the night for awhile, but your patience will show him that you aren't really unavailable, just in different rooms. I had to do this six times :(.

Answer 4

This is not going to be easy. You need to put him to bed in his bed and tell him he is too old to be sleeping in Mommy & Daddy's room and that from now on he will sleep in his bed all night long. For each night for a week that he sleeps in his room without you having to return him to his bed, he will get a star on a calendar and when he gets seven in a row, he will earn a special treat (of your choice, of course, just be sure it is something he will like a lot) after that you shouldn't have any problem with where he is going to sleep. LOL

Answer 5

you poor thing that is the worst thing to do let the little one sleep with you, I know they are so cute but you have to draw the line there. It is going to be hard and you have to be strong about it and not give in. I suggest you put them both to bed and try reading them a book, something that is happy or funny so they forget all about the scary things, maybe play a music CD with kiddie songs for them, a light on in the hallway and reassure him that you are right there and will check on him every now and then. Even if you have to keep putting him back in there for a few weeks every time he gets up he will finally see that you mean it. Tell him he's a big boy and has to keep his little brother company
tuck in in with a few kisses and tell him that you will see him in the morning and anything that you will be doing on that day, something for him to think about and look forward to. Or tell him to stay in his bed and think about what he wants to do for tomorrow and if he's a good boy and goes to sleep in his own bed that you will do what it is he wants to do. Good Luck

Answer 6

Hehe, good luck, my parents tried *everything* to get me to stop from coming into their room at night. I would wake up in the middle of the night, and go and sleep on their floor. And did it till I was like 12. Heh. :)
But now that I think about it, I think I was just scared of the dark. Maybe something as simple as a nightlight could help you out!

Answer 7

It is good that you are stopping it now.
My brother had the same problem and his newborn is now 11 yrs. old and some nights my brother has to sleep in another room so that his daughter can sleep with mommy. It has been a continuous struggle of the child sleeping with them.
The only way is to tell the child no, you are a big kid now and it is time that you have your own bed.
If the child "sleep walks" and finds himself back in your room, remove him nightly. If he cried, tell him to stop and ignore him.
It is well worth it now and harder to change as time goes on.

Answer 8

The best way to keep a kid in their own room is to make his bedroom more fun and safe than yours. You could introduce a big teddy bear to him for his room. Might work as a way of protecting him when he's scared. Then the other thing is to buy "fun" things for his room. I work in a furniture store and we have this slide twin bed with a tent on the bottom and all the kids love it. Many parents buy it for their kids with the same problem and it seems to help keep the kid in their own bed and room.

Answer 9

i really like the suppernanny idea. but heres is what i do. i have a 2 year old and a 1 year old. they share a room. i have a fan that i put on just for naps and bedtime in there room. white noise. then i have a classical music cd on. if one wakes up, the other is not bothered.
it will take a few nights of aggrivation and sleep lessness for you, but he will learn and it will be happily ever after.

Answer 10

Just keep putting him to bed. He'll get it eventually. Just don't make the mistake of staying in his room till he's asleep or promising him treats because he will become dependent on that too.