Help me please?

Question

Sorry if this is long but I'm driving myself insane over this situation. My boyfriend and I just broke up because he is going through a lot of crap right now. He has no time and has a lot of stress so he didn't think it would be right to date me. I know this is all true but I'm having 2nd thoughts because a little bit before he broke it off I thought he started to have feelings for his ex who he still hangs around with(could be paranoid though). I don't think she would ever take him back though because of his past. I also worry about him because he is such a great friend, I have a feeling all this stress in his life could lead him back to his past of drugs and alcohol. If he went back to that I would not date him. If everything calms down in his life I could see us getting back together but now we are just friends-but should I even think about getting back with him? If every time he goes through a crappy situation and breaks it off I don't think I'll be able to do it.

Should I give him time? Do you think I'm just being stupid when I think his ex is on his mind? Should I move on? When I explain this to coworkers they say hes cheating on me, but I don't know. I would really like Guys and Girls opinions on this. In your past have you gone through a similar situation? How did it turn out?

Answer 1

long words, but hey we need to get info to, right?
Now it is good that you knew about his past, but with things going on, you can only do what you can.
as for his ex, well maybe they can talk about things more openly then with you. I don't why this is, but just think, you tell things to you bf over your mom and she give birth to you, right? So it is just something like that. If he can get everything back to normal, then go for him, if he can't than you need to break it off and find a new guy.

Answer 2

I think it's only in rare situations that a person will end a relationship b/c of "crap" and "stress". Usually, that's just an excuse. Unless you're the cause of the stress, of course. If he really wanted to be with you, he wouldn't break up w/you because of "crap." He'd be with you no matter what was going on in his life. You need to face up to that and move on. Stay friends with him, but don't sit around and "wait" for him to be ready to be with you again. I guarantee you, even though he's "stressed", that he'll be out having some fun with someone. Sorry if that hurts, but I"ll bet it's true. You should do the same.

Answer 3

i think if he is still hanging around with his ex that he has feelings for her...i would not let myself get hurt over him...and i think you should move on...or least keep your distance until he finds out what he wants...i also think that if he has had problems in the past with alcohol and drugs that you could do better...lots of times they go back to things like that....i think you should not let this get to you...keep your mind off of him and try to find other things to do...also maybe there is someone just around the corner that will have time for you....and care about you...i am sorry if this hurts you but this is just my opinion and what i have learned from the past.....good luck though and i hope the best for you.....

Answer 4

If he needs to focus on himself, let him. If he is thinking about his ex so be it. No-one knows but him. You have a few options, wait for him or move on. I suggest you do both. Live your life, go about your business and remain his friend.

You are very right, if this is how he deals with things, he wont be a good partner to you.

Let him take care of his problems and if he comes back to you, make your decisions at that point. If he doesn't come back, no hardships on your part. All you can do is be a friend.

Answer 5

You will have to determine if you want to place yourself in a relationship with someone that is capable of going back to drugs and alcohol whenever a stressful situation comes about. It sounds as if he has issues that He needs to work on, and you will not be able to do this, he must do it.
Wouldn't you rather be with someone that is able to take control and make healthy productive decisions, for himself and you, if involved. Don't allow yourself to be toyed with no longer, Life is short, and you should be happy. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you. God bless.

Answer 6

don't leave him.
When he is going through a lot of crap don't make his situation worse. stay to him and support him. That my dear means realtion you cannot run away just because there a big clounds on heaven number seven.
help and support and have a look back when you both managed it.
You will find a strong relation and more than love

Answer 7

Give him the space that he asked for but let him know that you will be there for him if he needs you (support him through it). Maybe his ex is just being a friend and being them for him. You are his friends and friends support each other.

If his past returns and takes over, at least you tried to be there for him when he needed you - but don't be dragged into his past with him.

Answer 8

REALLY. He dumped you. If you want to be friends, be friends. In the meantime, however, try to find someone that appreciates you and considers you a part of his life instead of something he doesn't have time for.

Answer 9

personally i dont know if his story is true, but if he has a history with drugs and drinking you may be settting yourself up for a pattern that could last for years. if you are able to, step back and see what he does with his space. tell you are fine with his wanting to cool things but you for yourself need your own time away from him.

Answer 10

I THINK YOU NEED TO GIVE HIM HIS SPACE. HE COULD HAVE THINGS GOING ON OR HE COULD BE USING IT AS AN EXCUSE BECAUSE HE HAS SOMEONE ELSE HE IS INTERESTED IN. JUST GIVE HIM SPACE AND TIME.