There's a few people who I knew five or ten years ago at work, but they aren't people I'm comfortable around and never had personal friendships with them. I just knew them at work. I will be in a situation soon where I will be seeing many of them for the first time in years (in a meeting). I'm quite sure a few of them will ask me for my personal phone number so "we can get together", but I don't want to share that info with them or get together. What is the least hurtful, socially correct way to avoid giving them my phone number, e-mail, address, and to decline an invitation I don't want to accept? I'm not a bad person. I just have a circle of friends that I'm compatible with and these are not people like that. But I don't wish them harm.
2006-10-05 08:47:30 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
For the e-mail address say "Oh how funny you are! Like I have time to get on the computer!" This clearly tells them several things. 1. you have no extra time to spare. 2. If they e-mail you, they can expect you not to e-mail them back. As far as declining an invitation: "Well, between work, school, the kids, church, I'll have to check my schedule. Let me have your number so I can get back to you" This works perfect because usually, they won't ask for yours because they've just given you theirs. If they do ask for your number, this is when caller-id really comes in handy. Don't take their calls, don't return their messages. As far as your address, if this is so important to you, and it obviously is, get a temporary p.o. box and tell them all your mail goes there. If they request your home address, tell them you'll give to them but you are in the process of considering selling your home/looking to rent elsewhere. This is not a lie. Everybody from time to time thinks of selling their home and if you do rent, you're not going to be there forever. As far as the school/church/kids....mentally list your activities so you can have your response ready. Good luck. I know what you're going thru. Sometimes we grow up and move on but the jackasses we used to hand around with are still immature and a bad influence. That was my case.
2006-10-05 09:00:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't lie. Just be honest. Honesty is always the best way to handle it. You can be honest without being mean. If the person has a problem with it then it's their problem.
Chances are in that situation the people will never call anyway. Giving out an email address would be the best bet.
If being honest makes one a B#@%h then I am Mega B#@%h, and proud of it.
2006-10-05 10:24:24 · answer #2 · answered by thesherrya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont have to tell them that you dont want to speak to them...you can just lie and my phone is disconnected because I'm going to move or you can Just go and say hi do some minor chating just say...I'm sorry but I must get going I have to be some where in a few or I have to pick up someone. And by doing that you have just avoided them even having a chance to ask you for that info.
2006-10-05 09:05:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the scenario you just set up is correct, I think fewer of them may actually ask personal information from you than you suspect. And for those who may, email is safe and easily ignored, answered peremptorally, etc
As to invitations, I hate advising lies, but you are so reticent, I'm sure you can easily find something else needs done that day more pressing.... mind I emphasize "pressing" not important... who among us nowadays really takes into account what is "important" in dealing with others.
2006-10-05 09:00:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Social fibbing seems to be in order here.
"I'm sorry, I don't have an e-mail address that I can use for personal things, my current employer is rather strict about company e-mail usage, and I'm really not ever reach-able by phone - out of town a lot, you know..."
2006-10-05 09:16:14 · answer #5 · answered by sewmouse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do one of two things:
1) Be brutally honest with them.
2) Give them the phone number to Chuck E. Cheese.
2006-10-05 08:55:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell them you really just do not have time to hang out. Take their number and never call. Or, simply tell them you are not interested in hanging out with them.
2006-10-05 10:19:13 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set up a secondary email, one that you can give out for junk mail and people you don't want to talk to, then give that email address out. hotmail and yahoo both have free email and hotmail doesn't ask for an alternate email address like yahoo does.
2006-10-05 09:03:21 · answer #8 · answered by ZED 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just simply say, No. Don't lie, don't falsify your information. Tell them exactly how you feel. You don't know if you will hurt someones feeling unless they tell you. Also, open your mind, you never know if their friendship can bring change for the better for you or them. Open your heart and mind to other opinions and lastly don't lie about how you feel.........
2006-10-05 08:56:25 · answer #9 · answered by Kawainani 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you sound like a pretty nice person. therefore it will probably bother and worry you more that it will the people that you just have to say, "no, i'd rather not." and smile sincerely while you say it. i find that i need to keep uncomfortable moments to a short time...so i don't say any more than i have to..no explaining or apologizing. it may hurt their feelings but they will get over it quickly.
2006-10-05 08:59:29 · answer #10 · answered by Cheryl E 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋