I am 26 years old and I am the only child of divorced parents. In my mom's entire family, there are only 3 grandchildren including me. My two only cousin's are 9 and 5 years old, they were born when I was 17 and 21 years old.
My family acts like they are my sisters, they want me to go to all of their plays and pressure me to be super involved in their lives. I am married, we live 3 hours from my family and see them once a month, I don't want to drive 6 hours round trip on a weekday at noon to see their plays!
We are planning on having our first baby soon and we have a life of our own. My family wants to me to be close with my little cousins but I don't want to bond like siblings with them. I don't want siblings, I am happy with my life and I am sick of having them guilt trip me to call them and chit chat with them all the time. They are not my children or siblings.
Am I being a total jerk?
2006-10-05 10:26:16 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am laughing right now becuz u sound funny. Its like ur screaming, u dont want to give them attention.
But 3 hours are too long to be driving, especially if ur married, u know?
2006-10-05 10:28:50 · answer #1 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a TOTAL jerk...
My advice - every other month when you visit take the little cousins somewhere special. Explain to your family that you have a job, family, and six hours in a car is a long time for a 30 minute play, but you hate to miss it. Then ask the mom/dad to please video record it for your next visit.
I think they are being to demanding, but I think in order to keep from stepping on toes, you should feign an interest, whether geniune or not. But definetly no more round trip car drives on the week days. They may not accept it at first, but they'll get over it. Be sure not to miss birthdays and christmas, and you should be okay.
2006-10-05 10:32:14 · answer #2 · answered by sos_sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your being a little self centered but you have that right. No one finds happieness doing things out of obligation instead of free will. I would say that calling and talking to them is not that huge of a hasstle. Do that and stick to your ground about only going out there once a month. It sounds resonable to me. Explain to your family that you really do love them but that you have other things going on in your life and that you'll do what you can. If you call and show that you are keeping up with what you agreed to then they will back off a little. My guess would be they are only upset because your not trying enough. So give a little more BUT don't give up your happieness.
2006-10-05 10:30:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what u could do is tell thaem what u think. that sometimes ur busy, or have other things to do. and u dont have to see them all of the time but every once in a while u could call em and see how things r goin, or what u been missin, i can understand that driving 6 hours to see them all the time is a lot, ur parents probably miss seein ya and want ya to come over all the time. that can get really irritating.
hope that u figure out what to do
2006-10-05 10:33:48 · answer #4 · answered by sweetandsmart_2010 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you arent. You have ,or are starting a life of your own now. If they have a problem with that then THEY are the ones being jerks.
2006-10-05 10:30:01 · answer #5 · answered by teenypurplebinky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should love them and take them to your place and be with them and that is all fine but going to just watch there play is unacceptable. Just tell them that. Don't tell them that you are not my sisters as that would hurt their feeling and it is not nice to say when they like you so much.
2006-10-05 11:12:08 · answer #6 · answered by Mr Business 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't u just ask them if they r ur siblings.. tell them how u feel... tell them u have a life of ur own to live and they can either be truthful w/u or not...
2006-10-05 10:29:11 · answer #7 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, explain to them that they are your cousin's not your sisters and you have your own life!
2006-10-05 10:29:12 · answer #8 · answered by day dreamin baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi.my coustins acually are my sisters.(long story short)my mom's brother married my dad's sister.thats all i had to say.bye!!!!!<3
2006-10-05 10:32:14 · answer #9 · answered by ooxdoggieloveroox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you're not...
just tell them you have your own family now and they need you to be with them
2006-10-05 10:30:34 · answer #10 · answered by Ruthie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋